Lets call a spade a spade

[Storm4star]

I tend to go on this board and relationships. There are two thread's going on right now where meeting someone new in your 40s is mentioned. Now I know there are people who meet good partners at 40/50/60 and beyond! But lets get real here. The chances of meeting "Mr Right" are pretty slim at these ages. Some get lucky of course but it really isn't the same as being single in your 20's or even 30's.

I have several single, intelligent, nice and attractive friends. Only one has had a significant relationship in the 15 years I've know them! They can't all be "too fussy", they can't all be "loving" being single, well I know they're not as they often say they wish they could meet someone.

It isn't easy and I don't think we should pretend that it is. I've tried OLD on and off, and the (sometimes) single men are in roughly three groups:

1. Young men wanting an older woman for sex
2. Older men who haven't "achieved" ie they're living in a bedsit on minimum wage and aspire to be "cocklodgers"
3. The tiny third group are decent looking men with a decent career. But they want a woman 10 years younger because they feel they deserve it for being a "good catch".

Being older and trying to meet someone decent of your own age is damn tough. Lets not try and pretend it isn't.

I shall cease now, or people may think I am advertising, which was not the case, promise.

Anyway, it's Staples fault with her thigh rubbing.

I’m sure she’ll PM you 😉

But I'm not the requisite 6ft tall

Most men lie about this anyway, I'm 5ft 8 in flats (never wear heels) and 90% of men I meet say they are exactly 6ft in their profiles. Very few actually are! I don't mind someone my own height as I don't wear heels anyway, but many are actually shorter than me in real life.

Well I guess if Shatner finds a woman off the back of this thread then my work here is done

See, this ^^^ is what I mean MNHQ, there are some serious MNOLD possibilities on here. Are you paying attention @helenamumsnet or whoever?!

I wonder if they lie because they've heard so many women say they want a man who is 6ft? Never understood lying about anything, especially visual things like height, weight, because you're going to come a cropper with as soon as they actually see you in real life. Mind you, on the dating thread years ago there were a lot of women who said they lied about their age when OLD. It's all a minefield whichever way you look at it.

Gutted I didn't get propositioned

Glad you are happy and glad you are waving the happily coupled gusset x

I know I came across as a wee bit defeatist - in reality I'm terrified. And I really don't want to settle.

I want someone who isn't the Mr Right but my Mr Right. I can be patient

My best friend has a thing about age, only a year older than me. I want to slap her with a wet fish sometimes because starting any relationship off on a lie is just counter-productive. Same goes with weight height etc.

The height thing is so weird.

I'm tall and I'll be honest, I like a taller man. Tall men are my "type" and while it has nothing to do with heels, I just feel odd towering over someone.

But, if I fell head over heel in love with, and fancied, a shorter man that would be fine, it's not impossible. And I would far, far, far rather have a date with an honest shorter man, and with a man who'd lied about his height. I mean what a daft thing to lie about!

As for women who must have a 6ft man even when they are 5'3" themselves, well FGS. Leave the really tall ones for me!

than with sorry

• why thank you and I loved your post. Should be like buttons on here.

Is this the new OLD thread?

Shatner on the naughty step. Dear god. swoons. Will not PM though. Have a not so DH I want rid of and have then decided to keep my thighs to myself at my age.

Unfortunately this will mean that I am contributing my Ex to the pool of men on minimum wage in bedsits who want to be a cocklodger.

Never tried OLD. Signed up once but didn’t actually do much with it. Got divorced at 34. Met my partner at 36. Still happy 4.5 years on. He’s 8 years younger than me.

So I don’t know if you’re right or not. Am I just a lucky one? 🤷‍♀️

Err, hang on - even if I can't have Shatner, BattleAx is not having him.

living in a bedsit on minimum wage and aspire to be "cocklodgers"

I did think when I read the OP that that has to be one of the most depressing sentences ever written. ASPIRING to be a cocklodger? I didn't think there could anything less admirable/fanciable than a cocklodger, but an aspiring cocklodger is it.

Happily hoicking a gusset in reverence to Lady R although I am covering my unused lulu with my belly. don't do flashing and the cardi doesn't stretch that far

See this is why I like MN. You can discuss serious stuff and then just have a lot of silliness too. Helps make the day go by.

I'm appropriately angry at the chaff comment but sadly am also rolling.

Am busy imagining a new section in clothes shops. 'Normal' in the middle. 'Petite' section one side. On the other: 'CHAFF'

Crying here 🤣

Oh, and just for the record, despite the name I have a full head of genuine hair. It's even my own. And my own teeth. But I'm not the requisite 6ft tall

PLEASE someone think about taking on the lovely Shatners. Loads of hair, can squeeze into understair cupboards to reach awkward things unlike all those useless 6ft-ers, and plenty of spare teeth to go round!

A SHATNERS IS FOR LIFE, NOT JUST FOR ONE THREAD.

'Stylish clothes for the chaffier lady'

I've got a thread in chat atm. Bemoaning this very thing. I'm late 40s and I still have dependent children. These 2 facts negate most of my positives to a lot of men.

I don't think I'm massively fussy, but I don't fancy men who are overweight. And I usually prefer a full head of hair. This eliminates many of the over 40s men.

But I don't have a problem with -
men with children
men who are less than 6 ft tall
Men who are younger than me
Men who aren't homeowners
Men who don't have much money
Men who work shifts

I don't care what type of job he has, as long as he has one. I do draw the line at dating students, even mature students. The lifestyle is too different. And I probably wouldn't date a man who couldn't drive. Where I live that would be too difficult. He doesn't have to own a car, just a driving licence.

I totally agree with the OP.

I was on OLD searching on so many sites for over a year.

There is a certain type of woman who seems to be snapped up - one that is giving men exactly what they want.

She absolutely has to be thin. Size 6 to 12 max. No older than 50. Family minded, domestic goddess, good cook and prepared to do pretty much anything in bed to get and keep a man. She has to be feminine, non threatening, not too ambitious or career minded, and definitely NOT a feminist.

It is absolutely a fact that the vast majority of men aged 45 to 70 that are on OLD are looking for, expect to find, and are certain that they deserve, a very attractive woman at least 15 years their junior, and that goes for men who are really ugly.

I was single for all of my 30s. I'm reasonably good looking, size 8, have an Oxbridge education and a great career, and hobbies/interests.

My OLD experiences were super depressing. Yes, you had all the blokes looking only for sex, pre-Tinder. But also, what I saw in the men my age and a bit older was a totally overinflated sense of self-worth. Very average men who made for incredibly boring dates, and you could see them appraise you and think they could do better, they truly believed they "should" be getting the younger, fitter, flashier "model".

In the end, I met a great man at work and am now happily married. I count my blessings every day.