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AIBU?

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To want to marry a man even though I am gay

252 replies

strawberryplants · 26/06/2018 19:51

I just want to be normal so much.

OP posts:
Trills · 02/07/2018 08:37

Yes. Removing the word want changes what the OP said. That is what I am telling you. In your post of 3am on Sunday, you rephrased the question, removing the word "want" and changing the question from one about feelings to one about actions.

"Am I being unreasonable to want to marry a man even though I am gay?"
That is - to marry a man, despite being gay.

That was your post, and it explains why you've been treating this whole thread as if the OP was seriously proposing to do it, rather than working through feelings of wanting to do it.

mathanxiety · 03/07/2018 06:18

If it wasn't a real possibility that she was contemplating, why continue to argue, in response to questions about the impact on the man, that she could still love him?

Why would she dismiss or ignore all the kind suggestions of how to meet a nice woman and get to know her, and also the suggestions of therapy to come to accept and embrace her sexual orientation?

The flimsy problem of having to negotiate who might bear a baby, breastfeed and be the primary mother in the partnership was offered as a problem that would make the fulfillment of her desire to have a baby, breastfeed, etc, if not impossible then very difficult.

She writes as if she has considered the problems of a lesbian relationship and concluded it would be far too difficult, on top of the issue of coming out, and as if marriage to a straight man would be very straightforward by comparison. She writes as if the short cut of marriage to a straight man would be reasonable and the obvious answer to her problems. The fact that she has not had any real relationship up to now (at 37) is not proof that marriage to a man is out of the question. I am sure many of us know women who met someone in their late 30s and have had a child or children. I certainly do.

Why would you see post after post from women who say don't do it, and posts from women who have been on the receiving end of marriage to a gay individual, and just get annoyed that they were busting your bubble, waiting until approximately 200 posts into the thread to say don't be silly, that isn't what I actually want to do?

The OP has no intention of trying to accept her sexual orientation and has no intention of trying to meet a woman who could be a partner.

You are splitting hairs here.

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