Mum going on holiday without her child

[pinkwafercustardcream]

First of all I AM her friend before I get accused of slagging the woman off. If I wasn't I wouldn't be posting in here instead I'd be mentioning it to mutuals which I haven't.

So my friend has a gorgeous 2 year old daughter.

My friend works full time in a demanding job which requires trips away and lots of evening events.

She's now on her fourth holiday (excluding weekends away) with friends abroad without her daughter. I know she's not bu to go but I feel she is bu to want to.

This time flies by so fast and she's spends a lot of time working away from her daughter. I just can't get my head around her not wanting to spend this time off with her daughter.

This woman had even gone to Disneyland with friends whilst her child stayed at home.

Does she not like her child much or am I wrong please tell me because obviously i can't ask her that!

Longines I don't know. Id be mightily cheesed off if my DH worked away a lot, leaving me to be the primary carer for a 2 year old, then decided to go on 4 breaks with friends without me! She must either have a lot of holiday entitlement or she's deciding to spend her 4 weeks holiday with her friends rather than her family.

Sorry Longines I just re read. If I was the dad, id be pissed off, if I was just a random friend, Id judge silently probably but not start a thread

Presumably the child is being looked after by the father? What about all those men who travel for jobs/ pleasure?
I go away about 3 times a year without DC. I do miss them and for that reason wouldn’t travel more however I would hate to have a crap job with loads of travel and secretly think men and women who do them are mugs.

I have a friend who is enormously successful and pretty much the epitome of having it all. She goes away for business and pleasure, goes to the gym daily, beauty treatments, amazing restaurants. Yes she’s not seeing her children much. She’s a very disciplined, dedicated person, which is why she’s so successful. The time she has with her children are extremely value added and quality but there is no denying it’s less than most. That’s the secret to having it all.

However her family her choice: her children will grow up far more advantaged than most and sadly in the big scheme of things and mum who is around all the town doesn’t really contribute much to the child’s life does it?

I think it does seem to be a lot of time away without her child, those weekends away could be spent with her daughter having fun. The odd weekend away but it does seem a bit excessive tbh

I couldn't do that. And I'd judge a mother (or father) who could have such little time with their children.

I understand every parent needs time away from their DC - I've done it myself - but a heavy workload, evening commitments AND multiple holidays has my judgey pants right up.

A mother at our primary school does similar and there has been A LOT of comments. I think Mumsnet has an unbelievable proportion of non-judgers. I don't believe it for a second. It is certainly very different out there in the real world that I move in.

I wouldn't do it myself and I don't think you're unreasonable to think this isn't right. She's prioritising herself and her needs before her child. Going to Disneyland without her child is a bit mean and also strange.

Hmmm...working full time is this woman's choice and you can't berate her for doing this. Going on a couple of holidays without her DD I can understand. Her DD's assumedly being looked after perfectly well by her dad.

However, I can't understand the sheer amount of time your friend is spending away from her DD. I agree that going to Disneyland without her DD is not nice. That doesn't sit well with me.

This girl is going to grow up having to wave off her mum monthly as she goes on fun holidays with her friends, knowing that her mum does not want to take her with her. How anyone thinks that is okay is beyond me.

I'd think the exact same as you OP. I wouldn't make it my business though m

O think most people would think the same even if they say differently on here. There are people who want to live the single free life yet they have a child.

It does make you sorry for the child if you're close enough to family to see what goes on. But you just have to keep your own counsel really

If it were a husband flying out so regularly with mates leaving wife at home with their kids, or the kids with his mum etc there'd be uproar and you wouldn't get the same replies.

FWIW I'd think badly of any parent male or female out or on holidays avoiding family life to this extent. Can only hope this situation progresses to taking child on holiday too. At least sometimes.

I would consider having this thread removed.

I know the woman you are speaking about...

Oh if only .. yes I cherish my ds growing up(most of the time) but to have the opportunity without children on holiday..

It’s not about working full time. It’s that she works away from home and then goes off on holidays and weekends away leaving the child with dad or whoever. The child is 2 and may not remember but the child will soon grow and if this continues what kind of relationship will she have with her dd? I’m guessing not much of one as she wouldn’t ever be there to

I might have missed where it says who the daughter is with when her mum is abroad. Also is the daughter getting any holidays at all?

It might be that the mum is at that stage where everyone they know is getting married and there's a huge number of hen-do's abroad to go to. We don't know.

But 4 holidays plus weekends away is a lot of time to be without her daughter. Going on holiday without kids I can understand might be lovely but I wouldn't want to go away that often without mine.

I really don't think there's an issue worth having a holiday away from kids provided they are left with someone responsible- presumably a grandparent or similar. My parents had hols without me and my brother and I regularly went on holiday with my grandparents (parents not there).

It's none of your business at all.

I think I know the woman too and there is a bit of misleading going on. One or two inaccurate conclusions have been jumped to by people and the op has not corrected them.

"Disneyland is for children. It is. I don't see why a mother would go without her child. It is odd. "

Oh Fuck off.

I dont actually see what the issue is here. So what if she goes on holiday without her dc. As long as the child is happy and not being neglected I’d stay out of her business.

She simply has different ideals on how to bring up her dc to you.

What would you do if we all thought that she WBU?

What can you possibly have to gain from this thread other than a smug satisfaction that a bunch of strangers think your friend is a shit and selfish parent?

I'm a better parent when I've had a break. As a lone parent these are few and far between nowadays bit I still need occasional time out.

It sounds like her life is stressful, why shouldn't she have a break every 6 months?

I think I know the woman too and there is a bit of misleading going on. One or two inaccurate conclusions have been jumped to by people and the op has not corrected them.

Tell us then!

Why can't she go on holiday if she wants to? It's not like her daughter will remember her mum going on holiday a lot without her and there is plenty of time they can still spend together. Keep your nose out and let her enjoy the holidays!

@BaronessEllaSaturday I doubt op has any interest in presenting the situation factually and fairly.

I find it very unusual that not one but two posters seem to know this women.

Mmmmm

I find it very unusual that not one but two posters seem to know this women.

indeed Mr Holmes, indeed

My mum and Dad went on holiday 3 times when I was younger I think I was 7, 9 and 11 and one was a week the others were 2 weeks. I was with my Granny.

I didn't mind too much but my Mum was a SAHM. If I rarely saw her during the week and she went away regularly then yes I'd not be too happy but at the end of the day if the child's being looked after that's all that matters.

I would like to note being a friend does not mean not judging them ever. It just means you care for them, look out for them and value their company. However i wouldn't mention it. But don't blame you for thinking it.

More miss marple these days

More miss marple these days