Horrid texts about me on MILs phone, should I say something

[Raspberryberetthekindyoufind]

DH, DS (five) are on holiday abroad with inlaws and I have no signal on my phone so I borrowed MILs phone to ring my mum as it’s her birthday today. As I was about to make the phone call a message from SIL (we hate each other) came through saying “I am glad the stupid bitch is not spoiling it this year for you all”
So wanting to know what this was about I did check MILs messages only to find many messages to SIL saying “thank gods the fits have “stayed away” this year” and “the lazy cow is pulling her weight this year” then messages back from SIL saying “it’s his fault he knew when he marriages her she had them” and “don’t know how he puts up with her”
Back story last year we went away and I had quite a few seizures (I am epileptic) and for two days I was completely floored and was told by DH to either sleep inside or just stay on the sunbed. I did have about five other seizures which knocked me out for a hour or so.
There is also a message on the phone to MILs best friend saying the same things she has messaged to SIL with best friend replying back “glad your holiday is not ruined this year”
I just feel like shit now and dont know what to do. If the message had not popped up from SIL I would never have checked MILs phone. I don’t know what to do I felt so guilty last year and MIL and FIL kept saying “it’s ok” and “don’t worry you cant help it”.
I now know MIL was prob slagging me off to all in sundry about her wrecked holiday. I know for a fact DH stayed with them the whole time last year with DS and left them in peace by the pool one of the days I was out of it and took DS to the beach
Feel like total shit I don’t know if I should say something now, tell DH, wait till we get home or just leave it

It is sad that neither your MIL or SIL have any empathy with your illness or understanding of the disruption seizures cause in your life.

I think I'm in love with your Dh, and a little bit with FIL.

Well played OP.

Foxsox it is nearly always the church do gooders that are the worse. Hide under a 'Christian' image. I am so happy your FIL and DH have your back, what a vile pair. I bet that if MIL was in the same position as you, she would be snooping. Yes op should have asked MIL if she could use her phone, yes she should have snooped, but everything happens for a reason, and its good that she found out what a nasty two faced individual, MIL is. At least to SIL credit, you know where you stand.

I’m glad that DH and FIL are being supportive, I have a feeling that your relationship with MIL will never recover from this though.

Forget about the thread on the sex life issue, it happens, we have other threads other issues and they resolve. Don’t feel guilty, it’s life.

Well it seems that she is determined to spoil her own holiday doesn't it? I'm assuming she's mortified with embarrassment and doesn't know how to climb down gracefully. Silly woman.

To be fair, it's hard to see a graceful way to climb out of MIL's particular tree.

Mil is doing the right thing keeping a low profile, deep down, she knows she's wrong and can't get back from it. No point apologising, as it won't be genuine. good thing is you have DH and Fil on your side, whilst she on her own.

I think the people saying OP snooped the phone are really unfair ... the message popped up !!!! .... also MIL must be a bit dim to lend out her phone with those messages on !!!!

Hands up who wouldn't look (at it and other ones) if that message popped up?

Obviously MIL and Sil have both joined Mumsnet to follow the story having been alerted by The Sun.

MIL is clearly either ashamed of herself now or feeling like a victim. I am glad she has sulked off.

Oooh you have some good men in your life. I’m so pleased they stuck up for you.

Well played.

I would definitely have read everything.

To be fair, it's hard to see a graceful way to climb out of MIL's particular tree

It is. But a sincere apology would be a good place to start. Certainly better than hiding in her room.

MIL is clearly either ashamed of herself now or feeling like a victim. I am glad she has sulked off

I bet it's a mixture of the too. In her heart of hearts she'll be ashamed but to cover up she'll be playing the victim too

so instead of apologising and being mortified, she is trying to turn it round on you, what a truly vile piece of shit she is. No doubt her and SIL are going to blame you again for ruining the holiday. I would go no contact with her, and would make sure ds was never with her or sil alone

Obviously MIL and Sil have both joined Mumsnet to follow the story having been alerted by The Sun.

Well, in case they have - You should be ashamed of yourselves you nasty women. I hope you have your apologies ready, and that they are heartfelt. What are you, 14 year old schoolchildren? Grow up and stop being so horrible - because you can bet that these things always come back to bite you on the bum - and you definitely reap what you sow.

Yes they know that you have read the texts through MN/ the Sun but can't say that because they also know that they have been massively slated on here. Your dh knows anyway and doesn't care. FIL is a nice person and can see that MIL is so far in the wrong and that you couldn't help but see the first text. Sit tight and enjoy the rest of your holiday.

OP have you told your DH about the sex life thread? I'm just thinking if they are reading this they may flag it up to your DH and shit stir against you as you have mentioned it on here.

Your DH sounds lovely OP. He really had got your back. I feel sorry for your FIL, he also sounds nice.
This will be hard on them but they know it's not you.

Perhaps SiL & MiL could use this as an opportunity to find out more about epilepsy and the fact that it is not just the seizures that affect the sufferer but the post seizure effects,

I don't have epilepsy but I was a first aider at work and one of my colleagues was and had to sit with her until she was well enough to go home, in a work supplied taxi, as she was always too drained to continue working

Tbh if someone I knew slagged off their daughter in law for having an epileptic fit, I would think less of THEM.

Mil really is a bitch.

OP. I’m really glad your husband and FIL supported you, but what you do need is NOT an apology (it won’t be sincere), what you need is to remember what are you going against and protect your family from such hate.

My MIL is listed as a reason for my divorce and my SIL... is not allowed to come to my door without risking being arrested. (Honestly, we are a well to do family, no Jeremy Kyle types) but I just put up with the bitchiness again and again on the excuse that they were family.

My exH’s partner, on the other hand, knowing the story, closed the door in their faces at the first sign of nastiness. They are seem to be very happy having no contact with the in laws.

I often wonder how my life would have been if I had protected myself and my family straight on rather than let my relationship erode with so much nastiness (and the misery they put me through)

Perhaps SiL & MiL could use this as an opportunity to find out more about epilepsy and the fact that it is not just the seizures that affect the sufferer but the post seizure effects,

It is not even just seizure & post seizure effects. In some people it causes issues with focus & concentration in their everyday life, memory problems, anxiety and a whole list of side affects of what is very strong medication. It is not just during seizures that problems for sufferers arise.

What a couple of bitches.
Next time just take fil away. He can have a rest from his spiteful wife.

She'll be sitting in her room desperately trying to think of a way to make this your fault.