About being given food I can't eat?

[BurpeesAreTheWorkOfTheDevil]

I was invited out for the dat, the deal was I sorted out dinner and they sorted tea.

I made a big (6 people) picnic with plenty of food for everyone that they liked.

They bought fish and chips for everyone.

I can't eat fried food, they know this and I don't eat meat or fish.

The choice was eat it or go without.

Aibu to think that's not fair because the other person thinks they kept their side of the deal by providing food.

Italic fail.

Lunch is at midday if it is a big cooked meal then it's dinner, dinner after 5 unless it is just sandwiches then it's tea supper about 9 is just a snack like cheese and biscuits I'm from the south

That’s too convoluted Suzy,all the caveats

There are certain things I don’t eat, but I don’t expect other people to remember or understand my food choices.

It’s annoying, but in the circumstances I would have just gone to buy something else.

Its weird though because surely if you were going to the chippy you’d ask what people wanted. I tend to have chicken rather than fish because it’s not battered - odd and rude to assume that everyone wants the same thing .

I do wonder about mumsnetter’s friendship groups. Would you all really just buy fish for a vegetarian friend and expect her either to eat it or go hungry?

They're twats, OP. Hope they know they fucked up?

IrmaFayLear

So you'd be happy that your friends came back and brought you a meal they knew you couldn't eat and you'd have to go hungry? Really?

If they all wanted fish and chips, fair enough but someone could have gone into a supermarket etc to buy something suitable for the OP to eat. It is basic courtesy and respect.

Would you all really just buy fish for a vegetarian friend and expect her either to eat it or go hungry?

I would certainly expect him/her to be more proactive about the food. Simply asking would have been a good start. It's not clear whether the OP's dietary needs are medical, ethical, faddy or just plain fussy.

It's not about the OP starving to death- it's about making a reciprocal arrangement with friends who refuse to fulfill their part by providing something edible for her. I'm sure if she'd have known their plan, she'd have often to bring an alternative for herself, but they just presented it to her as a done deal with no option to have something else.

It's not clear whether the OP's dietary needs are medical, ethical, faddy or just plain fussy.

I'm glad I don't have friend who decide whether or not to provide food for me based on their own opinions of whether my needs are deemed worthy enough. Given that the OP says fried food makes her ill, it's spectacularly thoughtless not to accommodate that.

“I would certainly expect him/her to be more proactive about the food. Simply asking would have been a good start. It's not clear whether the OP's dietary needs are medical, ethical, faddy or just plain fussy“

It doesn’t matter why she’s a vegetarian! Would you only cater fro a vegetarian friend if she was a vegetarian for reasons you approved of?

Do you have gallstones OP? I used to before I got my gallbladder out and would have been in serious pain for hours if I'd eaten fish and chips.

YANBU. Your friends were very selfish. You provided a lovely big lunch with lots of variety and then people are saying you should have just gone hungry for dinner? I think that's madness. And if your friends didn't know whether you had any dietary requirements or couldn't remember they should have asked.

OP held up her end of the bargain, the 'friends' didn't. It's as simple as that. They are not good friends.

Has anyone else noticed that Burpees provided a picnic for six people (presumably including themselves) with food suitable for everyones preferences. Which presumably was not cheap or quick to shop and/or prepare.

And in return the other party just went to the chippy which was quick, relatively cheap and not suitable for everyone’s preferences. Whether medical, taste or faddy at this point is irrelevant.

YANBU.

I've got family members who are vegetarian, a couple who are coeliac, a son who doesn't like chocolate/milk/ice cream or cream and a mum who is diabetic.

They all get catered for from special shops we call supermarkets...oh, wait, they have them all over the country now don't they and they are usually open until late other than Sundays.

Doesn't matter if it's a fad, medical or ethical, if you know someone doesn't eat something you work out with them beforehand what they can eat and get that. It's not for anyone to decide who is 'faddy' and who is genuine. As for it being hot - buy a cool bag, we're not exactly in the middle of the outback here!

Very rude friends OP - YDNBU.

Could you eat mushy peas or a pickled egg?

A pickled egg in return for a big spread for 6?

I don't believe it.

No one goes to the chippy for 6 people without asking what they want first. Even if it's just to ascertain who wants salt and vinegar.

Tinkobell No-one should eat a pickled egg. They are the fruit of satan's armpit

Yes, nothing nicer than dining on a pickled egg and a dish of mushy pea

You can get salt and vinegar sachets

expect him/her to be more proactive about the food

Arranging picnic food for a large group of people takes a lot more effort than picking up fish and chips. Fish and chips is an easy option for a meal, that works if and only if it suits everyone.

Anyone asking whether OP is 'just a faddy eater' is apart from anything else, missing the point that when it was OP's turn, put some effort in while the easy route was taken for the evening meal and it didn't work for OP. That's not fair, and in her position, i would not be prepared to do that again.

So your "friends" know you can't/won't eat fish and chips but did not bring you anything else.

I don't think they have considered you and your feelings - why are they your friends? Bet they have a history or there is a back story.

If it's just that you think batter is bad for you and there is no allergy etc then I could understand why they may have thought it was ok for a one-off.

Is there an allergy they know about and ignored?

It doesn’t matter why she’s a vegetarian!

I was responding more to the "can't eat fried food" tbh. And I still don't understand why anyone with any dietary requirements wouldn't ask, at some point, "I don't mind doing the picnic, but what are you planning for the evening?"