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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband gave my purse away and I’m gutted

148 replies

hattiesmumm · 04/07/2018 19:01

Hi,

It’s my birthday today and the husband bought me a lush mulberry purse. The mother in law has been round and while I was bathing Dd he gave her my old Ted baker purse to her. Apparently she asked for it as I wouldn’t need it now.

I’m really upset. It holds a lot of memories. It was the first birthday present he bought me 4 years ago. When I came downstairs she was saying how she doesn’t care what sort of purse it is but it’s better than what she’s got now.

I’m really upset. 😭 I felt like I couldn’t say anything, I’m really non confrontational.

OP posts:
Original poster
hattiesmumm · 04/07/2018 19:15

I do want it back, but I can’t ask for it back can I? I feel too embarrassed and embarrassed to make dh ask! So I suppose I just have to be okay with it!

The new purse is lush..

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 04/07/2018 19:20

Why would your MIL want a four year old used purse , that’s bizarre .

Nicknacky · 04/07/2018 19:22

Do you want it back or not? This really isn't a big deal, either contact her yourself and say it was a mistake or get H to ask for it back.

And you know what to get her for Christmas now.

DearTeddyRobinson · 04/07/2018 19:22

So do you or don't you want it back OP? If you do, tell DH to get it back from MIL, or you will ask her yourself. It's really not complicated

ADastardlyThing · 04/07/2018 19:23

Of course you can ask for it back Confused it's yours, it wasn't his to give.

"Sorry mum, I made a mistake! Hattie did want to keep that purse and I shouldn't have given it away. Sorry about that, we'll get you one for your birthday/christmas, cheers"

What's embarrassing? It was a mistake.

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/07/2018 19:23

Get him to ask for it back absolutely. And send your dh to get her a new one. Is she really that hard up?

Cheerbear23 · 04/07/2018 19:23

Can’t understand why someone would feel ok with asking for your stuff?

FedUpLetDown · 04/07/2018 19:23

Mulberry purses are lovely. Mine is about 5 years old now and has watermarks on it Sad. Sorry, didn’t mean to sound harsh about being sentimental. Now I have dc’s I find myself hoarding all sorts of crap like their first drawing, their first pair of socks, first teddy etc etc. that I dont have space to be sentimental over any of my stuff anymore!

Topseyt · 04/07/2018 19:27

Of course you can make him ask for it back.

Both of them were very presumptuous here. Her for actually having the audacity to ask for your Ted Baker one in the first place and him for assuming he had any right to give something of yours away at all.

I keep two purses. One is for everyday use and one is for use if we go on holiday abroad, so that I can conveniently keep my sterling and my foreign currency separate.

How did he know you weren't going to do anything like that?

Make the cheeky bugger get it back. Then maybe he and his mother will learn that in future they have no right to claim your stuff.

GabsAlot · 04/07/2018 19:28

what is it then one post you want it another you dont

Honeyroar · 04/07/2018 19:28

He shouldn't have done that without asking, and she shouldn't have accepted it without asking you if you're ok with it either, but it sounds like he was just being thoughtless. He needs to get it back and take her a nice new purse with him as an apology to her. And he needs to be more thoughtful in the future!!

CoffeeOrSleep · 04/07/2018 19:29

You can ask for it back!

You say "MIL, I'm really sorry but DH didn't ask me first and I really want to keep my old purse, I plan to make it my holiday purse as I always find it annoying to empty everything out to put the other currency in, and don't want to carry round all my cards when I'm away. Can I get it back? If you are after a new purse, I'll put that on your birthday /Christmas ideas list, much better than a second hand one!"

That way you don't have to feel you are being judged for viewing a purse as sentimental.

FatBarry · 04/07/2018 19:31

You want it, you don't want it, you want it but can't have it?

Just get it back, if you're feeling generous buy her one from TK Maxx, they have great purses.

trackrBird · 04/07/2018 19:31

It wasn’t his to give away, and MIL should not really have asked him for it. This was an odd situation all round.

I don’t expect you give away his property without at least asking ?

gekiort · 04/07/2018 19:32

It would piss me off that my DH thought he has any right to make decisions regarding my things and actually give them away without asking me. The actual purse, I would t attach any sentiments to, because you are still with him, he isn't a memory.

Tinkobell · 04/07/2018 19:33

He's a weird guy or a complete clump....I've never heard of someone doing such a thing.

SaltyPeanut · 04/07/2018 19:33

I really cannot comprehend how your DH thought it was his place to give away your property at all.

There is not a single woman I have ever known who would not unleash hell upon her partner for this. Come to think of it, I don't think any of the men I've known would tolerate it either.

You need to get comfortable with confrontation or you are going to get walked all over for the rest of your days.

Topseyt · 04/07/2018 19:34

Gabs, I read it that OP does want the old purse back but doesn't want the embarrassment of having to ask MIL for it.

It is a situation created by her DH and her MIL. Therefore DH should be made to ask his equally presumptuous mother to hand it back.

pigsDOfly · 04/07/2018 19:34

I'm confused OP. You start a thread saying you're gutted that your DH gave your old purse away, and now you're saying you don't want it back.

Why did you start the thread in the first place?

HollowTalk · 04/07/2018 19:36

You DO want it back. Tell your MIL you'll get her one for her birthday or Christmas. Your husband's a cheeky fucker.

ReservoirDogs · 04/07/2018 19:37

Just tell her DH made a mistake as you will need both purses as you will use them on different occasions. I still use my old one when I am going to a concert or football match etc or on hols to known pickpocketing areas.

ReservoirDogs · 04/07/2018 19:37

And you would now know the perfect birthday or Christmas present for her.

Bramble71 · 04/07/2018 19:39

I'm confused as to whether you want the purse back or not?!

Why don't you just get all sentimental over your lovely new purse? Mulberry is such a gorgeous brand. You might soon forget all about Ted Baker!

Justmuddlingalong · 04/07/2018 19:41

Regardless of what you do about the purse, make sure that in future your DH knows never, ever to give away any of your stuff without your permission. And 🎂happy birthday.

Loopytiles · 04/07/2018 19:42

You’re being a martyr. The embarrassment is DH and MILs’z

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