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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Horrid texts about me on MILs phone, should I say something

547 replies

Raspberryberetthekindyoufind · 02/07/2018 08:08

DH, DS (five) are on holiday abroad with inlaws and I have no signal on my phone so I borrowed MILs phone to ring my mum as it’s her birthday today. As I was about to make the phone call a message from SIL (we hate each other) came through saying “I am glad the stupid bitch is not spoiling it this year for you all”
So wanting to know what this was about I did check MILs messages only to find many messages to SIL saying “thank gods the fits have “stayed away” this year” and “the lazy cow is pulling her weight this year” then messages back from SIL saying “it’s his fault he knew when he marriages her she had them” and “don’t know how he puts up with her”
Back story last year we went away and I had quite a few seizures (I am epileptic) and for two days I was completely floored and was told by DH to either sleep inside or just stay on the sunbed. I did have about five other seizures which knocked me out for a hour or so.
There is also a message on the phone to MILs best friend saying the same things she has messaged to SIL with best friend replying back “glad your holiday is not ruined this year”
I just feel like shit now and dont know what to do. If the message had not popped up from SIL I would never have checked MILs phone. I don’t know what to do I felt so guilty last year and MIL and FIL kept saying “it’s ok” and “don’t worry you cant help it”.
I now know MIL was prob slagging me off to all in sundry about her wrecked holiday. I know for a fact DH stayed with them the whole time last year with DS and left them in peace by the pool one of the days I was out of it and took DS to the beach
Feel like total shit I don’t know if I should say something now, tell DH, wait till we get home or just leave it

OP posts:
DragonBone · 02/07/2018 21:46

MIL has lit her own Contact Papar and watching it fire around her - stay strong OP

FuckPants · 02/07/2018 21:47

Well, the MIL will have a migraine if she reads The Sun Grin

MyOtherProfile · 02/07/2018 21:58

Has the Sun told this story? Grin

PattiStanger · 02/07/2018 22:24

Has The Sun got in in for you OP - I hope no one recognises you from this one

SoddingUnicorns · 02/07/2018 22:27

Oh no! Report it OP and get it taken down just in case

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 02/07/2018 22:28

You having seizures ruined their holiday? How charmingly empathic of them.

ToadsforJustice · 02/07/2018 22:43

Oh dear.

Thegirlwithnousername · 02/07/2018 22:51

Its already in the sun website

www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/6677238/mumsnet-mother-in-law-horrid-texts/

ilovesooty · 02/07/2018 22:59

Well the Sun story isn't unsympathetic at all to the OP and has a lot less detail than there is on this thread.

Zephyrsinskyatnight · 02/07/2018 23:01

Im so pleased your lovely FIL and DH supported you. They rock.

BitOutOfPractice · 02/07/2018 23:15

So has she apologised?

DevilsDoorbell · 02/07/2018 23:25

How awful for you. What a pair of bitches.

She may well apologise but you know damn well she doesn’t mean it and will no doubt continue the bitching.

I’m glad your dh is supporting you

KeiTeNgeNge · 02/07/2018 23:31

I’d get the thread deleted

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 02/07/2018 23:42

"I'd get this thread deleted"

There's no use in that, is there. The horse has already bolted.

dundermiflin · 03/07/2018 02:32

Glad your dh stuck up for you.

I'd go nc with them on return home.
Sorry they said such awful things op. You didn't deserve any of it. Epilepsy is a tough thing to deal with. My dad had it and it made his life very difficult.

stayathomer · 03/07/2018 03:31

Id say wait til you're home then tell dh

byanyothernamerose · 03/07/2018 04:14

Are you going to go NC op? I would, I just don't think I could maintain a relationship with someone like that..

foxssoxareinthebox · 03/07/2018 04:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

emmyrose2000 · 03/07/2018 05:16

It's good to see that the men in your family have some integrity, because it's clear the female inlaws don't.

An apology from MIL would be meaningless and insincere and not worth the time of day. I wouldn't accept it and I would go NC with both her and SIL.

AgentJohnson · 03/07/2018 05:20

I understand why you are hurt but.... I would mess with her head. In her presence I would exclaim that you are glad that your seizures hadn’t ruined this years holiday for her and that ‘I must remember to pull my weight and not be a lazy cow’. Don’t forget to mention that you have a tendency to forget the finer details and screenshot everything as a matter of course.

Making it clear that you know what she’s being saying but knowing that she won’t out herself by admitting anything. Watch her squirm and then when you get bored of torturing her, put her out of her misery by ditching the bitch.

sonjadog · 03/07/2018 05:28

These final days will be awkward.

Tinkie25 · 03/07/2018 06:14

wow you have a great DH and FIL

Any apology will be false. I would cut all contact with MIL and SIL.

Raspberryberetthekindyoufind · 03/07/2018 07:14

Bloody sun, that’s the second thread they have reported on for me. Arrggghhh
Anyway
MIL came down last night and accused me to snooping through her phone. DH pointed out that she was the one who drew attention to the other messages herself. She stormed off
Later DH said to me “you must have read all the messages as I would have if it had been about me”
I admitted I had and he grinned and said I had played it very well.

I feel really guilty as a started a thread complaining about DH and our crap sex life a bit ago but since I have addressed it with him he has been fantastic.

I have just seen FIL walking through reception and he says MIL will be staying in her room today and gave me a hug

OP posts:
BrioLover · 03/07/2018 07:19

It sounds like your DH is a bit of a diamond OP! Clearly cut from FIL's cloth eh?

Wishfulmakeupping · 03/07/2018 07:27

Yes your Dh and fil sound so supportive op good on them both. Mil is a coward by the sounds of it and she’s probably got sil in her ear with a defensive script... but you know you are in the right let her hide away you enjoy the rest of your holiday.