To ask what the funniest thing you've read on Mumsnet is?

[OohOohMrPeevly]

There's some really funny people on here and some stuff has me smiling for days. One I read recently was about the names small children called their parents instead of Mummy and Daddy. One poster wrote that her DC called her DH "Daddy" and called her "Not Daddy" - still makes me smile.

Owl noises!!! Someone actually posted that they made owl noises at their colleague when she was talking as a way of being dismissive and stopping her talking. Absolutely bonkers!

This is zombie and I don't have time to read back as getting ready for work..
But.. Tiny Wanker!!!

There was also one about poo-ella (paella) and the same OP moaned about seaweed being present on the beach

The OP who "literally twitted a spider" (thread title).

And the snapped and farted one.

And the one where the OP was autocorrected to Fiat when she meant fist...

Will check for them in Classics in a bit.

Saw a poster try to describe 'asexual'

She called it 'a sex shawl' .

That reminds me of the "wallah" post!

Mexican House Thief was pretty hilarious