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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what the funniest thing you've read on Mumsnet is?

583 replies

OohOohMrPeevly · 03/07/2018 16:24

There's some really funny people on here and some stuff has me smiling for days. One I read recently was about the names small children called their parents instead of Mummy and Daddy. One poster wrote that her DC called her DH "Daddy" and called her "Not Daddy" - still makes me smile.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 04/07/2018 20:44

When Auntie Tantrums babysat

Cutted up pear

And there was another one which, for some reason segued onto arrangements for dealing with the result, when teenage boys wank. Iirc one MNer’s MIL had knitted a wank sock for her son, and, when he was living at home, she used to wash it and put it in his room, with the rest of his clean clothes, neatly folded.

UrsulaPandress · 04/07/2018 20:45

Wasn't that TantrumsandBalloons

UrsulaPandress · 04/07/2018 20:45

Cross post.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 04/07/2018 20:46

@Clutterbugsmum - you are thinking of the Auntie Tantrums thread - great minds!

Pigletpoglet · 04/07/2018 20:47

First thread I ever read on mn was about spoony fuckers. Never managed to find it again, but it made me weep...

PiggeryPorcombe · 04/07/2018 20:47

Crying at the Hugo thread.

stoplickingthetelly · 04/07/2018 20:49

For me it's probably fat balls, but your minge is a very very close second. I cried actual tears both times.

MrPan · 04/07/2018 20:53

Torvi - no apparently not. She just thought it was a good nn. The best.

RadioDorothy · 04/07/2018 20:56

So many of these have made me weep with laughter but spiderlight your re-telling of "Mmmm...Danone" has completely pushed me over the edge. I actually couldn't look at your post any more, I'm trying to hold it in because laughing to excess irritates my DH...

RockYourSocksOff · 04/07/2018 20:57

Bum crumbs

RockYourSocksOff · 04/07/2018 20:58

And Oxo Tower

Clutterbugsmum · 04/07/2018 20:58

Thanks @SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius that's the one.

StealthPolarBear · 04/07/2018 21:01

Pagwatch texting her husband to ask if he wanted anus anus for dinner
(auto correct for cous cos)

RebeccaBunchLawyer · 04/07/2018 21:03

I loved the CF parking thread where the OP had a fancy dress party to attend later, so was dressed like a unicorn!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 04/07/2018 21:10

The title of the spoonyfucker thread was “sigh - I have to stick a wooden spoon up dh’s arse, don’t I?” - I found it with advanced search but can’t get it to open. Sad

Metoodear · 04/07/2018 21:22

Dick in a cup

dingdongdigeridoo · 04/07/2018 21:25

I’ve just remembered the center parcs = bumsex thread. To this day I giggle inside when someone tells me they’re going to center parcs.

Wildery · 04/07/2018 21:36

"artisan scotch egg"

AntoinetteOuradi · 04/07/2018 21:42

No idea what the wooden spoon fandango is, but it is making me laugh all the same, as my X(note: X) H would have gone for that. FML.

Ploppymoodypants · 04/07/2018 21:44

There is a brilliant one in classics, I think is called ‘overheard conversations’ or something like that.

But there’s a brilliant post about 2 old men at Christmas, discussing whether to treat themselves ‘to a bird’. One is thinking turkey and the other a prostitute 😂

There are some other brilliant posts in that thread. I am surprised it has r been mentioned.

candlefloozy · 04/07/2018 21:52

What was the center Parcs thread?????

dementedma · 04/07/2018 21:55

anything by the much missed Cat Theif Keith

Fightthebear · 04/07/2018 22:01

So glad I caught up with the Hugo thread 😁

notyourmummy · 04/07/2018 22:20

dementedma - yes, and by earthmotherimnot Sad

FrayedHem · 04/07/2018 22:21

The links keep going broken on me, but I did manage to copy my favourite from in a thread in classics, "why why did I do that".

"Mine's really bad. A friend of mine makes me re-tell this story every time I see him.

OK.

It was Christmas. My brother was deeply in love with his new Christian GF and wanted me to meet her. So he brought her along - with her 13-year-old daughter - to what was supposed to be an "elegant" little Christmas drinks party at my house.

Privately, I was a bit stressed and nervous about the party so I'd started early on the mulled wine. When brother, GF and daughter arrived, I was just at the merry stage so made a big fuss of them and then chatted to them all evening, being all lively and nice.

Sadly for everyone, I kept drinking the mulled wine.

10pm, they decide to go home. FOR SOME REASON, as I rocked on my heels, I thought it would be hilarious if I said goodbye in a pretend-nasty way. ???? My reasoning (such as I was capable of) was something like: We had all obviously got on very well, so wouldn't it be funny if I ironically pretended that we hadn't?

So, I turned first to my brother's new, quiet, deeply religious GF and said, with a huge smile, "Well, goodbye then, you f**king bitch."

THEN, I turned to her 13-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER and thinking it'd be even funnier if I upped the ante on this one "And goodbye to you, you f*king c*t."

shock

Stunned, shocked silence all round, which I only broke by falling over.

It took months of carefully crafted apology emails to even get me nearly out of that one. I still die remembering it."