To want to marry a man even though I am gay

[strawberryplants]

I just want to be normal so much.

Where do you live that gay is not seen as normal?

You are normal OP
Always be yourself.. you are amazing just as you are

ywbvu

to your self and the man.

Don't they deserve to be moved completely?

don't YOU deserve to be loved and feel Real love?
if you don't feel "normal" I would advice you move, Ditch family and friends who make you feel that way

go live your life. you only get one.

Being gay is normal. Wanting to marry a man when you aren’t attracted to them IS ABNORMAL.

Being gay IS normal! And trust me, being married to a man is not all its cracked up to be.
You will have a much happier life if you are true to yourself, rather than living a lie.

A straight man? Why would he want that?

Would you actually want anything physical with him? If not it wouldn't be 'normal' (whatever normal is) anyway

moved is obviously supposed to be loved.

You'd hate it and be miserable. He wouldn't be very happy either!!

You are gay. You are you. You ARE NORMAL! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise x

Wouldn’t be fair on either the man or you, especially the man though if he was unaware of you being gay.

There's nothing not normal about being gay

I'm horrified that in this day and age you consider being gay as not normal!
If you marry a man you don't/can't love that would be far more wrong/sinful/stupid/untrue to yourself more so than living a lie and hurting someone else.

Being gay is normal and common now. I work in a large corporate and lots of non gays wear rainbow lanyards to show their support. It's so common now it isn't even a topic of conversation. Where are you? I'm in the South (Newbury).

OP, I completely get where you're coming from.

But don't do it - it's shit.

Being gay is very normal.
Loving yourself for who you are is the goal really. I'm sorry you're not at a point yet where you feel able to do that.
I'm bisexual and although I'm married to a man, accepting my sexuality and being proudly LGBT is the best thing I've ever done for my mental health and self worth.

I think many of those answering, might be straight.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time OP

Not me! Is there anything you'd like to talk about, and specific worries you'd like to get out in the open? You can pm me if you don't want to talk about it here.

I haven't decided whether I'm gay or straight yet. I just happened to have married 2 people that were male. To me it's about them not their equipment.

I am sorry you are having a hard time

And yes, I suspect many of us answering are straight.
And while being gay is a normal part of being human, it is not always treated as such and I'd imagine that is wearing and upsetting and exhausting.

Marriage used to be much more of a 'business transaction', a contract (often between 2 families rather than 2 individuals) and the notion that every successful marriage MUST be one based on romantic love is a fairly new invention.

I can see that one valid choice would be to marry a man who is fully aware of and in agreement with what it is you want from a marriage - a social role that allows you to 'fit in'. I am not sure how well this would work longterm, but history is full of precedents - you'd not be alone.

Otoh I agree with PP who have suggested that you might benefit from working on accepting who you are fully and truly before you embark on a legally binding marriage?

My mum is gay. She’s not abnormal. She’s 71. If she can do it, grow up in a time when prejudice was so much worse, so can you. Don’t ever say you’re abnormal. You’re not. Yes this can be a shitty world but surely finding a fulfilling loving relationship can only help make that better?

That's funny, I'm straight and married to a man I love but sometimes men are right eejits and wonder if life is easier for lesbians (being with someone who understands periods).

Going my sisters wedding soon. To a women.

Normal prep. Going to be amazing.

My friend who is gay married a man. Didn't work out so well, though they have a lovely daughter.

Years later she left him for a woman. They've been blissfully happy ever since and are now married with a gorgeous little baby through IVF with donor sperm. Be yourself, it'll all work out ok in the end.

I’m Bi. I get where you’re coming from but if you don’t love and accept yourself enough not to live a lie then there’s something wrong.