to not contribute to this appeal and potentially embarrass my children?

[SnappedCrackledAndPopped]

School is holding a cake sale and non uniform day for a 'charity appeal' for a terminally ill little girl. The appeal has been featured in local newspaper and radio and they want to raise half a million pounds to go towards seeking alternative therapies abroad and also a memory making Disney family holiday. I'm rather embarrassed to say that I have a few issues with this, due to the following:

The child is terminally ill. There is nothing, absolutely nothing that can be done to save their life or halt progression of this cruel and tragic disease. At best, these quack unproven treatments could only extend their life by a couple of months, at worse it would mean dragging a very sick child half way around the world on several exhausting journeys, which I'm not too sure would be in their best interests.

It is not correct to say this is a charity appeal. It is a crowd funder.

The kids think I'm being unreasonable. I'm ok with donating to one of the charities and foundations that fund research into this disease and I will happily do so. It's just that the crowd funder doesn't sit comfortably with me.

On the other hand I can wholly sympathise with her desperate family and have no idea whether or not I'd do the same in this situation.

Should I just keep my thoughts to myself and ride the wave of love shown to them by our local community, or go with my gut instinct that all this is probably not a very good idea?

Prepared to be told I'm a heartless evil witch.

Oh ffs. Give your kids a £ to take part.
Just be thankful it's not you in that position

Oh it’s difficult, isn’t it?

I’d lob them a tenner or a cake or whatever and bite my tongue but I am very uncomfortable with the rise of unregulated crowdfunding for quacky or nebulous reasons.

For a couple of pounds?

Blimey. It’s a few quid and cake. Seriously? WHy are you spending so much time thinking and judging them? It’s all quite self centred to think your £5 is going to make any difference to anyone’s lives. Please don’t embarrass your children (and yourself!)

how much do you have to give for the non uniform day? just give the minimum and don't buy any cakes. The problem is it will be a very public forum to take a stand, and your kids will bear the brunt of it.

Also, they likely will use some of this money for funeral costs and logistics (hotel near the hospice). Surely you can agree this is a worthy cause to throw a few quid towards even if it isn't a registered charity.

I'd do the non uniform contribution anyway, your dc will enjoy that and what the school choose to do with the proceeds is up to them.

Give the money and be thankful you aren't in their shoes....

I can understand your thoughts on the alternative things..but it's not really your place to vote said opinion.
The parents are doing what they think is best .
I would give a batch of cupcakes and keep your mouth shut and be thankful you're not in their place

Oh please... you would do the exact same for your own child

Fattymcfaterson has it nailed.

I’d feel the same way you do, but I’d donate anyway. I’d see it as my donation going towards the holiday and also showing some support to her family.

It’s the thought that families who can’t really afford it are under pressure to contribute to the fat bank balance of a snake oil salesman that’s so confronting. But you just need to view it as a palliative placebo for the family, I think.

Do your kids get pocket money?
I would encourage them to contribute and / or help them bake a cake if this cause is something they believe in.
I sometimes contribute to my kids’ fundraisers, sometimes not, but I support them if they wish to contribute.

voice not vote

I'd just go along with it if I was you. Nothing good can come of letting your feelings be known.

You're a heartless evil witch.
In all seriousness I see where you are coming from, but it's embarrassing and potentially upsetting for your children to hold your moral gauntlet. Give them some money and let them get on with it.

they want to raise half a million pounds to go towards seeking alternative therapies abroad and also a memory making Disney family holiday.

£500,000 for quack therapy for a terminally ill girl? And a Disney holiday? I can see why you are uncomfortable with this. I would be too.

God, that's a depressing read.

Oh please... you would do the exact same for your own child

No, we wouldn’t all subject our children to treatments with no medical benefit. Don’t be silly.

I understand your point, but personally for the sake of a couple of quid, I'd just let my kids go in non-uniform.

I agree with you - alternative therapies at the end of life are not always harmless - especially not with travel.

Funding Disney and fun - yes absolutely.

Treatment wise the NHS will pay millions for children to travel for protons or for fancy drugs where there is proof of effectiveness. To take money from desperate parents for untested treatments is not on.

I agree with you about the useless treatments, and I am not keen on any of my money ending up in the pockets of the Disney Corporation.

But in this case, the child's family are in a tragic situation. The fundraising is clearly bringing them comfort. If it cheers them or even distracts them from the horrors looming in their future, I would support it.

I think until you can never know what you would do till you are in there position . I wouldn’t necessarily contribute to a stranger but for these parents it will be important to know people around them care.

So yes I would just pay up and shut up

Give your kids a couple of quid for some cakes btw I don''t think you are wrong or even heartless but this isn't your time to make a point. Depending on your kids ages you can have a conversation about false hope and dying but this family don't want to give up.