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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think it's rude of teachers at end of term declaring that they've earned their holiday/deserve a large glass of wine etc.....?

586 replies

Semisonic · 29/06/2018 23:46

Does it not imply that they think everyone's kids are little horrors and that it's such a hard job and we're not worthy?
Maybe all the kids are little horrors, maybe it is a hard job but they're getting paid for it. It was their choice! My job's hard too but I won't bang on about It.
I think it's quite insulting to the parents of the children. No? [hmmm]

OP posts:
Fluffyrainbows · 01/07/2018 11:41

I just find it odd that our society tends to reward itself with alcohol which is a drug. All this 'wine o clock', 'gin friday' etc you wouldn't say oh I'm off to reward myself with a cigarette or a big fat joint or a line of coke. If a teacher commented to me they'd earned a big drink, I'd think they were a bit sad to be honest.
Like any job I'd imagine the holidays are a welcome break. For me I love the change from daily school runs and homework and uniform washing. I don't have to comment to teacher staff how I deserve alcohol for making it to the end of term. Neither would I gift them alcohol as I really don't think it's appropriate. If it's a lovely teacher and my child wants to give them a little something then fine, but there's nothing right about a child giving a teacher alcohol. Although this view partly stems from a really nice school my kids were at who specified no end of year gifts. Compared to another school where collections took place and teachers were given £140 gift cards.
I realise I'm probably in the minority and I certainly am very grateful for good teachers but I just don't get this whole culture of gifting alcohol as a reward for surviving our kids.

Shumpalumpa · 01/07/2018 11:51

I agree fluffy.

SoddingUnicorns · 01/07/2018 11:58

I don’t drink, but I can see why someone else would enjoy it. I’m not a moral non drinker, I just don’t like it. But if it’s my kids’ teacher’s treat of choice, I’ll happily buy it for them.

cantkeepawayforever · 01/07/2018 12:01

Fluffy, as a teacher, I agree.

I see no issue whatever with a teacher - or any worker, in any workplace - celebrating the start of a holiday or a key transition moment in their lives. I don't see that the form that 'should' take is alcohol use.

I would also ALWAYS prefer a short, handwritten note or card (and a really heartfelt face to face 'Thank you') to ANY gift a child or parent could give me.

Fluffyrainbows · 01/07/2018 12:08

@cantkeepawayforever that's lovely to hear, I always say to my younger ones what would they like to do, no pressure and often they want to write a little card or choose a little something (for example one chose a little hotel chocolate bunny that they like the look of) and write a little card saying why they really liked that teacher, and that to me seemed like a nice way to end the year. It just can seem a bit nothingy compared to everyone donating £10 or a large pile of gifts.

Sunnyjac · 01/07/2018 12:09

My husband teaches year 6 and was bitten recently by someone’s little darling. I think he will deserve his break

cantkeepawayforever · 01/07/2018 12:13

Fluffy, rest assured that the teacher will treasure those cards for years, long after any gifts have been forgotten!

MercedesDeMonteChristo · 01/07/2018 12:24

I say this every Friday, I am a PA.

LokiBear · 01/07/2018 12:25

I haven't read every page but, as a teacher, it isnt the kids I need a break from, it is the treadmill of working life amd the demands of the job. As a full time workimg mum, head of year and head of department, my term time life is so ridiculously organised it becomes monontonous. Working to a bell can be very frustrating. Im looking forward to a break and to enjoy the time with my kids. As for the kids I teach, I will miss them. As a head of year, I am fiercely protective of my lot, even the naughty ones.
They require the most from you but when it works the emotional reward is huge. However, the emotional toll can wipe you out. Watching then struggle and achieve is wonderful, watching them struggle and not quite make it is horrible. Watching social services return a child to an abusive home even after you've spent a year giving them every piece of evidence you have gathered over several years proving neglect, is both heartbreaking and soul destroying. I dont need a break from the kids, but I do need a rest from the job.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 01/07/2018 12:27

Sunnyjac a yr6?! Shock

twoshedsjackson · 01/07/2018 13:24

I've been retired for a while now, although still in contact with previous schools, and yes, I do still have the thank-you cards (and some of the gifts - especially the bonkers handmade ones).....when it's going well, it's the best job in the world, but like so many "escapees" I don't miss the pointless bureaucracy, the relentlessness of routine, you've heard it all before. I was always good and ready for the holidays, but that didn't mean a lack of respect for other people making their contributions to society; they've earned their holidays as well, and good luck to them!

cantkeepawayforever · 01/07/2018 13:27

Perfectly,

Why are you surprised, when a known biter is playing football for his country in front of millions?

The child may have challenging behaviour linked to SEN. Or just had a bad moment (IME biting incidents are rarer than other violent behaviours in upper primary, but by no means unknown)

ChaffyMcChaff · 01/07/2018 13:45

But surely you MUST KNOW that the very vast majority of schools are not like your 'idyllic little school' with its '10-12' pupils per class? You MUST know this OP! You're not that encased in your perfect bubble, to not understand that education in this country is now teetering on the brink of a meltdown of near catastrophic proportions? Teachers (of which I am one) are hanging out of their arses, quitting with stress-related illnesses, having breakdowns and, horrifically, even committing suicide due to the pressure they are being put under right now.

You need to seriously consider your comment. It's nothing to do with how teachers feel about your children. It's to do with how they feel about managing their well-being and mental health in a HIGHLY pressured job! 🙄

Mummadeeze · 01/07/2018 13:49

I think you are being a bit ridiculous to be honest. That is a completely normal thing to think/say no matter how much you love your job. Plus teaching must be one of the most tiring jobs out there. I agree they have earned a break.

ChaffyMcChaff · 01/07/2018 13:54

Oh...I don't even drink so I'm not even bothered by your wine comment! But I AM bothered by your lack of empathy and understanding of what is a very demanding profession (amongst many demanding professions of course!), which is truly lacking and incredibly upsetting actually!

user789653241 · 01/07/2018 14:07

I find it sad that this kind of thread comes up time after time. Of course all the occupations are equally important, but I see teachers in the different light being a parent.

Raising children is hard, as a parent. Guiding your child to become a good person in every possible way. Imagine that x 30. That's what teachers do in daily basis. Paid or not, still a hard work. They deserve appreciations, not negative attitude.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 01/07/2018 15:15

cantkeep DS2's teacher and I were both shocked when a yr1 bit him!

Fluffyrainbows · 01/07/2018 15:58

@irvineoneohone I have a lot of respect for teachers. Well for good teachers. But in no way are they parents x30. Not by any stretch of the imagination. Many are themselves parents to their own children. Their job is stressful and hard but they do not 'parent' 30 kids.
Some teachers are outstanding and they all deserve respect as they are professionals and I think that the ridiculous pressures placed on them these days by the government with ofsted and sats are unacceptable and stop them from actually teaching. But they are not super-parents who go to work and parent 30 kids, it's not the same.

PepperSteaks · 01/07/2018 16:12

I think it’s disgusting that mothers think they deserve a glass of wine after a hard day Hmm. Of course I don’t!
Count over the summer how many posts there are moaning about keeping kids entertained during the holiday. Now imagine entertaining 30 of them. But also educating them and dealing with all the squabbling that parents on here whinge about. Most people would need a stiff drink.

MrsBartlettforthewin · 01/07/2018 16:12

Well my DH got up at 7 this morning to mark final pieces and write reports for his class of 32 and he's still at it having only stopped briefly for lunch. I spent all of yesterday marking and analysing end of year internal results. So, yes. Yes yabu.

elephantoverthehill · 01/07/2018 16:31

Ha Ha! Anyone else got the teaching advert along side this thread. I don't know if it's ethanol she is testing.

Appuskidu · 01/07/2018 16:44

Is it rude for parents to say ‘TFIF and I deserve my glass of wine after a week with my kids’, OP?

Do other people other that teachers never think or say ‘hooray, I’m on holiday and I deserve a rest’?

kaitlinktm · 01/07/2018 16:59

I don't think the OP's coming back. Sad

Fif · 01/07/2018 17:18

I’m surprised that they aren’t on medication. I hope they enjoy their wine and 6 weeks off. They work hard beyond their allotted hours. They help to educate and raise our children. I’m a sahm and I have more than a glass of wine.

lilypoppet · 01/07/2018 17:22

It's hard work being a teacher and they may be our little darlings but I bet the teachers see a different side.