Teachers helping my son put his clothes on the right way

[DUFFDADDY1]

Hello
AIBU
Last week When I picked up my son from school he had his top on inside out and his trousers were back to front. When I asked him why he changed his clothes he said that this had been due to going to Gym in the morning. I was furious that the teachers would leave a child in this state.
AIBU
just to add he has Autism

Yes, that sounds uncomfortable. Maybe they were joggers? Some schools have polo shirts and joggers as their actual uniform.

@Roomba yes! that was always my puzzle. How was there a child with no trousers? how did the teacher not notice that at least and ask the kids to check.

My friends ds also came home in no trousers and it was discovered another kid in the class had worn 2 pairs - luckily he had joggers in his pe kit.

It’s rubbish about the lost shoe. Dd lost one brand new dance shoe, which cost over £20. Never found. What do parents do with things, which don’t belong to their children?

As the parent of a child with asd who has associated difficulties with motor skills, sequencing and co-ordination I’m finding the ‘all kids do that’ posts a bit like when people said ‘all kids have tantrums’ when my child used to have severe meltdowns.
The ops child clearly has difficulty dressing beyond the difficulty expected of a typical 7 yr old. Expecting some additional assistance when he has 1-1 is in no way unreasonable.

My DS2 came out of school with his jumper on upside-down once. They had told him and asked if he wanted help changing it, but he was so proud that he'd got dressed himself that he refused.

DS1 also often wore his coat upside-down.

Porkflute I agree.

Actually I would assume that he wasn’t confortable but didn’t say it BECAUSE as you say, children would realise at that age that trousers are uncomfortable (and wouod have said something. They wouldnt have stayed with trousers with zip at the back for the whole day).

And where are you getting the trousers with a zip idea from? I know of many schools that have trousers with elasticated waists as part of their uniform (well, most schools here are more practical and just have kids wear in tracksuit on PE day - but that's for another thread). If it's an elastic waist band there is no issue with discomfort sitting on a zip and it's extremely possible not to know trousers are on backwards.

Last week DS (6) went to school and spent whole day at school with trousers back to front.

I smiled when I noticed, his lower half wasn't in a "state" no-one noticed, no-one, including him cared.

If he was comfortable and not bothered I wouldn't be either.

Porkflute
Tantrums especially in older children is completely different. I can only state from personal observations as I said in my post upthread.

And severe difficulty dressing when it is the result of a disability is completely different to an expected difficulty in dressing due to you being 7.

I genuinely don’t see the problem and defo not something to be furious. Young children often can’t quite manage after pe. There is no harm to them wearing their top inside out for half a day (or even a full day for that matter) so not sure what there is to be so upset about tbh!

It’s like saying about a child who has 1-1 to help them with their work and the teacher isn’t helping them that there’s not need to worry cos sometimes my child gets some of their work wrong and then sharing amusing anecdotes about when your child has go their work wrong.

Some kids would feel shit if an adult always told them that they'd changed their clothes wrong each time they had pe.
Lots of kids his age will still be wearing clothes inside out etc. No mirror to check yourself after getting changed and kids that age aren't in the habit of checking anyway.

Practice turning stuff right side out over the summer. He will get there.

I must admit I'm always so proud of my DS putting his clothes on himself (he's dyspraxic - he still finds it tricky at 7) that the last thing I'm going to do is start picking holes in how he's done it - a backwards t-shirt and upside down socks hasn't killed him yet!

He has some allocated to him most of the time. Is it really too much to ask for assistance which would take 2 minuets?

He has a TA allocated, to assist in teaching him, not personal care.

I can understand why you might be more sensitive than average about your DS being dressed incorrectly. When you have a DC with SEN you really don't want there to be anything extra they can be teased about.

My DS2 has ASD so I can empathise. However, I have DS1 and DS3 who are both mostly NT so I do know how they both came home in the wrong trousers, wrong shoes, wrong way around sweatshirt (which was fluffy and much darker on the inside!) etc etc, so it was a battle I wasn't particularly concerned about.

Ask if your DS can have help with organising dressing after PE put on his IEP, EHCP or whatever. Explain that he struggles more than average with this and you don't want his self esteem to be damaged or him to become more of a target for teasing. So long as you go about it in a non-confrontational way, with an emphasis on 'working together to help your DS develop these skills' with you taking responsibility for practising at home, I'm sure they will comply.

In a class of 30 there will be times when these cosmetic problems may happen. So long as they aren't every time, I really wouldn't worry.

Practice with him at home. Get a small chair- like a school chair. Go through how to undress and lay clothes out. How to put clothes on the chair, making sure that shoes are on seat or tucked under. Then go through how to re dress and put PE kit away. Label shoes and PE shoes inside with L/R or an image if that works better for him.

Make sure that he dresses and undressed himself at home each day so that he is developing the skill.

Has the op said what the ta is allocated to help with? Personal care is often part of the job description.

He has a teaching assistant allocated to him.

That would be very unusual- are you sure?
Usually it is XX hours/units of additional support. Not a 1 to 1 TA allocated.

PorkFlute
You’re projecting. Op said her ds can dress himself. Just needs help turning things the right way round. Tbh most not 7 yos also need some help with this as well. I would assume in this case the 1-2-1 ta would be helping the whole class not just ops ds. It’s completely different from having a child like yours, who has severe difficulty in dressing. As I’m sure you know, all children with additional needs have different needs.

I adore PE day for exactly this reason. DD2 is coming to the end of reception now so it's getting less common but my favourites are polo shirts backwards so they look like little vicars.

PE was yesterday, I could tell as her collar was inside her dress.

The teacher often apologises as they come out, we all laugh saying it's no problem.

Now I realise why she apologise - must've had a parent who moaned about it.....

They're young kids, this is how they learn. No need to be angry.

But if loads of other 7 year old’s are doing similar, PorkFlute, op’s child’s propensity to get his clothes the wrong way round may actually be due to being 7, and not due to his disability?
He may grow out if it around the same time his classmates do.

At our primary they left clothes just as the child put them on in order to show parents/carers there was still some learning to do. IMO it's not down to the teacher to dress the children.

if adults keep telling him his done things wrong he is going to feel like a failure and stop trying . don't damage his self esteem by being petty.

The TA is allocated to help him most of the time. Perhaps she is allocated to another child in a different class when OP's ds is doing PE?