About being given food I can't eat?

[BurpeesAreTheWorkOfTheDevil]

I was invited out for the dat, the deal was I sorted out dinner and they sorted tea.

I made a big (6 people) picnic with plenty of food for everyone that they liked.

They bought fish and chips for everyone.

I can't eat fried food, they know this and I don't eat meat or fish.

The choice was eat it or go without.

Aibu to think that's not fair because the other person thinks they kept their side of the deal by providing food.

It doesn't matter whether it was 6 adults there together or one adult doing the run - whoever bought the food knew of the OPs dietary requirements.
It doesn't matter whether it was an ex or a friend, they were being unreasonable.
It doesn't matter whether her dietary requirement is ethical, medical or preference.
It doesn't fucking matter what her meals are called.

OP is not being unreasonable.

Yanbu
What is also annoying is that you went to a lot of trouble to make food and ex h just strolled to the chipper and put his hand in his wallet.
Don't go anywhere with him again. Does he have the kids ever or do you have them all the time?

Oh and I also think the drip feed was reasonable there!

Sounds like a bonkers plan in the first place to me - they invite you out and then say you’ve got to provide dinner. Cheeky fuckers.

Do you usually get on OK?

Can't help wondering why you went tbh.

Just to add to the naming of meals debate
"The naming of meals is a serious matter" (with apologies to T.S.Eliot!)

Take this as a learning experience, was yours to never to go out as a 'family' again, remember he is your EX for a reason.

Next time he WILL learn how to manage his 4 children all day as you will not be available to 'help' again.

Well changing 'ex partner' into 'friend' certainly didn't make the situation read more neutrally. Nor did nit mentioning that the other 4 people were your shared children. In fact, most of your replies are based on why a friend might not respect your dietary needs/wants.

Frankly, now knowing that this is an ex and the others are your children, it's fairly clear that he's catered for himself and the kids as they are who he feels a duty to and he doesn't respect you.

Changing the story slightly only works if you'd get similar responses to what you'd get for the actual situation.

OP is not being unreasonable

No she isn't. But the fact it was an ex and not 'friends' changes the situation from an outsiders point of view. She originally presented it as 'friends' doing this to her which really is quite shocking. She then finally drip feeds that this was an ex, but this fact provides a plausible reason for the nastiness in not providing an edible meal. It wasn't right the ex did this but I assume he is a ex for a bloody good reason!

What a bizarre post.not honest

It wasn't "friends". It was one person- your ex. And the other "friends" are your 4 children.

Let's get real... he's your ex for a reason.

Of course he doesn't give a flying fart

I think the drip feed changes things a bit. If four children and the ex wanted fish and chips, I don't really see the problem with that. He probably should have got the OP something she could eat, but I don't see why everyone should miss out on fish and chips because the OP doesn't want it. When you're a family, don't you negotiate on meals? I don't really like sausages, but DS loves them, so we have them every so often.

Is he normally such s twat?

It's not because she doesn't want it it's because she can't eat it.

As for takeaway food that is not fried - chicken shish kebab!

DH has severe coronary heart disease and while he has had a stent put in, the plaque furring up his arteries has not gone away - so he is advised to take statins and keep away from fatty, fried food to keep his cholesterol right down!

If I want chips from the chip shop, I always offer to get him a kebab!

Sorry, I forgot OP is a vegetarian - I would have gone to the Chinese and got a dish with tofu! Stir frying is quite healthy, because actually they should not use much oil - bit I don't know if that is too much oil for OP?

If friends had done this I'd think it was mean and nasty and we wouldn't be friends much longer. The fact that it's an ex makes everything clear. He fed himself and the kids, and doesn't give a crap about you (which is presumably why he's an ex). Let him cope on his own in future.

Sort of depends on WHY you can't eat fried food.

If it's because you don't like it, or are watching your diet etc then I don't think it's unreasonable to buy something that the other 5 like.

He went off for a walk - probably one of the kids said "ooooo dad look- there's a chippy, can we have that please?"

MissWimpy - OP already said she would be in pain all night and the next day from eating fried food.

No it doesn't matter why op won't eat fried food, not at all. She doesn't eat fried food, ex knows that but has tried to force her to do it anyway or go hungry.

Next time, tell him he can provide food for himself and children(both meals) and you will cater for yourself.

I read 6 pages of a thread to find out it isn't "friends" but an ex partner and children who should know their ex partner's and mother's dietary requirements.

The fact they ignored it means the ex did it out of spite and the children acted out of selfishness.

Children didn't go with him. OP stayed with them while he went to get chips. He's a bastard and knows full well you'd not be able to eat it.

YANBU I've fallen in this hole. 'You bring the cakes for after lunch and I'll bring a trifle for after dinner' OK. Home made cakes (and plenty) from me, cheap small supermarket trifle from them. Don't get caught by them again.

So being your ex he should know how ill eating fried food makes you. Sounds like he was being vindictive to me!

@MidniteScribbler

When you're a family, don't you negotiate on meals? I don't really like sausages, but DS loves them, so we have them every so often.

They did negotiate. The agreement was OP provides picnic for dinner/lunch and ex provides tea. He didn't fulfil his side of the deal.

Presumably you're not sick all night and the next day when you have sausages? Because that's what fried food does to OP.

And presumably if you really don't fancy sausages you can have something else? That option wasn't given to OP.

If i had specific dietry requirements, i would have checked beforehand what they were getting for dinner. People are a bit clueless when it comes to stuff like that - and it's rarely malicious.