to feel upset that they 'felt sorry for me'?

[GamoraT]

I'm a cleaner in a big train station. I didn't dream of becoming a cleaner and it's by no means my ideal job, but it's mine and I do it well. A bunch of women walked past me on my shift recently and I heard them say that they felt sorry for people like me, doing jobs like the one I do. This has stuck with me for a few days now and I feel I need to post about it. Do people really see those who are doing jobs such as mine as less? People they need to feel sorry for? I just don't know how to feel about that comment and am gutted that that's how I was categorised...

I also know someone who owns a drain cleaning business ( is that who’d clear a blocked toilet?) and is at a minimum a millionaire with huge house, car, holidays.

I was once in a lift at work and thought, 'god, if this faults and crashes to the ground, I reckon I would be just hurt enough to not die, but could get a week off in hospital'

Precisely how I used to feel. I used to dream of getting hit by a bus or something, just so that I could get some time to myself and people wouldn't expect me to reply to emails. The stress was constant and overwhelming and didn't ever go away.

You think a train station cleaner chooses their hours and fees slane?

I think that's an interesting point, Slanetylor. Maybe it is a class thing where it's gospel that 'white collar = amazing! Lucky you!' and 'blue collar = omg, you poor thing.' without any regard for the individual behind it all...like appearances/keeping up with the Joneses are paramount.

I’m literally lost. Is this an English class system thing?

Yes.

I can fully understand why it would upset you. For all they know your life is a lot happier than theirs. I thinking judging people for what they do for a living rather than who they are as a person just shows up those who judge as being superficial and judgemental. There must be lots of advantages to the work you do; no office politics to deal with, no targets to hit, no having to deal with stroppy customers etc. etc. etc.

My son works nights cleaning trains - I am VERY proud of him. It's made me realise what a bunch of wankers general commuters are leaving their rubbish everywhere - never mind, somebody else will pick it up... Probably some lowly dimwit who can't get a decent job... OR maybe a hardworking 21 year old working every night he can to save up for a house deposit...

Some posters have such a chip on their shoulder! Feeling sorry for someone who does a job they couldn't do themselves is hardly being superior. You can also just have general humanity and kindness:

I feel sorry for people whose sick days are unpaid.
I feel sorry for people who can't take time off when they want.
I feel sorry for people with heavy uniforms who are melting at this time of year.
I feel sorry for nursery workers who have to deal with shitty nappies from random children.
I feel sorry for a lot of people.
I feel sorry for myself to have to work at all!

I think they have a disrespectful and narrow attitude and I don’t share it.

I wouldn’t feel sorry for you, I’ve been a cleaner and I enjoyed it, I was also the fittest I’ve ever been (clearly visible six pack from lugging equipment about!).

I feel sorry for people with no aspiration to work at all, those people who sit on their arse in shifty surroundings with no desire to improve their situation.

Is yours a job I’d want now? No.. not really. But then I do accountancy, in an office on my own, quite frequently sworn at by the directors. I’d imagine not many would want my job either. I’m not to be pitied though, and neither are you. They were being dicks.

Thing is, if all the cleaners went on strike the place would have to close. If the station manager went on strike the place could presumably continue ticking over until a replacement was found. Most people don't think in those terms, and fail to appreciate the importance of jobs like yours op, which probably also contributes to patronising faux sympathetic remarks like the one you overheard.

Take a brick from the top of a structure, it still stands strong. Take out the bricks at the bottom and the whole lot collapses.

I have great respect for cleaners it takes skills to clean well & yes it’s hard work but I admire hard workers regardless of the job...

You know what? People are gonna judge no matter what. This thread annoys me those who say the comments are justified are so wrong! If you're not in work, they criticise, you're working, they criticise. Please ignore the negativity from them irl and those on here - you're in work, you're doing a great job. They "sympathise" with you?! Well why don't they get their marigolds on and do it. They wouldn't be so happy to, I'll bet. Screw them.

It's a perfectly respectable job. Hope they just meant it's hard work esp in this heat. I would say the same about teachers, they have a hard job too.

I do understand you being upset OP, it's not polite for them to say in your earshot.

Also, I have a good friend who is a pot washer in a restaurant. She's one of the brightest, funniest, loveliest people I know, but had a rough upbringing and has no formal qualifications. She loves her job! Has a good laugh with the staff, has her earphones in and bops along to the music while she works. I expect some people feel sorry for her too.

HairDyedPink but why do you feel sorry for all those people? Just because you wouldn't like a particular job/role/lifestyle doesn't mean that everyone else feels the same. You're judging people by your own standards and your pity is misplaced and patronising.

I always wanted to be a train toilet attendant growing up.
I love trains and train stations so I would gladly do your job.

I understand. I hate people feeling sorry for me in any circumstances - illness, relationship break ups, being skint etc. and I've had it in the past with jobs (call centre). I find it humiliating and I tend to find the people doing the feeling sorry for patronising and smug rather than sympathetic.

Perspective isn’t it. I have a very well paid job. But my sister feels sorry for me because it’s very stressful, with very long hours and I really only see my kids and husband at weekends.

(For what it’s worth I’m pretty happy with it!)

I absolutely don't feel sorry for cleaners because I can see there are many things about your job which suit you and satisfy you. Moreover, I am thankful to anyone who does a direct service for others. Everyone should have the experience of doing that type of job and then maybe we'd all have a bit more respect for each other

Perhaps they were voicing something more specific though - people's vile habits in public toilets. The fact it's so hot.

I do a job that's well below the level of responsibility or pay I could be achieving. I get asked a lot whether I want to progress to the next logical step 'up'. I don't assume that most of those people look down on me (although I do think some of them underestimate what my job entails). Some of them are probably a bit caught up about status and my job can be seen as low status by people who are motivated by money or academic ability. I used to be one of the latter. But I am happy and very satisfied at the good job I do and the resect that affords me

I've felt sorry for all sorts of people in 'dream' jobs. Hospital doctors, for the hours and hours they have to rush around with barely time to breathe, let alone pee or, luxury of luxuries, eat. Politicians - can't imagine anything worse than being public property, subject to all sorts of abuse and scarily responsible for all sorts of stuff. People who work long hours in offices to ridiculous client deadlines.

I think it's OK to think 'gosh, I wouldn't like his/her job', but in your case, OP, I do wonder whether it was said deliberately for you to hear, out of some misplaced sense of superiority.

I'm sure some people do but they are in the minority. A job is a job but personally I value people like you far above politicians or bankers. I've said to professional delivery drivers how much I value them in comparison to a man with a van. The guy who works for the council litter picking is doing a great job in my opinion. When I use services or public spaces I like them to be good and clean. Why wouldn't you value the people who do these roles? I've worked in McDonalds as a student, it's a flipping hard job. Also a waitress and it's hard graft. I always make sure my kids know how valuable these people are and make sure I pay attention when they are talking to me and use manners. Please don't feel sad, you do amazing work.

I think it's OK to think 'gosh, I wouldn't like his/her job', but in your case, OP, I do wonder whether it was said deliberately for you to hear, out of some misplaced sense of superiority.

I hadn't thought of that, but how bloody awful if they did! Actually I think this might be the case, otherwise why say it at all. Some people really are wankers.

I understand. You don't need pity. You do a job and do it well. I work in hospital and I'm forever grateful for the really good cleaners