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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

england match clash

150 replies

Storminateacup74 · 05/07/2018 22:33

I am going to see a show in London with some friends this saturday afternoon. We booked a yr ago I never get to go anywhere child free as hubby finds hard to cope with the kids so when I was invited this year instead of saying no I said yes this was back in August last year. Obviously now England are playing and he has said that under no circumstances can I now go as he needs to watch the game without the kids in peace. Also unfortunately my son is in a dance competition at 3pm on the same day which I thought may have been changed but they are not changing it because they say that is a different clientele people who watch the football, and halls and examiners have been booked. Maybe I should have checked with him first but he would have said no regardless of the world cup. He says he will go out tomorrow night and not come home till sat pm so I can't go. He is a huge football fan and says that I can go to see this show in London anytime and he will let me go another weekend. As if it is as easy as 1,2,3 to get tickets... AIBU standing my ground or is he being unreasonable making me change something that has been booked for ages??

OP posts:

Terri84 · 05/07/2018 22:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Pflt · 05/07/2018 22:36

He says he will go out tomorrow night and not come home till sat pm so I can't go.

I honestly don’t know what to say.

Do you normally treat each other like this?

bluemoonchances · 05/07/2018 22:37

He's being a childish dickhead. Play him at his own game, pack your bag, go to your friends tomorrow teatime, stay with friend over night , relax, enjoy trip to London. Leave him to sort the kids.

If you don't go it effects your friends too.

I assume he's got a smartphone so he's not going to be cut off from what's happening with the match.

hidinginthenightgarden · 05/07/2018 22:38

He is being a prick! Are there any grandparents who can step in? Otherwise tough shit. You made your arrangement well before the world cup made theirs!

NotTakenUsername · 05/07/2018 22:38

He says he will go out tomorrow night and not come home till sat pm so I can't go.

Speechless

ACatsNoHelpWithThat · 05/07/2018 22:39

So you didn't get to go anywhere for a year because diddums couldn't cope with his own children? Fuck that, I'd go to the show if I were you, he can have a taste of his own medicine having to prioritise his DC over his own needs for once.

LighthouseSouth · 05/07/2018 22:39

Jesus wept.

scottishdiem · 05/07/2018 22:40

He sounds like a monumental and abusive arse. Why did you even have kids with him? He doesnt love you (any actual loving husband would take the hit that you booked that far in advance so the clash could not have been predicted) and doesnt love his kids - football over a dance competition.

What is the point in him?

OwlinaTree · 05/07/2018 22:40

Well he's clearly being a dick. I'm not sure what you can do about it though if you really think he'll just go out and not come back.

Can he pay for you to all go on another day?

Babybearsporij · 05/07/2018 22:40

How old are your DC? Mine love watching the football with my DH. Or they will play / watch a film upstairs in our room. Why does he need to watch it "without the kids"?

CluedoAddict · 05/07/2018 22:40

What a first class idiot. I don't know where to start. He needs to be a parent and learn to cope with his children. It is a game of football not some life or death situation. I would let him go out tomorrow and use the time he is out to pack all his things. Why do people put up with this behaviour?

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 05/07/2018 22:40

He sounds a complete cock, to be brutally honest.

You’re going to see a show which he’s known about for a year: it’s up to him to sort out Saturday. No way would I put up with DH saying that to me - “under no circumstances can you now go”???

If he went out tomorrow and didn’t return until after the match, he’d find his bags packed and on the doorstep and the locks changed, tbh.

I am RAGING on your behalf!

FlyingElbows · 05/07/2018 22:42

Well if nothing else this proves the horrifying statistic that incidences of domestic unrest increase when England play international matches. Op there's so much wrong with what you're describing here that you have more to think about than one day out.

LagunaBubbles · 05/07/2018 22:42

He will go out and not come back to force you to stay? Seriously? I really couldn't be in a relationship with someone who would do that.

LighthouseSouth · 05/07/2018 22:42

Sorry I was so stunned I didn't answer

Of course YANBU

And a man who will "let" you go another weekend is a man you divorce.

RelocationRelocation · 05/07/2018 22:42

He will LET YOU go another weekend? Do you need his permission for everything you do OP?

katienana · 05/07/2018 22:42

He's making threats and he sounds very nasty.

Newjobnewstart · 05/07/2018 22:42

Really??? I would tell him where to go and if he did go out tomorrow and stayed out his bags would be on the doorstop waiting for him.
What is it with some men not being able to deal with their own children and some women enabling it?

Longdistance · 05/07/2018 22:43

Bollocks! He can pause the game, take dc to dance competition, he can watch it on his phone whilst dc does competition eyes on both.

Just tell him to ‘suck it up buttercup!’ 🖕🏼and go enjoy the show with your friends.

OlennasWimple · 05/07/2018 22:43

Obviously you need to go as planned. And he needs to sort out childcare so that he can watch the football

EmmaGrundyForPM · 05/07/2018 22:43

You are in an abusive relationship. I really don't know what advice to give you other than you should seriously consider whether you want to be with someone this controlling and abusive.

speakout · 05/07/2018 22:45

It's only a football match.

One of the features I found attractive in my OH was his complete disinterest in football.
We have managed to raise a son with the same disinterest.

It's bliss living in a football free home.

NapQueen · 05/07/2018 22:45

He says he will go out tomorrow night and not come home till sat pm so I can't go

Play him at his own game and leave the house 6am tomorrow. See how the selfish twat copes then.

famousfour · 05/07/2018 22:45

Ummm. He sounds like a monumental arse as people have said.

Has he actually known about your booking or did you only just tell him - I wasn't clear.

EdithWeston · 05/07/2018 22:46

Pack and leave for your trip now, before before he can.....

There is no reason whatsoever why he can't watch the footie with his offspring. He could make it a really good occasion for him and them

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