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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bridesmaid won't dye her hair

764 replies

elcarmen · 03/07/2018 14:55

My bridesmaid has dyed her hair this week a horrible pink colour and I am getting married next saturday. Am i being unreasonable to ask her to dye it back or uninvite her from the wedding?

For context she is incredibly self-centered and always wants the attention to be focused on herself and I think she has done it just to stick out in the photos.

OP posts:
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16
ChardonnaysPrettySister · 03/07/2018 15:19

What cow, now OP’s day will be ruined.

Ruined!!

Grin
AWomanIsAnAdultHumanFemale · 03/07/2018 15:19

Suspect it is an act of rebellion against a bridezilla specifying knicker colour and teeth shade.

Xiaoxiong · 03/07/2018 15:19

If you suspect she did it to annoy you, then the best thing to do would be to completely ignore it. If you don't mention it then no one else will even notice or care and it will annoy the hell out of her but she won't be able to say anything without behaving like a cow.

If she didn't do it to annoy you then ignoring it would still be the right course of action.

stickygotstuck · 03/07/2018 15:20

I'd have thought you would be tickled pink OP (no pun intended).

First time she's dyed her hair in years, so it sounds like she's gone all out for your wedding and has just picked a colour she likes. Where's the problem?

AfterSchoolWorry · 03/07/2018 15:20

Pink with red looks horrible. She'll look bad.

soulrider · 03/07/2018 15:21

I'm surprised most people think it's nothing. Amongst my friends if someone who had never previously had their hair dyed a non natural colour a week before being a bridesmaid there'd be lots of raised eyebrows. I'm not sure you can do anything, but I do think it's a bit odd.

Iwouldliketostopfeelingsicknow · 03/07/2018 15:21

I don't think you can really change it back but you clearly don't like her so I don't know why she is your bridesmaid.

I'd just leave her to it. She's the one who is going to look like an idiot not you

TheGreatestHo · 03/07/2018 15:21

I think the only crime being committed here is dying your hair pink knowing you’re about to wear a red dress at an occasion Grin

shudder I don’t own a single red piece of clothing and my hair is as pink as it gets

VauxhallVectra · 03/07/2018 15:21

I dyed a hidden rainbow into my hair a couple of days before my friend's wedding where I was bridesmaid.

When she saw it she insisted that I change my plans about styling so that rather than have it down, wavy and on the side, it'd be half-up, half-down so that everyone could see my funky hair.

ReanimatedSGB · 03/07/2018 15:22

Is this someone you didn't want to have as a bridesmaid but were pressured into choosing (a cousin, a sister, a relative of your h2b?) Because you sound like you don't think much of her and she may not think much of you, either.
But, really, all you can do is get over yourself. No one actually cares what colour hair a bridesmaid has.

Gah81 · 03/07/2018 15:22

Your wedding is just one day in her (and your) life and she is free to do what she wants with her hair. I think YABU.

You are the one in the white gown - no-one will be able to take the attention from you on your day (and really, it is just one day, it is the marriage that matters).

AWomanIsAnAdultHumanFemale · 03/07/2018 15:23

Who has red bridesmaid dresses anyway? It’s not the 90’s!

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 03/07/2018 15:23

Sue her, and get compensation for the mental duress she is putting you under.

And send a photo to the Daily Mail.

Alternatively, cancel the wedding and reschedule for next summer when her natural hair colour is back?

aquamineral · 03/07/2018 15:23

This reply has been deleted

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RiddleyW · 03/07/2018 15:23

I'm also baffled by the "don't mention it" comments. Why is that a punishment? What do you think she wants you to say?

I'm a boring brunette by the way so not sure why I'm so invested here! Although my best friend had blue hair at my wedding - it didn't occur to me to worry about it.

marymoosmum · 03/07/2018 15:24

When I got married the best man had long purple hair, he asked me if it was ok before he did it, I said I don't care it is your hair, do what you want with it. The only person who cared was my DM.
If it had been one of my bridesmaids and they were in red dressed, I would have said I love your hair but doesn't pink clash with red and have a giggle. She probably hasn't even thought about it.

steppemum · 03/07/2018 15:24

well, as a guest I would say none of our business, but as your bridesmaid, then yes I think it is an odd thing to do. even more so as it clashes with the dresses!

It would annoy me, as it feels like an unkind sort of dig. But as to the wedding day, well, just enjoy. The only way to deal with stuff at this wedding is to say
Well, that will make a great story to tell the grandchildren.
That way, you can take anything in your stride and smile.

ringadingding43 · 03/07/2018 15:25

@aquamineral

I'm not seeing the relevance to this post but thanks for the info 😁

RiddleyW · 03/07/2018 15:25

It would annoy me, as it feels like an unkind sort of dig

Why? Honestly, can you elaborate?

DiddimusStench · 03/07/2018 15:26

For context she is incredibly self-centered and always wants the attention to be focused on herself

Is your name Miss Pot and her name Miss Kettle?

Lilajuvel · 03/07/2018 15:26

I dyed my hair pink when I was 17 and then I was invited to my aunt's and uncle's wedding. It was suggested that they would prefer my hair to be less extravagant as I was to be a bridesmaid. I didn't take offence, I could see where they were coming from. I bleached it out blonde. YANBU to ask, but YWBU to uninvite etc.

cricketmum84 · 03/07/2018 15:26

Is this real??

Maybe, just maybe she fancied having her hair pink... and thought "ooh I'll do it in time for the wedding so it looks nice on my lovely friends wedding pics"

Maybe she is grown up enough to understand that the focal point of the wedding will be the lass in the big white dress and not the bridesmaids hair?!

Or maybe the entire world doesn't revolve around you. Just a thought?

GameOldBirdz · 03/07/2018 15:26

OP, can only assume you're an Insta celeb type with how hung up on these poxy photos you are....

If so, tell us who you are please

50shadesofgreyismylaundry · 03/07/2018 15:27

Aquamineral, you need to start your own thread with that.

Trinity66 · 03/07/2018 15:28

Who has red bridesmaid dresses anyway? It’s not the 90’s!

what's wrong with Red Bridesmaids dresses? Hmm

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