To steal a baby name?

[Maggie24715]

My husbands cousin is TTC and we were chatting about baby names. I'm 6 months pregnant and love the baby name she's chosen.
Would I be the worst in the world to steal it?
They live at the other end of the country so we only see them at family weddings - but they are a close family with lots of FB groups etc.

Whether or not a particular name is likely to be used in any particular family is specific to the family in question.

Eg If you come from the sort of family where everyone gets called traditional names like James, Catherine, Thomas, Mary, William etc and you mentioned you were thinking of calling your DC Artemisia, you could legitimately be hurt if one of your relatives then named their DC Artemisia before you got a chance to do so.

So yes,Georgie is not for use in case the cousin who isn’t pg has a baby girl

Yet again lipstick you have not grasped the issue. The suggestion to avoid the name is in case the cousin's wife does not get pregnant!

Have not failed to grasp at all.simply don’t think it’s reasonable that a name be unusable in case of pg or in case no pg

My friend did this, she and i were pregnant at the same time although i was due slightly later. We discussed names and i told her the first and middle name i liked for a girl (the only name me and dp could agree on). She had her daughter first and called her the exact same name, my daughter was born nameless and stayed that way for 6 days before i gave up trying to find a new name and used the name too.

I then had DC2 and she had her DC2 a year after me and low and behold used a VERY similar sounding first name and the exact same middle name.

DC2 & DC3's names were kept quiet until after birth.

If you understood the issue why did you post a statement making a totally different assertion Lipstick?

No name is "unusable". It is just that the vast majority of people would choose an option that avoided the possibility of hurting somone else.
For the OP it is a name - just a name. OP has made her decision and gone on her merry way, happy that she took advice and avoided the possibility of unintentionally hurting another person.

For some inexplicable reason you seem hell bent on expounding an approach to life that refuses to acknowledge that other people may feel things differently from you. A woman who has fertility problems might view the significance of the name differently to the OP who is six months pregnant.

The OP is clearly more emotionally intelligent and does not want to the run the risk (however small) of causing hurt, now or in the future. It is really no skin off her nose.

I wonder why it is that this happens so often. Is the name really that perfect, or is it that the persons affection/passion for the name is what makes it seem so desirable? Especially if the person is someone you admire or look up to. If you'd seen "Georgina, sometimes shortened to Georgie" in a baby book would it honestly have stood out to you?

You sound nasty & like you love a drama. If they're having trouble conceiving & have told you a name they love why would you then want to upset her, potentially make loads of people fall out & for what? So you could use a baby name she has her heart set on? That's so crap of you if you do that, honestly. Pick your own and get a grip!

Teggun conversation and threads flow,and usually in response to a recent statement
I don’t need to put caveats or explanation on every statement in rl or mn
I am correct in stating that others have stated Georgie needs to be reserved in case cousin gets pg

MrsClutterworth you might want to read the thread and see op said she won’t use the name
The drama appears to be you going off on one without reading thread

What an extraordinary post MrsClutterworth
The OP asked, listened, and decided against using the name

Yay we agree Lipstick

Indeed we do.
It’s a non issue if we also happen to disagree,I don’t take mn personally
Happy to be disagreed with.

If that happened to me I'd have to choose a different name and I'd be royally pi##ed off with you 😡

The exact reason I won't tell anyone in real life my baby names I'd like for my next one. Cause people seem to want them when they know someone else that's having one.

Lipstick you don't seem to understand how people's feelings work. I had DD's name locked in since I was 13. All I ever wanted to be was a mum. If I had told someone this name while TTC and they then used it for their daughter because they've liked it for a whole 52 seconds I would be devastated. I wouldn't want to be, but I would be. You cannot control whether other people have deep emotional connections to a name, all you can do is be mindful of other's feelings. If you still choose not to understand then you are just uncaring.

Do you understand that a name retains it’s individual significance even if someone else uses it
It is no less a special name because someone else used it too
Your deep emotional connection is not impaired.
You fail to acomodate that it’s permissible for any parent to like & use same name
Whether a parent newly likes a name or had liked it since 13yo is irrelevant. It’s not a time served domain.
I’m not seeking to control or limit your connection to a name, but you are seeking to deny anyone else using a name you like.

Take a step back and remember that this name hadn’t crossed OP’s mind before so it’s not exactly heartbreaking for her to think of another name. I’m sure she realises the baby name may never be used in this case, but she just has some compassion for someone suffering from fertility problems.

It would be an entirely different scenario if they both had their heart set on the same name and told each other.

No.name choice isn’t a time served domain,I thought of it longer it’s mine
And yes fertility and TTC is stressful but it doesn’t mean no one can never chose same name
Whether a name is spontaneously chosen or chosen years ago doesn’t matter

Jesse
Gracie
Lanie

I think it would be a bit cheeky at best and probably a bit mean ... I wouldn't do it. However my friend and I were both ttc at same time and I liked her girls name idea. When I got pregnant I asked if she would feel weird about me using it (potentially we would have same name daughters). She was cool about it but anyway turns out I'm having a boy so whatever!

What about this one? My top boy name idea is that of a friends son (who is already 15 years old). It's a very rarely used name, although not unusual / wacky. Not a close friend but have been on holiday together and FB friends and a few mutual friends. I feel a bit awkward and would like to mention it to her before the announcement but is that just even weirder?

You know my answer,use the name don’t seek permission

I have just seen another thread where the poster is wanting to use the same name as her DSis used. And although I think it would be odd, I don't see it as the same issue as here. There is no risk of causing hurt or distress - annoyance, irritation etc. yes, but not pain. It's not in the same league as possible infertility.

Similarly, I would never choose the name of a deceased child in the family or circle of friends. I wouldn't want to risk inadvertantly causing upset.

TheGrumpySquirrel

Dear lord get a baby name book and stop swiping ideas

It's hardly swiping ideas .. the boy is 15! I'd say it inspired us because we had been through all the baby name books and nothing we liked

And it's not a made up name just rarely used