Bridesmaid won't dye her hair

[elcarmen]

My bridesmaid has dyed her hair this week a horrible pink colour and I am getting married next saturday. Am i being unreasonable to ask her to dye it back or uninvite her from the wedding?

For context she is incredibly self-centered and always wants the attention to be focused on herself and I think she has done it just to stick out in the photos.

I know. I’m reminded of that line from Big Bang Theory: “It’s a wonder you people in California can talk at all” (Sheldon’s mother).

Really keen to know what “awful connotations” the word “appropriate” can have

I'd find "her hair was cut short … I mean, she still looked appropriate" off in any case, and I don't think I'd be alone in that.

But as to why I hate the word "appropriate" in general, I think because the word "appropriate" is so often used to mean "socially acceptable". And, currently and historically, things that are socially acceptable haven't been morally acceptable at all. What with the discussion of pink hair, and the bridesmaid who dared to cut hers short - shock horror! and the fact that I reread 'Girls Like That' the other day when you said appropriate, it kind of slipped into that zone where it was all based on what is seen as acceptable in "polite society" - which usually means "bigoted society."

I know. I’m reminded of that line from Big Bang Theory: “It’s a wonder you people in California can talk at all” (Sheldon’s mother).

Wasn't that after she said 'rosary rattlers' and Leonard suggested that she just say 'Catholics' instead?

I don't think that really helps your case.

OP, when you say you're getting married next Saturday, do you mean this coming Saturday? If so, I'm curious about what your plans are re the England game.

But then I don't work or socialise with 'wacky, out-there, I'm so different to everyone else' types.

It’s not even wacky or out there. LOADS of people have creative colour these days. I am not wacky or out there.

It’s not even wacky or out there. LOADS of people have creative colour these days. I am not wacky or out there.

Was this the same poster who didn't know who Rihanna was?

Also to have it coloured back to brown will cost a fortune and fuck her hair up. If she is brunette it will have cost a fortune to get to a good pink anyway because of the bleach, not to mention the hours it takes to lift brown.

If you still believe it is just to spite you and not just because she wants it, then I’m sure you’ll take solace in the fact she is now poorer as a result.

roses I am genuinely shocked that people still consider pink as an out there colour. I see so many people with pink. It’s a gateway colour 😂 Mermaid hair has been a thing for years.

rosesansflowers1 nice bit of googling there.

Please could you tell me what is wrong with saying someone’s hair looked nice and appropriate (for the occasion). Seriously, please tell me because I haven’t a clue what you are getting at.

I had my son’s hair cut at the weekend because he was performing in a concert this week and I wanted it to look “nice” and “appropriate” (ie. smart for a smart occasion) Does that cause offence too or is it only when applied to women? Is it something to do with women having to look acceptable to others in a way that men don’t? I sense this is what you’re getting at. Am I off track?

things that are socially acceptable haven't been morally acceptable at all

I don’t understand how this relates to my post. I was talking about someone cutting three inches off their hair so it fell a bit too short for a particular hair slide. Not a buzz cut.

Is it a bright shocking pink? Does it really look so bad? I wouldn't be impressed...it takes the focus away from you if it really is a bright shocking pink.

If it's mellow...not so bad.

People will only think she's a bit crazy if it's really bad...no reflection on you.

It does sound very attention seeking though.

My question is after her previous behaviour...why did you risk having her as a bridesmaid? I would have prempted her pulling a stunt.

What is appropriate about brown that isn’t appropriate about pink? Brown doesn’t really go with anything when you think about it, it’s the colour of mud.

Tess Daly,I physically judder when I see her even though it is once a year on strictly

PMSL that was meant for the annoying celebs thread 😂

Is be so irritated by this...I'd kick her off the bridal train...which I understand means friendship over.

If she was that attention seeking and inconsiderate it would be no loss. I hate attention seekers.

I can't be looking back at the pics in years to come and remember her selfishness.

It's also not just the pics...seeing her on the day...if the hair was really brightly coloured would annoy me.

I'm not so short of friends yo be dealing with that nonsense.

I has all my bridesmaids with a particular hairstyle...if one decided to drastically change their hair colour ...I wouldn't have been impressed.

I still don't know why it's a problem.
There will be some woman with caterpillar eyebrows, a man with a huge beard, someone with a crazy hat... Who cares, genuinely I don't get it.

I can't believe how many people would dump a friend from bridesmaid duties (oldest and dearest friend according to OP) for changing their hair colour!? I think I may be on a parallel universe?

I get that everyone wants their big day to be perfect but there's such a thing as going too far! My Chief BM went from a mahogany type colour to bright red not long before the wedding. Her hair looked incredible and it looked outstanding on the photos, yet amazingly me and my new husband still managed to be central despite someone with bright hair I asked all BM if they would have their hair in a particular style - would not have had an issue if any of them hadn't liked it and wanted something different!

Clionba
They won’t be part of the wedding party.

Lol cherrypie at brown hair not matching and brewing the colour of mud. Cos no nothing natural about brown hair.

I LOVE the suggestion that the OP get the evil bridesmaid's hair photoshopped brown in the wedding photos to make it look 'right'. I think I'm going to find my wedding photos and see if I can get them photoshopped. Maybe replace DH with Tom Hiddlestone. Give me the wedding day I should have had.

OP, when you say you're getting married next Saturday, do you mean this coming Saturday? If so, I'm curious about what your plans are re the England game.

is OP the goalie? Why would she have plans re a football match?

I do think the whole saga is ridiculous, but for the life of me I can't understand why a bright-pink hair bridesmaid would take the focus away from the BRIDE?

Just look at this photo, I think the dark-hair girl pops out a lot more than her friend.

There will be some woman with caterpillar eyebrows, a man with a huge beard, someone with a crazy ha.

But they won't be on the bridal train though.

A wedding guest can have multi coloured hair of they want...but I wouldn't want them as a bridesmaid or even a groomsman.

Fundamentally for me is her motivation ...if she always dyed her hair different colours...you'd know it was her character....but attention seeking wouldn't be on with me.

I didn’t say it was unnatural. I said that brown doesn’t go with anything. How many of you wear brown day to day Just because it is a natural colour does not mean it suits you. Also, pink is natural, flamingoes look fantastic.

I wonder what would have happened if she’d shaved her head. You don’t own anyone else’s body, just a reminder!

Just because it is a natural colour does not mean it suits you. Also, pink is natural, flamingoes look fantastic.

bonkers but true, what a very funny way to put it