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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Evicting my sister who doesn’t pay rent

236 replies

Vanessatiger · 27/06/2018 08:36

Back story: half sister divorced a few years back, left with her SN child. Lived with my parents, was depressed about her situation, was saving to buy her own place.
We were buying an investment property in the central parts of London. She occupied that flat (2 beds and newly renovated), paid no rent. Got herself a good highly paid job, didn’t offer to pay anything, we pay the council tax and associated costs with having the flat. We pay her water and heating. I’m a bit fed up frankly, and she says she’s saving her whole salary to buy the new place. She also buys a few designer handbags meanwhile.

AIBU to evict her by September? To rent it out to a bills and rent paying tenant?
The idea was that she’d take care of the flat, fix things that get broken etc, but last time I went nothing was fixed. Shower door was creeky, dish washer door was loose etc..

She’d have to go live with my parents until she sorts herself out.

I say we’re half siblings because she didn’t benefit from the economic advantage i got from one parent’s family’s side. So my husband and I are much more well off than her.

Help, it feels like I’m going to upset up

OP posts:
jessicasmummy04 · 27/06/2018 11:25

If she hasn't saved anything in the last two years to be able to afford to move out then she never will!

gryffen · 27/06/2018 11:35

Let her know that since she is now sorted and able to start contributing towards rent etc then she will be handed papers you get drawn up by lawyer for payment.

if she fails to do so then let her know that viewings will take place within a fortnight as the flat is not a freebie and if she wants it she pays for it.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 27/06/2018 11:39

Then she’d feel resentful I’m better off than her

Tough - whoever said life was fair? And if she's that bothered about family inequality, perhaps she could share some of her decent salary with those worse off than her? (Yeah, right Hmm)

Personally I'd leave your own finances completely out of it, since they just invite the comment "well it's all right for you". She's had two years of extreme generosity and it's time for that to stop - end of

Maelstrop · 27/06/2018 11:40

It would be unfair to turf her out giving only a few months' notice, bearing in mind that you have let this situation carry on unchallenged for the last 2 years

By law, landlords have to give 2 months in most cases, so a few months' notice is over the top, imo.

MyKingdomForBrie · 27/06/2018 11:40

Why do people get themselves in these situations. Why why why. Yes she is your half sister but she is TAKING THE PISS and it's just so unfair!

Give her notice immediately. Tell her you know she's buyin designer hand bags etc and that she's costing you x amount in bills and y amount in missed rent and the flat is not in a good state. Just be honest.

ChelleDawg2020 · 27/06/2018 11:42

Serve two months notice without delay. At the same time offer her a new tenancy agreement based on the current market rent. Almost certainly she's taking the piss out of you, but by offering her the flat at market rent (including 6-8 weeks deposit) you are offering her a way forward if she is genuinely oblivious to how nice you have been.

FizzyGreenWater · 27/06/2018 11:42

Oh and time to start reframing it to your relatives.

'I simply can't afford to SUBSIDISE sister any more. I'm paying her bills, her council tax, she said she'd fix things in the flat in return for her PAID FOR lodgings, and she isn't. She is COSTING ME a fortune...'

Puzzledandpissedoff · 27/06/2018 11:42

let her know that viewings will take place within a fortnight

I'm afraid that would probably be a non starter unless viewings could somehow be done when she wasn't there ... if she was present she'd certainly invent some nightmare about the property to prevent it being sold

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/06/2018 11:51

"It would be unfair to turf her out giving only a few months' notice, bearing in mind that you have let this situation carry on unchallenged for the last 2 years"

No - what is unfair is the sister thinking it is OK for her to live rent free and paying no bills, at the OP's expense, and that this can carry on indefinitely, whilst she enjoys buying designer handbags!!

And frankly 'a few months' is PLENTY of time for her to find somewhere else to live.

HouseworkIsASin10 · 27/06/2018 13:07

You are basically paying her to live there, by paying her bills aswell.

She will never move out while she is able to keep all her money to herself. It's too good a deal. Why would she?

You need to do something sooner rather than later, or this will drag on for years.

ginghamstarfish · 27/06/2018 13:14

My goodness! I can't believe you have even been paying the bills! What an amazingly grabby and entitled person she must be. I would get her out as soon as possible, letting her have first option at market rent if she wants (but if I were you I'd want a clean break). Advertise for new tenants, give her a month's notice and if she kicks off please do be sure to remind her exactly how much you have subsidised her to date. She must be rubbing her hands together glee when she receives her large paycheque, knowing there are NO outgoings for rent and bills like a normal person! You seem like a very nice and charitable person OP, but really there are more deserving causes than a CF like this.

Starlight345 · 27/06/2018 13:40

There seems to have been nothing said directly to her..

I agree with the previous poster who said you need to tell her what rent you want / bills need to be paid or she has to be out by ......

Berthatydfil · 27/06/2018 13:51

Can you say to her that you can no longer afford to keep the flat while she pays no rent or other bills.

So she’s got a choice - you have to sell up, or she pays a reasonable rent (up to you how much this is and how kind you are feeling) and her bills.

Original poster
Vanessatiger · 27/06/2018 13:58

This is the thing, I feel bad telling her. I know she won’t pay anyway and I know she’ll huff and puff and act all hurt. I know she resents me for having two healthy children and she doesn’t. I know all this. But I feel sorry for her hence this deal.
My husband thinks it’s alright letting her stay for free as the money goes unnoticed.
I can’t really tell her I can’t afford it as I can afford to let her stay for free but I do feel massively resentful she hasn’t offered to pay and that money could go towards my DCs savings...

OP posts:
Adambarlow · 27/06/2018 14:02

Sorry but it’s not your problem that her kid is disabled. She chose to have the child.

Kick her out. She’ll be rehoused as a priority.

divadee · 27/06/2018 14:19

You have been amazing and lovely for 2 years. Now she is back on her feet she has to actually be an adult.

My brother has more money than me, doesn't mean I deserve it. He does. He has worked bloody hard.

I think you need to sit down with her and as calmly as possible tell her you need her to start paying rent and bills. If not you will rent the flat out to new tenants.

You owe her nothing, she owes you the biggest debt of gratitude for helping her get on her feet.

Isleepinahedgefund · 27/06/2018 14:29

Don’t kick her out, but do demand rent. She’s really taking the piss out of you. 60k is enough, it goes perfectly far enough she can bloody well pay her way! Maybe give her the options of starting to pay mates rates rent plus the associated costs, or she can her two months notice like she would get on a commercial tenancy (if she thinks she can get a better deal!).

You’ve got someone in your property who is happy for it to go to ruin because it’s not theirs and they don’t care. Protect your asset at least.

Shiftymake · 27/06/2018 14:31

My husband thinks it’s alright letting her stay for free as the money goes unnoticed. < That one got me more than anything else you have said so far! Why not have the compromise that she pays rent at a reduced rate? She can still save, you feel less put upon and your nephew continues with a stabilized arrangement for a awhile yet.

Joinourclub · 27/06/2018 15:01

I’m going to go against the tide here. I don’t think you should evict her. You sound extremely privileged by most people’s standards. Your sister is far from destitute , but she is far less fortunate than you. In my family, good fortune is shared. You can easily afford for her to continue to stay, you don’t need the extra rent money, you need her to be .... more grateful? I do agree that she should be grateful, but I’m conflicted, because from what you say about your financial situation, you can afford to do this without even really noticing. So although it’s all initially impressive, I’m not really that impressed by generosity that is probably just the equivalent to me buying my sister the occasional cup of coffee!!

I think you are after gratitude and appreciation from your sister and family, so maybe you should offer something that is harder to give? Eg Offer to look after SN child so that sister has a break ?

Ghostontoast · 27/06/2018 15:05

There's helping someone back on their feet and then there's being taken advantage of by a cheeky fucker and this is in the latter category now.

You need a proper rental agreement, damage deposit and rant, not to mention she needs to take over the utilities.

Original poster
Vanessatiger · 27/06/2018 15:06

I always look after my sister’s child when possible (i have two under 3 myself ). I don’t think I’m after more gratitude but I’m fed up that she’s buying designer goods without offering to pay for anything. That she doesn’t maintain the flat as agreed..

OP posts:
Original poster
Vanessatiger · 27/06/2018 15:08

But she has talked about killing herself before so noone in the family dares taking a stride with her including myself . I know I’m fortunate but I also think she’s taking me for a ride.. and it stings

OP posts:
Ghostontoast · 27/06/2018 15:09

She's the sort to trash the flat when she leaves.

You need some rent in the bank to repair/renovate when she does vacate.

SoftBallSophie · 27/06/2018 15:16

She will never leave on her own accord. Never.

Exploring · 27/06/2018 15:22

Have you done a few sums at all? How much this has cost you for the last 2 years, how much it should have earned you, how much a central 2 bed flat and bills would have cost her roughly.
I think if you can afford not to be profiting from it, I'd make a reason like paperwork and having to get things straight, and offer her very low rent plus bills, and make it clear that was purely to cover costs so you'd not be profiting from her, just no longer subsidising.
How you could be seen to be the bad guy I don't know.
If she isn't happy with that, then she could always leave.....