to find it hard to talk about race/racism as a black woman without feeling like I'm 'playing the race card'

[CalliopeSparkles]

Sorry if this isn't the most eloquently put post. I read some of the threads on here where people seem to know so much about their subject, it's a little intimidating at times (not a bad thing) so will do my best to get my point across!

I am a mixed race woman. Black and Caucasian. Recently saw a clip of George the Poet during a search:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BkmV6viAfz3/?utmsource=iggsharesheet&igshid=1ilippwo0ufby

Nothing we haven't seen before!

My dad is a runner and went out running one evening. He was pulled over by the police who asked to search him and his bag, saying he looked like a known criminal (he's a professional with a clean record, never broken a law in his life - other than simple ones like breaking the speed limit or not wearing a seatbelt). My brother was strip searched in a shopping mall once after someone thought he was shop lifting (he wasn't), my other brother lives in London, works for the BBC, clean record, and has been stopped and searched 4 times in 2 years, all for no reason (that he could tell anyway). These are all hurtful for me to hear and I know there is something wrong with this. If I've ever entered in to a discussion about it however it often turns in to people becoming defensive, trying to defend why the searches might have been done, and a refusal to see an issue. I believe that most people in this world are good, and kind, and are in no way bigoted or racist, however why is it so hard for some people to simply admit that racism does exist? It's almost like it's taken as a personal insult at times, even though I am as explanatory and unbiased as can be in my discussion.

The last straw for me was the other day when my whole office was in total uproar about a crime stoppers report regarding a white male that was called a 'cracker' by two black men. This is awful racist behaviour, however the anger is never there when it's the every day 'normal' racism we hear about towards ethnic minorities.

AIBU to think that there IS a problem and to be frustrated when trying to discuss it with those who won't engage unless it's their own race that's affected?

As the allegation was made there was no need to check cctv. It is grounds under PACE to search. . It may surprise all to know that CCTV doesn't always cover every inch of a store, or isn't always available for playback...

@Buster72 you are in or work with the Police Force right? You're missing the point of the whole thread and focussing on one example I gave. It's quite funny!

Totally agree OP. I see & hear casual racism very often, and I’m white and have never experienced it personally so can only begin to imagine how it feels to be on the receiving end. Please please please DONT stop discussing it, education is key and those of us who don’t fully “get it” need to hear more from those who do x

I hate the fact no one wants to have conversations about this. We don’t necessarily need to agree, as our lived experiences are differently but we can look at the evidence and see there are parts of society we racism.

When I was 18 I got married to a Pakistani Muslim, up till then I lived in a bubble thinking racism was in the past. Needless to say my opinion was soon changed, and I didn’t experience this just from white people.

I think whilst hierarchy of every race can cause division they will to hide their own agenda.

Thanks @Strumpetpumpet - refreshing comment! I don't talk about it much to be honest because it's exhausting. But you're right, I should.

(american) police thought that they were doing well catching lots of criminals by focussing on certain, just happen to be black areas, and how their conviction rate proved the point. But they did no comparable heavy policing approach in a simailrly poor white area. So it simply proved that if you dig deep enough you will find some kind of criminal. Sloppy logic

If the police asked me for my details I'd give them they are the police fgs.

@Bobobobobob if the police pulled you over, established that you were not the person they were looking for, but asked for your details anyway as you were out late, you'd give them? You know you can, in this instance, refuse to give your details legally? I absolutely wouldn't give the police my details if they asked them but have no valid reason for doing so!

You would find it hard to track down a white woman whose brothers and father had been stopped and searched, strip searched for false allegations of theft, stopped on an evening run for looking like a criminal. The examples I used are not an extensive list, there have been many, many more occasions.

Actually many years ago I was in a department store and accused of theft and strip searched by the police . I was innocent too I'm sorry it happened to your brother, it's not a very nice experience. I am Caucasian.

Not trying to be funny. Just trying to explain why a thing may have happened to allay your fears.

Yes, I hear you. I’m a professional black woman, married to a white man, and experience it all too frequently. Never mind that I am in the top 1% of earners and at the top of my game, career wise. None of it seems to matter to some people.

@73kittycat73 my post implied that you wouldn't find many Caucasian people who would've experienced all of these things and more throughout their entire teenage/adult life. Are you saying that this happened to you, and your brothers, and your father regularly? Or are you saying that this happened to you once?

@Noviceoftheweek all too common sadly.

There is racism in every country and I believe we are one of the most diverse and inclusive countries in the world.

I am Caucasian and have lived in a few countries. In the Middle East where the racism towards other middle eastern and Asian nationalities is shocking. In japan, an extremely non- diverse country, thirds and fourth generation Brazilians are treated like second class citizens. As a Caucasian I have been treated like some strang being, stared at, pinched, had my strangely large ( for a Japanese person) breasts commented on and grabbed at but not experienced severlely negative racism in fairness.

I am just saying in the grand scheme of things the uk really isn’t all that bad.

I suspect that if we did a quick poll amongst ourselves we would find that the probability of being stopped by police for any reason was much lower if you are white. Yes innocent white people do get stopped and questioned , but not at the same rate as coloured people.

Racism exists. I didn't realise how many people would dismiss it -again thanks OP, it's educating.

I'm sorry CalliopeSparkles, I didn't mean to upset/offend you. I was trying to sympathise with your brother! I thought I'd better put in my race as I didn't want to mislead anyone. I'm sorry for the experiences your family have had, I hope you don't think I was trivialising them?

@Allegorical sorry you've experienced racism. Your experience as a Caucasian and a Japanese woman sounds truly awful.

Using horrific racism in one country to minimise racism in another however is not something I can agree with.

I’m Black woman. And I drive an pretty expensive sports car that’s onlya year old prior to that I’ve driven similar style 2 seater sports cars
I’ve never been pulled over at all
In fact I’ve never ever beeen stopped or questioned by the police at all in my entire life . Apart from when we were burgled a few years ago.

My son is mixed race. When he was driving his first car typical boy racer type with tinted windows and a booming stereo and often late at night as he works nights he was always pulled over to the point that the police put a marker on his car to say that pulling him over was not necessary . He was always polite and never had a problem with the police .
How he has a more sensible car he’s not pulled over at all

My husband who is white gets stopped several times a year because to be fair he looks as dodgy as fuck and not the sort of person to be driving a very expensive car He wears baseball hats and a 10k watch but looks like a dodgy fucker but she not

When he drives his Volvo SUV he never ever gets stopped

Yep. I hear you. Don’t have anything useful to contribute, but I hear you.

I’m on a little one woman Wiki-a-thon regarding Black women at the moment too. Not much, but every little helps.

I am just saying in the grand scheme of things the uk really isn’t all that bad.

No, it's not the worse country for you, because you're white. Other countries are bad for you and you've obviously experienced and witnessed some shocking things. But as a white person in the UK, there's a lot you don't see that's happening to black people daily here.

I don’t get why anyone would be offended by the word ‘cracker,’ to be honest.

I think some people struggle because they can’t possibly believe that a black man would be searched because of his skin colour. We project our own feelings on to the police officer; ‘I would never feel that way, so surely you must be mistaken.’ Depending on the area you were raised, you might not witness much racism. I’ve been lucky enough not to. I was raised for part of my childhood in the West Indies and experience some but it was harmless and towards the whites on the island. However, it would be stupid and ignorant to believe that awful racist crimes don’t go on.

There’s also the people who look for racism everywhere; I find this more racist, to be honest. They’re usually the white, PC type, who feel the need to apologise for all white people’s wrongdoings and create uproar from a harmless catalogue picture, for example. I find this type of racism worse than blatant name calling.

Enoying the 3 or so posters on the thread who are so brilliantly proving your point!

I am just saying in the grand scheme of things the uk really isn’t all that bad

I’ve lived in 6 countries and the Uk has been the worst one for me so far.

@Ansumpasty There’s also the people who look for racism everywhere; I find this more racist, to be honest. They’re usually the white, PC type, who feel the need to apologise for all white people’s wrongdoings and create uproar from a harmless catalogue picture, for example. I find this type of racism worse than blatant name calling.

A great example of this was when someone told Katie Price her son had a good tan. Lots of white people offended by this and lots of black people commenting reminding people that black people can tan too. Entertainment at its finest!

I remember reading a thread on MN last year about a white woman with mixed race kids at her GP's reception, an old man made a derogatory remark about her kids and her selling her self short for been with a black man, and the receptionist apparently joined in too - jokingly.

The response to that thread made my blood boil, so much i refrained from contributing. A lot of people played it down, saying the perpetrator, presumably was old and "oldschool" and "things were different in those days", "my DM, DD talk like that and don't mean it "

Racism is rife, and it happens on a daily basis! A lot of the victims are "used to it" and often times just "get on with life", because the biggest challenge for them are the social constructs that we have in place.