To not want to live with a man again?

[Solsikke89]

Just separated from ex, I married really young. Didn't know who I was or what I wanted, there's just so many things I want to do with my life now. And I do want to be in a relationship again, not now obviously but later.

However I don't want to live with another man again. I just want us to have our own houses and see each other like that. When I explain this to my mum, she's like . But I just can't live with another man again, I like my space too much.

Anyone feel like me?

YANBU

OMG AnnaNimmity my ex would unload it then show how he thought it should be done drove me bonkers. I would struggle to live with anyone again.

I have no intention of another relationship, but if I did I would not want to live with or be financially entangled with another man.

I lived alone with my children for 12 years.... never again would I live with a man I said many times! Being living with my partner 8 months now and it's great. He makes life mostly easier and we enjoy being with each other. Equally would be fine living alone again (but would miss being brought coffee in bed every morning, amongst many other things )

Never say never - but not unreasonable to feel the way you do obviously.

Btw I have previously come out with all the lines about living with someone causing loss of freedom etc etc. But actually I've found that's not necessarily true and totally person dependent.

YANBU. I also married young, went from my parents house to a shared house with friends and then to my husband's house. 4 years ago we split up and I moved into my first house alone (with DS) I have never felt so much freedom as I did then.

I will NEVER live with a man again, I'm even unsure if I ever want a proper relationship again.

I exchange on my new house on Monday after 20 years living with husband. Last 6 months living together whilst sorting finances, super stressful but there is now a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm another who right now would never live with another man again. Never say never but there would have to be a damn good reason with a damn good man to get me to give up what I've fought so hard for.
Bring on Monday 😄

@BertyFlanter awww congrats, it feels good doesn't it?

I totally get it. I love my husband very much, but I need my own space too and there are many times when I miss the freedom - and lack of hassle/mess - of living on my own.

YANBU. I have no wish to live with a man ever again. Can't imagine anything worse.

Yanbu, I couldn't either! I've not lived with a man for 12 years, it's bliss!!

@BitchQueen90 I went from my parents home to my husbands. I married at 21 and getting divorced now at the age of 28.

Now I'm like WTF was I thinking getting married at 21. Ugh

I have three children, so no more for me. I do want a relationship though, someone to go out with and do things, and I miss the sex.

I probably won't get involved with anyone until my children are old enough to stay home on their own, so 10 years time :)until then I will enjoy my life and my children.

I'm divorced six years this December. I've dated a few people and had two semi-serious relationships that ended when I'd had enough of the bullshit that always starts when men get comfortable with you. I say "semi-serious" because I never had the slightest intention of marriage or cohabitation. I was always very up-front from the beginning about that; I don't want to get married, I don't want more kids and I don't plan to live together. At this point in time I don't even want to date or be in a relationship. It's honestly just far more trouble than it's worth in my opinion.

YANBU. I have a lovely man who makes my life better, but I'm quite happy to live alone (well, with dc!)
Cohabiting isn't usually beneficial to women. Unless it's with another woman!

I've still got my husband & I can categorically state I would never want to live with one again. YANBU.

This.

Solsikke, I have sex as I please. After a bit I realized I don't have to be dating, I don't have to have some emotional attachment. I'm a very overweight woman in my forties and if I can find plenty of nice people to have sex with anyone can. It's all in the headspace

Yanbu. I've lived on my own for a few years now and it's blissful. I couldn't live with anyone again.

I said to my dp the other day if we split I would not be interested in being with another man at all! I really and truly mean that too!!
I would be happy with my own company and space!

I won't live with a partner again. And I certainly won't share my bedroom with anyone. I love it too much; I love my own haven too much; I can do whatever I want, and everything is exactly how I love it. And I do love it!

As soon as sex comes into the equation, I've found that traditional gender roles are too strong not to start imposing themselves. Most women get most of the housework; most men regress into emotional/psychological children/adolescents, and their partner becomes "mummy". Sex, inevitably, will disappear quite quickly after that. (Note: I'm saying "most", not all - but I'm not willing to work with those odds.)

I currently live with my ex as housemate. We raise our kid together, we care about each other a lot - we love each other - but have separate lives, and there is no physical relationship to create that unhealthy enmeshment.

When and if I find a partner, then it will be separate houses, with liaisons :)

Op, stick to your guns. I have for the last 7 years and my life is soooo much nicer.

No filthy loo, no endless cooking, no dirty pants on the floor, no-one trying to bully me or sneering because I’m no master chef, no-one trying to get planning permission on my garden without asking me .

Never again for me either. Life is a joy now.

I love the idea of “liaisons”.

I love the idea of “liaisons”

I have a regular provider of. I can confirm it is splendid!

I do too, Kingsclerelass - though currently they are non-existent few and far between! (Which is actually fine.)

OP in your position with 3 kids I wouldn't want another man inhouse either.
Far too many possible complications.

However you can't write men off completely.

Like you I married young- to a shit man- no kids, he died.
My current OH I met when I was 36, two kids shortly thereafter and still blissfully happy 20 years later.

He treats me like a goddess, and I am more than happy to play my part.

My god, any man who tried to live with me would probably end up under the patio. I love my home and it's a female domain.

However you can't write men off completely

You can of course say you’re never prepared to cohabit or get married again. Neither of those points is writing off men.