To be saddened by the transphobia and homophobia on Mumsnet?

[spannablue]

I used to come on here for a good laugh. But now there's just so much casual, vitriolic, uninformed rubbish om here!

Do people really think that trans women are secretly trying it on to take over women's space? Have you not seen what they have to go through (for some, horrific surgery; for others, lashings of abuse; job losses; loss of contact with family; street attacks)? Why would anyone choose that?

Did you know that if your kid comes out as trans, they are around 48% likely to attempt suicide, and around half of them succeed? All the literature/research on this shows that it's transphobia, stigma and bigotry that causes this, rather than some innate pathology. When a trans kid is supported to be who they want to be, those suicidal feelings tend to go away. If you've ever had or known a child with depression, anxiety, or who self harms, you'll know the fear and terror that they might succeed.

We're talking about a tiny minority of people who are trans. But what I'm seeing on Mumsnet amounts to collective bullying.

When did it become ok to be so judgmental? Have you ever actually met a trans person and listened to them with an open mind?

There are people of all kinds on social media - trans, not trans, gay, straight, bi, lollipop ladies, lawyers, teachers, academics and bus drivers. Some talk a load of crap. And others engage in intelligent, informed, openminded debate. Please consider trying out your ideas thoughtfully with these people before perpetuating the sort of hateful kneejerk nonsense which can have terrible consequences.

For the record, I'm an academic researcher in the field of applied sociology. I'm not trans. I'm a lesbian with four kids aged 3 to 25, one of whom is nonbinary.

Have you come straight from reading Pink News op? I'm sure they've just run an article saying how homophobic MN is. I've never seen it TBH.

I don’t like to engage in these debates usually but I must ask, do 25% of trans people really die of suicide?

YANBU. It's by far the least palatable aspect of this site. But there are enough on here with transphobic views that people feel justified in saying things they do. Biphobia is also just rampant. I try to challenge it when I can but sometimes you just know it's too much of an uphill battle.

Do people really think that trans women are secretly trying it on to take over women's space?

I believe that SOME people are using the trans movement to get away with murder. As in having access to women space, being put in a women prison (even though they have been convicted of rape) etc etc.
SOME people who haven’t gone through all the surgery and hardship associated with fully transitioning.
SOME people who think that somehow they can be one day a man and one day a woman an expect to be treated as the sex of their choice in that day.
None of those people are people who I would call ‘trans’.

I have no issue with trans people who have transitioned, and are making their way under a different gender. Probably, yes, with great difficulty. These people shouod be welcome in the men and women spaces (as per their gender).
Transpeople who carry on behaving like their original sex shouldn’t.
These are the people who are always hearing about in MN. Because it seems that they just cannot exist and are threatening women, women’s safety.

spanna

Please do make sure that you report and posts you feel are homophobic or transphobic, mumsnet are usually very good at deleting if they think something has crossed the line

Or they tell you why they are not doing which can be useful

it's a case of being shouted down

Genuine question - but how on earth can anyone be shouted down online? You just type and your words appear on the screen for all to see. Your views are out there with no one stopping you. You have all the time you want to craft your words, express yourself, really get your pov across.

I have no social life and Spend far too much time on here. I dont recall any homophobia.

Examples please

You know what is actually fucking homophobic? Me being expected to consider transwomen as potential sexual partners. I dont do dick. But i am fucking transphobic for saying no way.

How many poppers are there in here?

I'm glad this post & thread is in AIBU tho, it's a good thing

Transwomen - Yes
Self-IDs - No.

That's my stance and sticking to it

Check your privilege at the door

@Oswin but it's a ladydick!! Surely you can't say no to that!

^”What we care about is women's and girl's rights. The erasure of the word woman and what it is to be female. The vulnerable position women and girls are put in. The disadvantage in sports for example. The abuse towards children made to transition far too young. The fact that someone can do sweet fuck all besides saying I'm a woman today (keep the penis and the beard and the suit) and we're somehow supposed to accept it?
The fact that a woman has her rights,needs and wants negated because "Shirley" needs validation.
The fact that this madness is all encompassing and nothing seems like enough. The fact that lesbians are abused and insulted if they don't accept the "ladydick" which is just a "large clit" really. The fact that you can apparently identify as a 6 yo girl now despite being a 45 yo father.
The fact that every day women are told who and what they are,what they should say what they should think by men that are doing "womaning" better than them.
The fact that validation of "feelings" is more important”^

I agree with @RebelRogue 100%.

Genuine answer titchy: when a dozen cliquey posters all jump on one poster for having a differing view. Repeating the same question over and over, deliberately taking comments out of context, pulling apart posts for SPAG and accusing them of being trolls. I am talking about these things all done together, pack like. I'm guessing that this post will be a good example of it

RebelRouge

100%

Op you need to try harder for your articles this is just lazy love

AbouTo I should have clarified, I was specifically talking about the homophobia. I'm totally up for debate about any topic.

For examples of homophobia please see the recent Tom Daly thread
Oh, you mean the thread where lots of posters were making very clear how immoral they found commercial surrogacy, whether it was purchased by homosexual, heterosexual and/or celebrity couples? Cos, you know, Financially and/or mentally vulnerable women’s womb for hire = EXXPLOITATION (XX not a typo btw)? Thank fuck for that, because for a minute there I thought there might really have been some homophobia.

You do realise that trans people and gay people are not the same right? Because you haven't actually provided any examples of homophobia. You don't seem to have provided any examples tra sphobua either. You have alluded to the who single sex spaces thing that is going on-is that what you mean. Because you OP gas basically gone You are bigots. Tans people gave it so hard. I am so disgusted. I now give nonspecific qualifications and random personal details.

Oswin I don't remember anybody accusing Kim Kardashian of child abuse for using a surrogate.

Well it is quite evident you haven't read any of the posts on this subject here. So where is your evidence of transphobia? As for homophobia, you've got to be joking.

YANBU - I agree completely. It's so sad to read some of the things on here especially when they are taken to an extreme

OP look up Magdalene Berns. She is a lesbian who speaks passionately about the horrific homophobia lesbians are facing at the hands of TRA’s.

Op must be reading a different forum to me. I don't believe her.

Tripping, what are you on about???!! More than one person having a similar opinion.....oooooh! What’s the issue with that?

@MinervaJMcGonagall kk was mentioned and criticised several times on that thread. As was another heterosexual couple. But hey ,don't let fact stand in the way of your outrage.