to feel upset that they 'felt sorry for me'?

[GamoraT]

I'm a cleaner in a big train station. I didn't dream of becoming a cleaner and it's by no means my ideal job, but it's mine and I do it well. A bunch of women walked past me on my shift recently and I heard them say that they felt sorry for people like me, doing jobs like the one I do. This has stuck with me for a few days now and I feel I need to post about it. Do people really see those who are doing jobs such as mine as less? People they need to feel sorry for? I just don't know how to feel about that comment and am gutted that that's how I was categorised...

@GamoraT

What a nasty comment for them to make. All jobs are worthy, and whilst some people wouldn't like it, others don't mind.

I have a neighbour who is a carer for special needs people and another who is a carer for the elderly. I could never do that tbh, but they both enjoy it, and say they could never work with children or be a teacher.

I also used to know tradesmen who say they could never work in an office job, but office people who like it and wouldn't want to spend their days on a building site, or painting and decorating.

To quote the scene from Bruce almighty... by God...

'There are people who struggle to get by from week to week at their jobs.... What is truly amazing is that, while some may grumble about the unfairness of the world from time to time, they tend to be rather happy with life. They know they are earning an honest living, and it is their hard work that provides for their loved ones.

Some of the happiest people in the world go home smelling to high heaven at the end of the day.'

Some of the posts on here show that some people agree with the people who made the comments, and reading between the lines, they probably think you're beneath them.

Ignore them.

I understand OP.

There's something horrible about being pitied.

There's also something unpleasant about being talked about in the third person within earshot, as if you are from a different species and don't understand English, or it's irrelevant whether you hear or not. I've had it done to me a couple of times in my life. Made me feel worthless.

Being "pitied" for a well-paid high-stress job is not the same as what you're talking about. I get it.

I wouldn't pity you. I'd probably not think anything, other than another person getting on with their day and earning a living like the rest of us. Don't let it bother you

I think it’s patronising in the extreme to feel sorry for you. I might feel sorry for someone working in the snow or on Christmas Day but not for just doing their job. The cleaner in my place of work earns a good wage and is very well respected.

I wouldn't be upset I'd be offended. Someone has to do your job, there is no shame in being a cleaner even if it means cleaning toilets! You should be proud you work hard and earn your own money. Snobby idiots!

Its not a glamorous job and its hard work so alot of people wouldnt want to do it if they had other options, It seems a good one if you want to keep fit though, Id rather be a cleaner then some other jobs its boring but alot of jobs are boring, I was thinking i could get a job as a cleaner i havent worked for ages ill health , can you wear music while you do it that would be great , not sure if your allowed too but it would be cool , If ppl look down on you for being a cleaner thats a bit weird , if anything you can do something they woudlnt feel able to do same with carers,, I dont know if i could do something like that, but think the ppl who can do that are great better then me

It was very thoughtless to make that remark in your hearing, it would play on my mind too. You sound like you have an enviable life, in that you sound content. Some people never achieve that. I was a nurse for 30 years, it’s only now that I’ve left it that I realise the stress and work load were untenable. Hated it at the end. You just carry on doing what you do, be happy and ignore the ignorant remarks.

OP they just sound like a bunch of rude snobs who are stuck up their own backsides and can't imagine how anyone could possibly have such fabulous lives as them, urg. They've probably had a silver spoon shoved up their bums from birth and don't realise that some one who is a cleaner can also a) take pride in their job b) have feelings. Stuff them. I wouldn't feel sorry for you, same as I wouldn't pity anyone who does an honest job, what ever they do, that is called having dignity. They are just narrow minded and that's their problem.

I feel sorry for call centre workers, cashiers, customer service reps, waiters, nurses. Anyone doing shift work and having to deal with the public.

I’m sorry you feel that way. I wouldn’t think less of you as a person if you get what I mean - I’d be perfectly happy for a friend to be a cleaner , but I’d feel sorry for them that they felt that was their best job option as I too hate cleaning toilets etc and so would hate to spend all day cleaning someone elses rubbish.

Jobs like yours are important
I might not fancy doing it myself and that is ok. They still have to be done or everything falls apart like in all institutions.To show contempt for those that do them is beyond the pale.

This sums it up for me. I can’t abide people who show contempt for people working, no matter the job they do.

I actually take my hat off to you OP because it’s a tough job (in the sense that people are disgusting and you must be faced with some sights) and I don’t pity you at all.

Being pitied is such a shit feeling isn’t it? People pity me and my kids because we’re autistic and it feels crap every time.

Those women making that horrid comment would soon notice if there were no cleaners!!!

And actually, I think they are to be pitied, imagine being an adult without any sense of decency or gratitude. What a lonely life.

Garbage collecting now -that seems a pretty good gig! As long as you can handle early mornings. And like beer given they must get a bottle shop worth at Christmas.

This made me smile. My DS's just got his first job in the university summer holidays, as a cleaner. He loves the job, but he did say that he got it easily, as no-one else wanted to be a cleaner!

I've proudly told people that he's got his first job... then I say he's a cleaner, and I can see people don't know quite what to say! He's got 5 good A-levels (stealth boast), and I know they're thinking that their (less academic) DC are doing so much better, because cleaning's a bottom job More fool them, though, because the pay's good, and he says there's really good camaraderie.

I don’t feel sorry for you. You work, you get paid. That’s absolutely fine. They wouldn’t want to do it... I work in an office, I’d rather clean than be the director. Each to their own

I'd would not feel sorry for you but because I absolutely hate cleaning other peoples mess up I'd quite admire you for doing it. I feel the same about people doing highly paid jobs in hospitals that involve lots of blood or poo because that makes me feel really sick. I wouldn't think any less of you for doing it. It's a job and I don't think it's a crappy job. I hate it when some people think that everyone doing a job like cleaning must hate it and want to do something else. That's so patronising.

I don’t feel sorry for you. It sounds as if you are happy. I’m too ill to work and have a very compromised life. Yours otoh sound much more fulfilled.

I get you, OP. It's a pretty shitty moment to have, to feel like someone feels pity for you because you have - in their opinion - a crappy job. No job is crappy unless you make it so.

Also , bloody rude of them, and they were horrible people if they didn’t care if you heard.

And I do see why it upset you so much OP, they were being fucking patronising.

I don't feel sorry for you, I admire you. I'm glad you enjoy your work and have a good life. I wish more people would get off their arses and do some honest hard graft instead of claiming benefits. We can't all be neurosurgeons or barristers and I think as long as you are living your best life, then that's all that matters. We'd all like to earn more no matter what we do, so it's great you and your husband are comfortable and happy. I am so grateful for anyone providing necessary services to make all our lives better and easier, and I certainly would never look down on you for doing this kind of work.

Theymademejoin - I had a stressful professional job and used to come home and cry with stress every night. I eventually made the difficult decision to leave the profession and now have a less stressful, but good job in an office which I love. However, my friend who is a carer is unable to do this, and couldn’t get a job as a shop assistant which is what she wants to do. I do therefore have less sympathy for people in highly paid well qualified jobs than for those who have fewer opportunities open to them and do not wish to live purely on benefits.

However, Op, - please don’t let people make you feel bad. Some people are just ignorant.

Would they not have been referring to the heat though? Cleaning's hard physically and cleaning a train station in this heat sounds hard work? I did say similar to the Tesco delivery driver "don't envy you carrying those in the hot weather" I didn't mean I looked down on him in the slightest.

Actually no, I don’t feel sorry for you at all. I think you should be proud that you do an often thankless and unpleasant job for the benefit of many. I have great respect for workers doing your job and am ever grateful that someone is willing to. Dirty lavatories are gross. They make journeys unpleasant.
Hold your head high.

Fuck no. I work in a school and I love it when our cleaners come in. They're always so cheery and lovely. Most of them have young kids and their hours mean they've been able to pick their kids up before work. They come in, work a couple of hours, have a bit of banter with any pupils who are still around and leave to go home to their families. I normally leave about an hour after rhem after doing unpaid overtime taking work home with me just to meet my targets. I envy them

I think theymademejoin nails it. It’s about happiness in a job (which a nuanced difference to the semi pity party of’oh my job is worse than yours’ this thread is veering towards).

Lawyers, cleaners, teachers etc aren’t any better or worse. They all come with their own stresses and un/happiness.

I don’t agree with high-earners saying they dislike their jobs is tactless in the context of this thread. Money doesn’t automatically equal joy. If anything, implying high earners should be grateful = low-paying jobs are awful...that’s pitying behaviour

Btw, lots of jobs, regardless of tax brackets, have barriers to entry. The work some lawyers do in the City simply isn’t done on the high street.

It doesn’t matter that high salaries compensate for crap elements of a job. Some people will pity, as this thread has shown, high earners and low earners. THAT’s the point. The women that said that comment to the OP could have said that about anyone. And, moreover, bollocks to what they think. If you like your job, you’re far ahead of the curve. And kudos to you.