Evicting my sister who doesn’t pay rent

[Vanessatiger]

Back story: half sister divorced a few years back, left with her SN child. Lived with my parents, was depressed about her situation, was saving to buy her own place.
We were buying an investment property in the central parts of London. She occupied that flat (2 beds and newly renovated), paid no rent. Got herself a good highly paid job, didn’t offer to pay anything, we pay the council tax and associated costs with having the flat. We pay her water and heating. I’m a bit fed up frankly, and she says she’s saving her whole salary to buy the new place. She also buys a few designer handbags meanwhile.

AIBU to evict her by September? To rent it out to a bills and rent paying tenant?
The idea was that she’d take care of the flat, fix things that get broken etc, but last time I went nothing was fixed. Shower door was creeky, dish washer door was loose etc..

She’d have to go live with my parents until she sorts herself out.

I say we’re half siblings because she didn’t benefit from the economic advantage i got from one parent’s family’s side. So my husband and I are much more well off than her.

Help, it feels like I’m going to upset up

wish you were my sister!! You sound like you have helped so much- and it doesn't matter how well off you are- you are spending your children's inheritance in a way- money that could be spent on them. Do not feel guilty, she has been very lucky to have you- she may not have had much luck in life as such- however without you it would have been a lot worse!

My brother and sister in law are loaded- (When we go out they get bottles of prosecco, starters, puddings etc.. etc... and we get water and look at prices carefully- and then they had the cheek to say shall we just half the bill!! lol (Paid about £90 for what should have been about £40 lol!!)
But they are fab family and i huff a bit but I know they have helped us in the past and would if ever needed.

You have been incredibly kind xx

Like someone said above, I think my sister hates me for “helping “ her.

Wowsers, thank you for your kind words

But it’s quite sad for me to realise she doesn’t give a shit about me

Give her time- or send her a bill for the past 2 years you have spent on her ;) xx

I was tempted to send her a bill for the past two years but then I restrained myself. It’ll just hurt us more

Just read this....

As sad as it is, you have helped her for two years.

Hope ur ok op x

I think she's jealous of all you have, resentful that you're in a position to help her and are helping her and entitled by thinking that she deserves what you're giving her. Appalling behaviour from both her and your mum.

They both lose out though, by treating someone who's been so kind and generous. It really is their loss.

I'm sorry to read your updates. It's just the way it is, you were only as good as your money and only insofar as you meekly gave it to her, thus allowing her to pretend that she had the life that she "deserved". Now that this has been withdrawn, forcing her to face reality, it's all your fault.

My guess is that she will never forgive you for having what she feels should actually be hers; after all, in her mind she is a better person than you, so by right she should be the one with the money and all the power. However, you've gone and shattered that fantasy so you're no longer of any use to her. It's sad, but if you accept that this is (approximately) the thought process behind her behaviour you will at least save yourself some future disappointments.

OP I am sorry this has happened to you. This is a classic case of 'its not you, its her'. Athough you feel hurt and betrayed, one day you will know you did this out if kindness and a want to help family. It is her loss that she is being so ungrateful and mean spirited. I wish I could say that one say she will realise or come to her senses but these people rarely do - they stomp about feeling hard done by and bitter and blaming everyone else. We've all met them. You did good OP. You did good. Hold on that, ignore the rest.

@Vanessatiger - could you put together a bill (you don't need to present her with it) but some people work better when they see something written down rather that verbally.
By that I mean that if you were to write down a bill and say that you could have charged her £1000 per calendar month for rent. This equals £12,000 per year and that money is the equivalent of a new car, two weeks all expenses paid trip to X holiday destination, X amount of food shopping in Tesco/Waitrose etc.
Also include how much the water/electricity cost you over that time. That way if you mother or sister kick off about it again, you have this information to hand. Ask them if they were in your position and it wasn't a family member staying in the apartment, would they be expected to suck up these costs? They should answer no, if they are being honest. Then why would you be expected to cover such extravagant costs for a family member.
Sorry this didn't work out as you were hoping.

Sometimes people treat you the way you allow them to. By disengaging from her nonsense and showing some self respect, you may find that eventually, your relationship improves. If not, that's her choice and her loss. You really have nothing to regret by asking her to move out.