To have said this?

[MrsHappyAndMrCool]

So me and DS6 went to do a food shop this morning, he needed to go to the toilet so I took him into the ladies.

There was a lady in there with 3 girls, there was a little bit of silliness towards my son going on amongst the three girls whilst we waited for a cubicle to become free, which I ignored because I know girls can be very silly when it comes to things like this.

Then the biggest girl said “Mum why is there boy in here” very loudly, the mother then turnt to me and said “Couldn’t you have taken him into mother and baby or round the back of somewhere because he is making my daughters feel uncomfortable”

I am usually very good at ignoring people, I replied by saying “don’t be so pathetic you silly silly woman” a few more words were exchanged then I went on to tell her to stop embarrassing herself.

I feel a bit bad now, was IBU?

Six year old boy with you - fine! She was BVU.

Your response - unnecessarily rude. ‘He’s a little boy,” would have sufficed.

YANBU. I take my 5yo in with me to the ladies. He's not confident with the cubicle locks and he would probably end up locking himself in one.

But then I don't really care if a fully grown man wants to use the ladies toilets. I'm in a cubicle, I don't get the issue.

YWNBU whatsoever! I'd have hit the roof. Who does she think she is and why do her daughters feeling "uncomfortable" which I don't believe for a minute trump that your son was uncomfortable and needing the toilet? Little girls can honestly be the devil and that's coming from a mother of 1dd & 2ds haha! She had no right so don't feel bad. I'd have said a lot worse than you did lol.

MommaCinders that’s appalling!! At times adults are so quick to project imagined sexual rhetoric onto innocent situations. I work as a lunchtime supervisor and one of my colleagues (before my time unfortunately) decided to ban girls from doing cartwheels or hanging upside down from equipment because they were “showing their knickers”. These are 4-7 year olds. She managed to shame very young girls whilst at the same time implying that 4-7 year old boys may be either embarrassed by seeing girls pants or worse, express sexual feelings. How she copes with the notion of them all changing together for PE, I don’t know.

The other mother should not have spoken to you at all but simply explained to the daughters that he was in there because he is too young to go in men's on his own. Surely they have come across this before and will do again.

Well yeah, exactly @tempester. So weird that she didn’t know this happens all the time. Even her DDs would have seen this before at some point . There are some right oddballs about.

@MommaCinders
Whilst the man should not have shouted at your son, a 6 year old should know full well that climbing changing room walls and peeking over the top is utterly unacceptable. I would have been fuming at my son if he did that - thing is though he wouldn't.
Also, taking a 10 year old boy in to a female space (your earlier post) is also unacceptable.
You are teaching your son that he can do what suits him best, and sod the girls, which isn't really very good parenting.

@arethereanyleftatall

Two tips for you

1. Read properly
2. Don't ever judge someone else or call them a bad fucking parent cos I'll tell you now that's the sort of thing that gets you the exact sort of reaction that the OP gave the woman in this scenario

My son WASN'T peeking over the sides he was pretending to be spiderman as I said. The man in question saw him climbing and reacted to said situation in an appalling way towards a young boy and if you're going to call me a bad parent then when you discover your six year old has wet himself after having an encounter with an imposing adult man you still continue to be fuming at your son and not the man then maybe it is your parenting that should be questioned. As for my ten year old who I don't fancy standing out in a busy shopping mall on his own and he stands by the dryers out the way minding his own business how in fucks name is that bad parenting... If you saw me on the news that day saying my son had been abducted outside the women's toilets in a busy shopping centre because people are too damn sensitive about him standing in a room where there are cubicles that women urinate in and he is SAFE what would you say about my parenting then... We don't pee for all to see its a god damn cubicle the privacy that is NECESSARY is contained and sustained. What about unisex public toilets? What about disabled toilets? Standing outside the disabled toilet has no difference to standing outside a cubicle past the door that has 🚺 on it. As long as my child is safe people can say what they want because that is my priority as a GOOD parent!

I genuinely haven’t the inclination to try and read your last “paragraph”, but as a matter of interest @MommaCinders how old WILL be old enough to wait for you outside the ladies...?

@jacqueshammer

Sorry but I'm not even entertaining you because I've read the ridiculous comments you've left on this feed and you're just one of those people that enjoys debating with the mass majority... Aka keyboard warrior... So you won't draw anything out of me I'm afraid. You're white noise at this point

Ergo “I can’t answer”

Thought so

Rude. Sorry.

Your response - unnecessarily rude. ‘He’s a little boy,” would have sufficed.

but the woman could see he was a little boy? But was a dick to the OP anyway and acted like he shouldn’t be there...

YWNBU
Actually think you were quite restrained after being told to take your 6 yr old round the back - wtf does that actually mean? To have a wazz up a wall???

Anyway, I think the, "you silly, silly, woman" response was perfect. No swearing and she was being silly.

MommaCinders

At the risk of being subjected to a tsunami of abuse like the other posters who dared to question you:

Why the fuck did you leave a 6 year old alone? As you say, he could have opened the door to anyone?!

Well she was being very silly, typical mother of snowflake girls

Are you still here? Every thread I’ve seen you on you just drop in, say something profoundly offensive and then leave again. What satisfaction do you gain from such twattery?

No not "ergo" I can't answer I won't answer you @jacqueshammer there's a huge difference but you have a tendency to take aspects of what a person says and twist it to what you want it to mean... You should be a reporter. I do believe you have also sidelined away from what alot of people have said when they've cornered you on your own bs comments so you carry on entertaining yourself cos I haven't the slightest Interest in what you have to say.

@crispysausagerolls tsunami of abuse... Wow... Dramatic. I'm sorry I was just following suite on the people that have been unnecessarily abusive in this entire thread especially to the OP. I went to the toilet which was directly opposite his changing cubicle. I left him with the door locked and my father who is a police officer was in the waiting area outside the changing facility. What I agreeably didn't write correctly and meant by "this could've been a different story" was in a different scenario. But I can assure you that from that moment forward I made it very very clear that he only EVER open the door if you hear mummy's voice. Obviously as he got older he didn't necessarily need or want his mum in the same cubicle. But yeah in hindsight I could've done things differently.

YANBU, id have said worse.

@crispysausagerolls however I could argue that I left him alone because clearly six year old boys aren't allowed in women's public toilets.... It isn't but you see how after reading bollocks like the ops experience today how a six year old could end up in a much more dangerous situation all because of overly sensitive women about the presence of a young boy in womens toilets makes a mother feel like she's doing wrong by taking him in with her and leaves herself open to.... A tsunami of abuse

@MommaCinders
You've misunderstood, I didn't call you a bad parent, merely the two scenarios/actions you've detailed on this thread.
I do believe we have a duty to our children to teach them how to live in the adult world; to teach them independence, resourcefulness, how to risk assess. We need to teach them that whilst they are the most precious thing in the world to us, their parents; so are everyone else's to theirs. Their feelings are not more important than another's.
So, in your scenarios, a 10 year old should be able to stand in a mall and wait for five minutes. They should know not to walk off with a stranger. That is a different solution, and imo a better one, to keeping your child safe rather than teaching him that the rules don't matter for him (for he will know that 8 is the accepted cross over age).
In your second scenario, your ds doing something wrong followed by the man doing something wrong, your immediate first reaction was to have a go at the other parent. Again, don't worry son, do what you like, mummy'll fix it.

In your second scenario, your ds doing something wrong followed by the man doing something wrong, your immediate first reaction was to have a go at the other parent. Again, don't worry son, do what you like, mummy'll fix it.

He was going ballistic at the little boy. He didn’t just pull the mum over for a word, he had a full blown rant at a 6 year old Of course she’s going to defend her child!

As he was defending his daughter.

Yes and he can do that without ranting at a small child. A quick but firm “Stop doing that” would have sufficed, but the way he acted was totally unacceptable.

Honestly, I can’t say I wouldn’t have gone batshit if a child was climbing up the walls of the cubicle where my DD was changing.

I wouldn’t have been happy. I’d like to think I wouldn’t have scared a wee boy to the point he wet himself, but equally with no parent obviously nearby I would have told him straight to pack it in!