Page 4 | About being given food I can't eat?

BurpeesAreTheWorkOfTheDevil · 2018-07-01T10:15:25+00:00

I was invited out for the dat, the deal was I sorted out dinner and they sorted tea. I made a big (6 people) picnic with plenty of food for everyone that they liked. They bought fish and chips for everyone. I can't eat fried food, they know this and I don't eat meat or fish. The choice was eat it or go without. Aibu to think that's not fair because the other person thinks they kept their side of the deal by providing food.

BertrandRussell · 01/07/2018 13:37

"And I still don't understand why anyone with any dietary requirements wouldn't ask, at some point, "I don't mind doing the picnic, but what are you planning for the evening?""
Because amongst friends you shouldn't need to.

Shumpalumpa · 01/07/2018 13:38

Why should OP have to ask when the friends know she doesn't eat meat, fish or fried food?

I don't expect my vegetarian friends to remind me they're vegetarians!

OliviaStabler · 01/07/2018 13:48

And I still don't understand why anyone with any dietary requirements wouldn't ask, at some point, "I don't mind doing the picnic, but what are you planning for the evening?"

I have a feeling that they knew full well she couldn't eat it and simply didn't care, even if she reminded them. Their needs trumped hers.

Bet they ate her food as well.

KurriKurri · 01/07/2018 13:55

It doesn;t matter why she is a vegetarian and it doesn't matter why she doesn't eat fried food. Her friends know she doesn't and that is enough - it is nt up to them to decide for her that she can have it just this once. If you didn't like a food, or maybe alcohol, and someone deliberately bought it for you because they felt you should eat or drink it would youthink thatw as Ok or rude.

Sometimes people don't want to go into details of why they can't eat certain things, because they are private or medical. But equally even if it a preference, no one has to justify that. It is simple enough to find food that is not fish and chips for someone who has made it clear they do not eat fish or friend food.

And no a pickled egg and some mushy peas is not an alternative. OP made a nice picnic for dinner why should she get some kind of token food for her tea? Who TF on the planet wants a pickled egg ? A different shop that sells a variety of suitable items is an alternative.

FreeMantle · 01/07/2018 14:06

You can get salt and vinegar sachets

No one going to the chippy for six people is not going to ask what people want.
"Salt and vinegar?" is a question you know you'll be asked and as her friends knew in advance they had to get tea in they would have asked.
And if they did het sachets they obviously recognise that people have different preferences.

So I don't think it happened but was maybe a suggestion the op didn't like.

ToEarlyForDecorations · 01/07/2018 14:10

I'm curious as to what was on the lunchtime picnic menu. It was a lot of volume for six, i.e. 6 x salad, 6 x bread, 6 x crisps etc etc etc. That's before all the cups, plates, plastic knives and forks are supplied.

OP, would you please enlighten us as to what you provided please.

BertrandRussell · 01/07/2018 14:12

"OP, would you please enlighten us as to what you provided please."

Why is this remotely relevant?

ToEarlyForDecorations · 01/07/2018 14:27

OP, would you please enlighten us as to what you provided please."

It just is.

A lot of vegans won't / can't touch meat or fish and sure as hell won't buy it, i.e. won't support intensive cattle farming.

How substantial were the portions because they were hungry enough to want fish and chips in the evening. Was tea at 6pm or 8pm or even 9 or 10pm ?

If the OP knew what each person liked, I'm just curious to know what was provided.

The evening meal of fish and chips rather sounds like they had to put up with her choice for lunch so she can put up with their choice for tea.

Had the OP had a nice time before all the fish and chips for tea saga blew up ?

KurriKurri · 01/07/2018 14:33

OP, would you please enlighten us as to what you provided please.

So you can pick it to pieces and somehow justify the friends' rudeness ? The details don't matter in any way - Op has said she did a big picnic with food for everyone that they liked . She knows her friends preferences and catered for them - they just didn't extend the same courtesy to her because they are rude buggers.

The evening meal of fish and chips rather sounds like they had to put up with her choice for lunch so she can put up with their choice for tea.

Only in your head.

Mummadeeze · 01/07/2018 14:36

They were v unreasonable. I was on a strict low carb diet, all my work colleagues knew this, and on my birthday they bought crisps, cakes and biscuits as a surprise for ‘me’ and then ate them all in front of me whilst I just stood there. I thought it was pretty mean that they didn’t buy peanuts or cheese or something I could eat in the mix!

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 01/07/2018 14:56

Because amongst friends you shouldn't need to.

Again, it depends! How close the friends are for a start, and also (and this is why the reason for the dietary requirements are important) it could be that OP changes her mind. It could be that OP had wrinkled her nose in disgust at 48 suggestions put forward and everyone else had thrown their hands up in despair. It might be that OP provided a lovely vegetarian picnic for someone who can't eat cheese...

The point is that this is only one side of the story, and I suspect it's nowhere near as black and white as the OP makes out.

Fluffyears · 01/07/2018 15:09

If dinner is midday/ish when do you have lunch?

ToEarlyForDecorations · 01/07/2018 15:10

The point is that this is only one side of the story, and I suspect it's nowhere near as black and white as the OP makes out.

This^

Great and glorious detail about the fish and chips that were purchased that the OP couldn't eat but curiously shy about what food she provided for six, yes SIX people for a picnic.

BertrandRussell · 01/07/2018 15:12

Oh stop being smart arse. Lots of people have dinner at mid day and tea in the evening. Can't bear " I can't possibly work the meaning out from context because I am a massive dick" posts.

RallyAnnie · 01/07/2018 15:16

I know there are regional variations behind what meals are called, but the term "brunch" seems pretty universal. It's midway between breakfast and lunch.

Otherwise it would be "brinner" in some parts of the country, surely?! Making lunch the only appropriate term for a meal eaten around the middle of the day.

pastabest · 01/07/2018 15:18

If dinner is midday/ish when do you have lunch?

At dinnertime?

Or do some people really take so little notice of anything outside of their own sphere of reference that they are genuinely unaware of regional preferences to call the midday meal either lunch or dinner.

Victoria Wood's 'Dinnerladies' must have been very confusing watching for them if so.

BertrandRussell · 01/07/2018 15:18

Picnic for 6 is easy. Assuming no dietary requirements, 2 French sticks one white one brown. Some salad, a Camembert and some ham. A punnet of strawberries, a bunch of grapes and some tomatoes. A cake, home made or otherwise. A kitchen roll and 6 knives. Sorted. Adjust for dietary requirements. Go posher until you reach your financial or skill limit.

pastabest · 01/07/2018 15:20

Can't bear " I can't possibly work the meaning out from context because I am a massive dick" posts

Which is what I wanted to say but decided to go for the more long winded passive aggressive approach

pieceofpurplesky · 01/07/2018 15:39

I am northern to the PP who explained it all to me so do I know. I misread the thread and didn't see tea.
Surely if it was such a big picnic there would be some left? Also surely they asked what people wanted from the chippy?

Still not nice though

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 01/07/2018 15:40

School dinners are served in afternoon, dinner lady.it all points to dinner = an afternoon meal

ChaffyMcChaff · 01/07/2018 15:45

@pieceofpurplesky you know perfectly well what the OP means! Why are you being so divisive and rude? You're no 'better' because you say 'lunch' you know 🙄 (and yes, your comment absolutely implies that you think you are!)

ShapelyBingoWing · 01/07/2018 15:48

Again, it depends! How close the friends are for a start, and also (and this is why the reason for the dietary requirements are important) it could be that OP changes her mind. It could be that OP had wrinkled her nose in disgust at 48 suggestions put forward and everyone else had thrown their hands up in despair. It might be that OP provided a lovely vegetarian picnic for someone who can't eat cheese...

The point is that this is only one side of the story, and I suspect it's nowhere near as black and white as the OP makes out.

This ^ with bells on. In fact, I do wish the OP would return to provide some extra detail.

Jux · 01/07/2018 15:51

So they ate your food and used you for free childcare while they went off and enjoyed themselves and then failed to provide food for you when it was their turn.

Do they do anything for you at all?

I'm guessing they're relatives - your sister adn bil?

Shumpalumpa · 01/07/2018 15:52

ToEarly

Great and glorious detail about the fish and chips that were purchased that the OP couldn't eat

How on earth do you take 'they bought fish and chips for everyone' to be 'great and glorious detail abouut the fish and chips'

Firesuit · 01/07/2018 15:58

Or do some people really take so little notice of anything outside of their own sphere of reference that they are genuinely unaware of regional preferences to call the midday meal either lunch or dinner.

Dinner doesn't have a fixed time, which differs according to region, or family, or any other factor. If you look in a dictionary you'll find the word means "the main meal of the day."

When I was growing up dinner was at lunch-time when I was at boarding school, but in the evening when I was at home, except on Sundays, when it was at lunch-time again. This was not the word meaning different things, it always meant the same thing. It's just that the time of the thing it meant changed according to location and day of the week.

(We had two full cooked meals a day at boarding school, but you would have been able to tell that dinner was at lunch-time because only at lunch did we get dessert. If the extra course had been moved to the evening then that would have meant that was the more elaborate meal, and therefore the one that should be called dinner.)