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Original poster

Husband gave my purse away and I’m gutted

148 replies

hattiesmumm · 04/07/2018 19:01

Hi,

It’s my birthday today and the husband bought me a lush mulberry purse. The mother in law has been round and while I was bathing Dd he gave her my old Ted baker purse to her. Apparently she asked for it as I wouldn’t need it now.

I’m really upset. It holds a lot of memories. It was the first birthday present he bought me 4 years ago. When I came downstairs she was saying how she doesn’t care what sort of purse it is but it’s better than what she’s got now.

I’m really upset. 😭 I felt like I couldn’t say anything, I’m really non confrontational.

OP posts:
Keeptrudging · 04/07/2018 19:03

Your DH needs to contact MIL and apologise for being a twat and giving her your purse. It's not your job to get it back, it's his.

Alienspaceship · 04/07/2018 19:04

Your husband needs to ask for it back, with an apology and an explanation that it wasn’t his to give away. Job done.

Fucksgiven · 04/07/2018 19:04

Tell them there has been a mistake and you still want it

Pengggwn · 04/07/2018 19:04

What a strange thing to do!

Phosphorus · 04/07/2018 19:04

I don't suppose he did it out of spite. I know it's your property, but he's equally close to his mother, and he probably just had a generous fit.

Maybe he thought you'd have no use for two purses. Grin

At least it's gone to your MIL, and not a stranger.

Does he have a wallet or bag you could regift? Grin

Fairylea · 04/07/2018 19:05

It’s really bad of her to ask for it, especially not to you yourself!

Your dh needs to get it back.

TheFoodtheFadandtheFugly · 04/07/2018 19:06

Well, you have some options:

a) be the bigger person and graciously accept
b) hold it over your husband as he owes you - not his to give away!
c) stroll right round there and get the purse*
d) walk into her house and demand something of hers that she might get a replacement of

  • this, this! I am fully paid up member of the Ted Baker family club. Noooo! she has no right! I am possessive enough over my TB make up bag!
Jorah · 04/07/2018 19:06

My dh would have asked me first, but I have to say if I had a nice new mulberry purse I wouldnt care less about the old one.

rhebarb · 04/07/2018 19:06

So tell him Confused

JennyBlueWren · 04/07/2018 19:07

If she's just wanting a new purse buy her one (charity shop?), explain the sentimental value and swop.

LEMtheoriginal · 04/07/2018 19:07

Just buy your mil a new purse and explain as you have here that it has sentimental value. She'll be thrilled with a new purse and you'll get your purse back x

FedUpLetDown · 04/07/2018 19:07

Are you this sentimental over everything? How do you ever get rid of anything? I’m sure your dh can explain to his dm and you can get it back. Nothing to be upset about.

BoxsetsAndPopcorn · 04/07/2018 19:07

I doubt he meant any malice, he likely thought you wouldn't need it now so it would go to a good home rather than sit in a drawer.

Just call her and explain. If it's so sentimental, return the new one as you won't use two.

Pengggwn · 04/07/2018 19:08

I wouldn't take it back off her, to be honest. It was wrong for him to give it away but I wouldn't embarrass her by making her take her stuff out of it and give it back.

Nicknacky · 04/07/2018 19:08

It doesn't have to be confrontational, just say he was mistaken and you want to keep it.

ADastardlyThing · 04/07/2018 19:09

Just say it's a mistake and get it back Confused

Then bollock your dh.

FinallyHere · 04/07/2018 19:10

As so often on MN, this is a DH problem. It was not his to give, so its up to him to explain to his mother.

Its only fair to let MiL know about the misunderstanding, who would want to keep a bag once you k ow the owner was nit finished with it.

Original poster
hattiesmumm · 04/07/2018 19:10

No I don’t have anything to be sentimental over lol. It was the first birthday present he had bought me, and he had chosen it after seeing me looking st it. We had only been dating a few months, I was really special.

Iv told him in upset and he said he will ask for it back. He said he didn’t realise I would be upset especially with a new purse.

OP posts:
pigsDOfly · 04/07/2018 19:11

He needs to ask for it back and tell her he's made a mistake.

Maybe you should start giving his stuff away. Surely he doesn't need more than one pair of shoes, and he can't wear more than one pair of trousers at a time. Goodness the possibilities are endless; so many things he doesn't need.

Can't imagine what he was thinking giving YOUR purse away. It's not his to be generous with.

The days when a woman's property became her husbands on marriage are long gone.

Loopytiles · 04/07/2018 19:12

Glad he is going to get it back. V weird and not OK for him to give away your property!

pigsDOfly · 04/07/2018 19:12

Ah, see you've already dealt with it.

Original poster
hattiesmumm · 04/07/2018 19:12

I don’t want it back tbh, I feel happy knowing she will use it, it just shocked me how upset I was

OP posts:
steff13 · 04/07/2018 19:14

It's very odd. Just because you have a new purse doesn't mean you relenquish your rights to your old purse. I think you're within your rights to ask for it back. But I think your husband should actually do the asking; she's his mother and it was his mistake. If she's a reasonable person she'd understand.

Maelstrop · 04/07/2018 19:14

I’d be really fucked off if my DH did this, not that he ever would, as he’s not in the habit of giving away MY stuff!

ADastardlyThing · 04/07/2018 19:14

Wow, ok op.

Odd thread.