Evicting my sister who doesn’t pay rent

[Vanessatiger]

Back story: half sister divorced a few years back, left with her SN child. Lived with my parents, was depressed about her situation, was saving to buy her own place.
We were buying an investment property in the central parts of London. She occupied that flat (2 beds and newly renovated), paid no rent. Got herself a good highly paid job, didn’t offer to pay anything, we pay the council tax and associated costs with having the flat. We pay her water and heating. I’m a bit fed up frankly, and she says she’s saving her whole salary to buy the new place. She also buys a few designer handbags meanwhile.

AIBU to evict her by September? To rent it out to a bills and rent paying tenant?
The idea was that she’d take care of the flat, fix things that get broken etc, but last time I went nothing was fixed. Shower door was creeky, dish washer door was loose etc..

She’d have to go live with my parents until she sorts herself out.

I say we’re half siblings because she didn’t benefit from the economic advantage i got from one parent’s family’s side. So my husband and I are much more well off than her.

Help, it feels like I’m going to upset up

Checked back to see updates, happy to see you stood up for yourself and told her to move out OP.
She is ungrateful, entitled and behaving like a spoilt stroppy child. Might be coming late in life but at least she maybe would learn a bit about being a grown up from this. Her salary is decent , so don’t feel guilty as she is/will be ok even though she’s having a massive tantrum at the moment.

Her reaction to you pulling the plug tells you all need to know about her. You were a means to an end, her relationship with you relies totally on what she gets out of it.

Have I understood this right? You’ve been paying over 3,000 a month for your sister and niece to live in central London location for the past 2 years and you pay for their luxury holidays? I’m really not against helping out family members, but unless you are a multi-millionaire this is just totally bizarre.

OP - the fact that you feel guilty points to a really damaged family dynamic here. It is not your job to provide your sister with the life style she desires. It sounds a if she has been spoilt and indulged and you are playing along with this. If your parents or other sister want to pay for her that’s their choice, but you have your own children to look after - she’s not one of them. You may have been given the role of scapegoat - but you don’t have to accept it.

Right OP
Enough is enough
You’ve done nothing wrong
You’ve given your sister a huge helping hand - she’s got a job and she should have used the time spent living in your flat to save money. If she hasn’t done this then that’s her problem.
No one can expect you to house her, rent free, indefinitely.
Your own financial position is nothing to do with her or any of your other family members - stop letting them use this to make you feel guilty.
If your other family members can’t see how ridiculous this situation is then they are as thick as your sister is
None of them are going to back down
You have a choice - you can either carry on like this, banging your head off a brick wall or you can get her out and move on with your life. Moving on may mean that she or other family members have a pop at you/stop talking to you but is that a problem when at the moment all they are doing is giving you grief?!
You need to put an end to this, otherwise it’s just Groundhog Day.
You’ve been given loads of helpful advice on this thread - time to pull your big girl pants up and stand your ground. You haven’t done anything wrong, you’ve helped her out massively, but ultimately you are not responsible for her and it is not up to you to finance her! Just stop.

I've got a few BTLs in border zone 1/2. Whilst I don't have family that's done this, I've had friends who have by far attempted to outstay their welcome. Where we have let them stay, say for a week, and they've pushed to a month without so much as a thank you.

I appreciate you trying to help her and I think your generosity is huge. Not just w the living situation but the holidays you pay for her etc don't fall for the guilt trip. You say you have a £3000 mortgage on the flat, and on top of that bills. So you are at a loss and whilst you may not feel the difference that is an enormous amount to lose in two years. It's not fair on you and your kids. You give a hand and she's taken both arms. No. Not right. If she had say offered to pay something towards it once she got sorted w work then fine, but to keep mum about it is presumptuous and piss taking.

Thank you everyone for saving my sanity and letting me know what’s normal and what’s not.

I still haven’t heard from her (in a positive manner) except for the “I’m very busy so stop asking me questions “...

I guess this is it.

She'll be in touch when she wants something!

Too damn right.
Probably when it's her freebie holiday time.

She sounds hideously spoilt. I don't care how rich you are - she has zero respect for you.

Spend your money on someone who deserves it and appreciates it. That money could have gone to a hospice, a children's charity or a Homeless charity for people who genuinely have nothing, if you didn't miss it every month.

No way I'd text her again!

I don't say this lightly but OP - I think you should consider some counselling. It is really not normal to feel guilty about not housing your sister who is on over twice the average income.

The more you text her the more she knows she still has you on her side, feeling guilty and likely to change your mind.

Cut off contact. She’s a user of the worst degree. She’s not skint by any means. She only wants you for your money. You need to drop this guilt. You don’t owe her anything.

As others have said, she's a CF. The least she should do is pay the Council Tax and utilities. You are very kind in paying for holidays and making sure your niece doesn't lose out.

So has she actually left?

You now stop buying her things. Stop paying for their holidays.
She’s not grateful so she doesn't deserve it.

I’m really sorry but she’s really not a very nice person. And you need to stop feeling guilty for being in different circumstances. This is not your fault and it is not your responsibility to pay for her stuff - especially if she’s off buying designer stuff.

£60k is a huge salary btw

She's a classic narc. Basically an entitled little shit who sees you as a provider of life's comforts. Please don't feel sorry for her. She is a toxic user who wouldn't think twice about bleeding you dry.

It doesn't matter that you can afford it. She is a piss-taking CF and the less you have to do with her, the better.

From your use of the term "Golden Child," you may already be aware of the whole dysfunctional dynamic around narcs. If not please read up on narc behaviour. It might help you feel less guilty and a bit angrier.

Response: "OK, this isn't a question. We cannot continue to house you after 20th July. You need to leave by then without fail"

How did you get on OP?

Latest update: my sister has blocked me from social media. She told me how enraged she was and that I ruin her days whenever I contact her.

So that’s about it.

I do feel profoundly sad about the whole thing. She’s just really a very selfish person. But I can’t believe my own sister would treat me like this.

So is she refusing to move out?

She said she’ll be moving this week

Make sure that she does leave and that she doesn’t trash the place when she leaves.

I don’t understand why she’s being such a cow? You’ve been amazing to her and more than tolerant. Why is she now being such a cow when you’ve spent thousands and thousands on her over the years? What an ungrateful bitch.

What has your mum said about it all?

Mum silent,does not want to rock the boat..