To ask what the funniest thing you've read on Mumsnet is?

[OohOohMrPeevly]

There's some really funny people on here and some stuff has me smiling for days. One I read recently was about the names small children called their parents instead of Mummy and Daddy. One poster wrote that her DC called her DH "Daddy" and called her "Not Daddy" - still makes me smile.

Is "this is my wanking jacket" in classics? I laughed SO HARD at that.

How could I forget Balonz. Genius.

I liked when an emergency services driver (she didn't say which service) admitted she had gone round a roundabout twice on blue flashing lights because she missed the exit. I can just imagine all the driver waiting patiently but going 'what the Fxxx?'

Center parcs thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1385104-Center-Parcs-Anal-sex

I’ve often thought about the wanking jacket. Wtf??

The best one ever was "UCM, is that you?". A poster had just name changed and revealed something outrageous, but the nc failed. Clearly you had to be there.

Thanks to this thread I've just discovered the Hugo post.
Hugotafriendinjesus

Re the wanking jacket ( a thread I have yet to read) I once had phone sex except I didn't, he did and I merely rested the phone on the sofa and watched tv and he told me he was coming in his dressing gown. Except in his country they call them robes. I told best friend and she called it His Wanking Robe. It's been one of our in jokes for about 15 years now...

Oh god I’m reading the Sistine chapel one and howling with laughter thats ended in tears. I can hear the new neighbours in their garden... they must wonder what they’ve moved next to.

AUNTIE TANTRUMS I NEED A WEE WEE. At 3am. 😂😂😂😂😂

New one from me!!
Just posted this evening!!

• To Tell the truth

:D

There's a thread in AIBU think it's calledc"aibu to be fed up of all this coming home nonsense.

Op is saying England won't win and the rest of the world is laughing at them.

A poster has replied "someone hasn't had their snickers"

Brilliant!

I want to read the minge one!

What is the one where the woman swallowed a Lego brick to see how long it took to pass through... in case her dc did it?!? Always wonder if she's still swallowing random shit

is this the minge story?

"this has been on here before but it is my most shamefilled moment and i burn red thinking about it...
32 weeks pregnant with dc3 we went swimming, i had put my tankini on at home so i could see if i had a bad bikini line hanging out the bottom of my bottoms.
we went to the baths,dp got dd2 changed and gave me the armbands and rubber ring to 'sort' and so i just took my out door clothes off and 'met them on poolside' i was dutifully inflating the barbie rubber ring\armbands when dp started advancing down the side of the pool mouthing frantically 'wtf are you doing i can see your minge' i was puffing up the inflatables glaring at him as he gestured and mouthed 'your minge,i can see your minge' i looked on the little chair by the poolside and there,neatly folded,underneath the rubber ring were my tankini bottoms.
i don't know why i took them off,but i was stood inflating shit,by the pool while 'family swim' went on beside me."

Cube of poo #oldtimer

@FrayedHem

😂😂😂

Once arrived late in the midst of a cycling-to-work health drive, gasped down a can of Coke (so much for the health drive), answered the urgently ringing phone with a 'from the depths of hell' resonating belch, and hung up.
From the professional thread has had me crying. And I rarely raise a smile at most posts!

Inspired (presumably) by this thread, today I found myself telling DD that the three pigeons we saw on the prom after school were called Paul, Steve and Marty.

She sat on a bench shouting "Marty! Marty!" at a pigeon while I cried laughing.

To be honest, I didn't think she'd run with it in quite the way she did.

Some posters were talking about how they read MN threads aloud to their DH/ DPs sometimes. One poster said she realised after ages that her DH thought that "DH" stood for Dick Head!

Crying at Hugo...

I'm laughing again now at the memory of the screaming at the Sistine chapel thread!

Also AIBU to say DH's farts ruined our day out. Hilarious.

I actually fell apart on the thread where the OP found a plastic vadge in the shed, and assumed it belonged to her 'D'P.

Her outrage was justified, but the thread took a... turn.

I did that thing where you remember it whilst waiting in the playground and explosively guffaw to yourself, really obviously, on your own. Proper full on coming out of your throat explosive laughing with snot and weak limbs.

That was a good day.

I shed a tear at the Van Gogh Museum, but that was the tragic waste of Vincent's death, but wailing at the Sistine Chapel cracked me up!

@RadioDorothy me too. I’m crying.

Thank you for the link to the Hugo thread, Hugottabekiddingme brought tears to my eyes.

Another thread I think deserves a mention here is the outfit suggestions for a swingers club. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/style_and_beauty/1992360-What-does-one-wear-to-a-swingers-club