Horrid texts about me on MILs phone, should I say something

[Raspberryberetthekindyoufind]

DH, DS (five) are on holiday abroad with inlaws and I have no signal on my phone so I borrowed MILs phone to ring my mum as it’s her birthday today. As I was about to make the phone call a message from SIL (we hate each other) came through saying “I am glad the stupid bitch is not spoiling it this year for you all”
So wanting to know what this was about I did check MILs messages only to find many messages to SIL saying “thank gods the fits have “stayed away” this year” and “the lazy cow is pulling her weight this year” then messages back from SIL saying “it’s his fault he knew when he marriages her she had them” and “don’t know how he puts up with her”
Back story last year we went away and I had quite a few seizures (I am epileptic) and for two days I was completely floored and was told by DH to either sleep inside or just stay on the sunbed. I did have about five other seizures which knocked me out for a hour or so.
There is also a message on the phone to MILs best friend saying the same things she has messaged to SIL with best friend replying back “glad your holiday is not ruined this year”
I just feel like shit now and dont know what to do. If the message had not popped up from SIL I would never have checked MILs phone. I don’t know what to do I felt so guilty last year and MIL and FIL kept saying “it’s ok” and “don’t worry you cant help it”.
I now know MIL was prob slagging me off to all in sundry about her wrecked holiday. I know for a fact DH stayed with them the whole time last year with DS and left them in peace by the pool one of the days I was out of it and took DS to the beach
Feel like total shit I don’t know if I should say something now, tell DH, wait till we get home or just leave it

OP, think you've dealt with it admirably so far!

I would tell your DH - I'd definitely want to know if my DW had seen similar from my DSis/DM.

If he wants to then take this further, it's up to him.

As for you - I wouldn't make any further fuss. Dignity is the way forward. That's not to say you have to make any effort with MIL - just wait for her to make the next move.

Concentrate on making the most of the rest of your holiday with DS (and DH, if he's amenable).

Then when you get home, if MIL hasn't said anything, just cut them off, and never holiday with them again.

I’m afraid I have little experience of epilepsy, but is stress is a potential trigger for you? If so, may be wise to put your husband on the picture?

PLEASE tell your DH, you need support on this ASAP! Feel very sorry for you, what a nightmare..!

I would definitely tell your DH. He needs to know as things will be different from this point and he needs to be fully informed as to why.

Also if he doesn’t know it gives your MIL & SIL the opportunity to make up stuff to get him on side.

Be ready for what she does next. Now she knows you know, she’ll ratchet it up a notch and your name will be mud.
Show your sh the texts as soon as possible.

Yup tell your husband now

wow what a pair of vile cows, glad you made her sweat a bit.

you absolutely must tell you DH, not sure why you wouldn't, if he already knows there is something up its not really fair to him to make him worry, and why should you carry the stress alone

What a coward, and SIL sounds as toxic as hell, what sister would want to keep her brother all to herself, she sounds weird. Yes tell your dh, now that your MIL knows.

So she's not even mortified and apologising? I'd been done. You'll be well-rid of the lot of them. Please just tell your H and go home.

Well handled so far by you.

I would tell your husband, whilst you are there. He deserves to know. They are being horrid about you because of epilepsy? Who does that? I'm not one for all out rows but I would want him to understand why my mood had changed and why I didnt want to go on holiday with them ever again.

I would also make everyone drinks tonight and piss in the mother in laws margarita.

Absolutely tell your DH.

Please do not allow her the importance of having a secret from your dh. Tell him while she is absent.

Daniel

That's awful.

I would tell DH, but I wouldn't tell MIL you read the other messages. You've made the point, she knows you know but if you admit to snooping MIL and SIL will make it all about this. The original text told you enough, the snooping confirmed it. Don't give them the opportunity to turn it around. I'd cool things a bit. Only have DC in their company when DH or you are present. MIL and SIL will know but won't come right out and ask because if they do they'll have to explain it all to DH. Obviously if they aren't bothered by that then all bets are off.

You've handled it well, given how awful the situation is.

Daniel

I bet she's got a headache, she'll be frantically calling sil and deleting messages, I'd tell your dh. How much longer have you got till you go home. Fingers crossed her headache will mean she stays in bed or decides to go home. Do you get on with fil.

Agree with Candy. Not good to read the rest. And I really don’t understand all those pushing for drama between the Dh and his family. Just withdraw now you know they have problems with you and concentrate on your good relationships.

You handled that brilliantly. Well done.

Oh dear. I hope she's not ruining everyone's holiday with her headaches ...

Don't let her ruin your holiday, you don't need the stress. If you and your own family are enjoying yourselves just keep out of her way, don't bother trying to speak to her about it, just pretend she's not there.

You’ve handled it beautifully. Now tell your DH.

I don't think people are pushing for drama. I think her DH needs to be aware how horrible these people are being about his DW.
My MIL was an arse, my XH thought I was imaging it all.
When he remarried his DW saw straight through her immediately, and put a stop to all the snide little remarks.

I agree about telling your DH. He's clearly very caring and is concerned about what's going on - is it fair not to?

You handled that really well - well done!

You do need to tell your dh, but you need to think carefully about WHEN to tell him. You’re the only one who can judge this.

Please talk to your dh, I think he sounds like a decent bloke and his love/support/standing by you is what you need right now. After a seizure not only do I ache for days I’m also mentally fucked, very emotional and embarrassed and worried that whoever I’m around is angry with me. I know you haven’t had a seizure this holiday but you’re being scrutinised for having an illness you cannot control, your dh needs to see what his mum and sister are like. I’d never wish any illness on anyone and god forbid your mil or sil ever develop a life long condition by your dh needs to know what is being said about you by his family.

Hope you’re ok