To not want to live with a man again?

[Solsikke89]

Just separated from ex, I married really young. Didn't know who I was or what I wanted, there's just so many things I want to do with my life now. And I do want to be in a relationship again, not now obviously but later.

However I don't want to live with another man again. I just want us to have our own houses and see each other like that. When I explain this to my mum, she's like . But I just can't live with another man again, I like my space too much.

Anyone feel like me?

I can understand why, based on your experience, you would come to that conclusion but if I were your friend in real life I would feel sad that you would be settling for a lesser option to protect yourself.
Here is my logic, if you know you want to live separately from a partner you might be more likely to settle for one who has many flaws because you don't have to deal with them as often. If you think you will one day love with a man you are saying you might n more likely to be discerning in your choice.

However, I realise that I might have. A skewed view. I have never found myself attracted to a man that is in anyway not a fully capable adult. When pos talk about men al having some sort of unpleasant habit it doesn't ring true for any of the men I've found attractive.

I think it makes a big difference to feeling of space as well. As he doesn't need to me look after him I never feel my husband is in my space. I like my own company and being alone. It never feels as though he intrudes in it.

No.
Lots of other creative ways.

Hey - if that works for you, then that's perfect.

But, again, I'm not interested in all the 'creative' ways I can manage/shape/encourage my partner into being the man I want.

In fact, to reverse that: if I found out that my partner was getting 'creative' in order that I be more appealing/acceptable to him, then, alas, the relationship would stop working immediately.

Just me and ds here , sometimes I think I'd like a proper family life but past experience and the shit you see women put up with on here make me think it's not all its cracked up to be !
Happy as we are for now , do as we please !!

speakout - There's a particular approach from a very popular book in some circles I travel in - The Queen's Code - which sounds very familiar to the way you write about (your) relationship. Unfortunately, as much as I tried to love it, it is predicated on manipulation - as is 'getting creative' and positioning oneself as "queen bee". It's a power-play - with a dash of honey thrown in.

My husband has no bad habits at all. There is absolutely nothing negative about living with him.

@clumsyduck

you are a proper family. They come in all shapes and sizes

@SleepingInYourFlowerbed so your husband is perfect . Everyone has bad and annoying habits including you, how can you say your husband has no bad habits?

Exactly like you and why not???
Relationships can be great but why the need to infuse lives? Great if you want that but not for me!
However, I'm a bit of a loner more than happy doing my own thing, alone.

Don't get me wrong, I couldn't survive for a minute without my child or family but if we don't share DNA you'd have to be really special for me to put up with you!

I'm not sure why but the idea of women saying "I'm gonna live alone and love it" gets some people's backs up.
I have lived with 4 men-all very different, and in my teens, 20s and 30s. Every time the gender norm kicked in and made me feel like a drudge. I'm not a drudge. I'm a fun, intelligent woman. I'd like to stay that way
My wanting my own space doesn't prevent other women from sharing theirs.

I hear you.

If DH and I separated I would never co-habit or marry again. I really don't need to compromise. My money, my house, my life.

Solsikke89

I think would you're looking for is called 'Living Apart Together'

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Living_apart_together

*what you're

I think in an ideal world a family unit lives together while bringing up DC but I agree OP if I was stating over now, I would not agree to live with anyone FT.

Good god, who can be arsed with “creatively” manipulating another adult human into picking up their own dirty pants?

Life is way too short to be treating partners like recalcitrant pets.

@IfNot I think it's because women who are happy living with their husbands/partners and will try to convince that it's not that bad at all, as long as you're with the right person. Like @SleepingInYourFlowerbed who's just announced that her husband has no bad habits

Also you can't do what you want when you want, when you're living with someone. You have to compromise and take that persons feelings in to consideration. I can't be arsed with that.

Been with my DP for 2 1/2 years, no plans to live together. It works! All the fun bits and none of the domestic niggles

who's just announced that her husband has no bad habits
so what, maybe he doesn't really, or maybe she is quite chilled and doesn't see things as negative. Why does everybody absolutely need to live in some kind of house-war and have to bicker about mundane things?

As long as they are happy, who cares how people organise their private life.

As long as they are happy, who cares how people organise their private life.

All the people who say “never say never”

I’ve been divorced 10 years and am totally with you on this. I still treasure having my own space and not having to accommodate anyone else or justify why I want cornflakes for dinner and to turn in at 7pm and watch stuff on catch up in bed.

Depends on the man. My current DP works away most of the time but when he’s home or works from home he does everything, he cooks, cleans, tidies, repairs things, grows the veg, just absolutely everything! He comes cuddle with me when I want it and stays in his office or man-cave when he knows I’m wanting some space. He only watches tv if I want some company watching tv (he has hobbies so keeps himself occupied too) so never have to try get the controller first. He doesn’t want me to lift a finger so I will try at least do things with him as I feel a bit piss-takey at times .
That said, my ex was useless and it was like having a really fucking awkward shitty teenager. Still very good friends with my ex, but wow he was hard work.

Also writing this post has made me realise how wonderful he actually is and how grateful I am!

@FranticallyPeaceful you're one lucky woman! I can't imagine how it must be like to be with an fully functioning adult. Being with my ex was like having a fourth child.

From the outside, it sounds like your DP fits his life entirely around yours at home. And, again, perhaps that works perfectly for you both - and if so, that's great. But I would find this equally difficult to live with.

My comment was for FranticallyPeaceful