To be devastated at losing an envelope with £500 cash in it?

[northernlights0710]

Short version: On Friday a friend gave me £500 they owed me in cash, in an envelope. Within the space of 24 hours I have no idea where it is.

My memory is terrible and I often wonder if I've got early onset dementia (I'm in my 50s).

I was nervous getting this money in cash as I don't like having large sums on my person. I would have preferred it put straight into my bank account. But the person who gave me the money didn't want to do that.

I had a feeling that I was going to lose the money. Perhaps I manifested this thought into reality.

I'm gutted and feel sick.

What's the largest sum you've ever lost and how long did it take you to get over it?

I'm sure you're not interested but if you are, here are further details:

When my friend gave me the money (in my home) I was rushing to get out of the house and so I think I left it at home (I live alone) then went to the dentist and then to work.

I remember counting it so that must be when I came home from work. But I just cannot remember where I put it! I had a builder I didn't know coming the next day so started to put credit cards away etc. I still don't know what I did with the cash.

Next morning I looked for the cash in the place I thought I'd left it and it wasn't there. This was before the builder got here, so he's not responsible.

I have looked in all the places it might be, and even went through the rubbish and recycling but it is nowhere. I rang the dentist and the pharmacy but they said nothing had been handed in.

Finally, lesson learnt. I will never again accept cash payments in a large sum. I will insist on a bank deposit.

We lost our TV remote control recently. It was gone for about a month. Eventually my dgs found it on the floor behind the sofa. Someone had left it on the top of the sofa backrest and it had fallen down behind. Have a look on the floor behind the sofa.

There's a prayer to St Anthony, the patron saint of lost things:
Tony, Tony look around
I've lost my (cash) it can't be found!

Hope you find it very soon!

Is it down the side / back of the sofa?! This is inevitably where I find missing stuff. I really hope you find it, how frustrating and stressful for you.

Check the bins also before they go anywhere

I beg you counted it and put it into another ‘container’
You are looking for an envelope but it’s not in one anymore. Go back over everything again, every square inch and empty everything out.

Definitely ask st Anthony but you have to offer him money as a reward

Try under your pillow, down the back of the head board and under the bed and bed side locker. My sil has (twice) found her passport there 30 mins before flight closed

Give OP a chance, she is probably at work as she said earlier, or is rummaging through the bins again. Good move, bins when emptied are gone forever!

The only reason she will not find it is if someone nabbed it.

I echo a fervent prayer to Saint Anthony no matter what religion you have, or none. Always works. He is a legend for lost things. Don't know how it works, but it does.

Wow, thanks so much everyone for caring and telling me your stories. Im amazed at how most people here - it seems - have got their valuables or money back. I’m on the midnight train home from work so will be continuing my search when I get home very soon. Please trust me when I say it’s not my friend who’s taken it.
I don’t have a car either so can’t look there.

I asked security again at work tonight if anyone had handed it in and they checked for me but no. I said - “that’s ok - I can eliminate this place now, as you would in a police investigation. And me and the security guard laughed. He said it was amazing that I could laugh after losing such a large sum of money because he wouldn’t be.

Well, being at work helps me a lot to lighten up and try to put it into perspective. Two months ago my ex died of cancer aged just 52. I’m sure he would have preferred my problem.

And my friend had to give her cocklodger ex -DH £45k for his share of the house - which he never paid a single penny for.

So I remind myself that there are folks worse off than me and at least I am safe and well.

I did nearly burst into tears today at home thinking about it but work tonight was a godsend in helping me to forget it for a while.

Thanks so much mumsnet community. I really feel like you’re all there for me!

Bless you OP, you sound lovely. We are all hoping you find it.

All The (((((((Madd Hugs))))) northernlights0710. I hope you find it.

Definitely hoping you find it northern
I once lost my rent money on a bus (was in an envelope in my bag)

I didn’t get it back but was fortunate to have a kind friend who was able to lend it to me and allow me to repay her in instalments.

Fingers crossed 🤞 OP.

I often do shit like this. I have two ways of dealing with it

Letting it perculate in the background for a bit and eventually it pops into my head in some random place and I quickly now make a note on my phone, or I physically take myself back to where I last had it and try and remember every thought and step as I was doing things - even with movements.

So for e.g. keys misplaced, I go back to car and check, check pavement for drops, put my hands on my pockets or bag as if getting the keys out to open door, go in, think about where I put them, which handbag or coat i had, what I had in my hands when i came in, what I was thinking about e.g. taking rubbish out, getting washing in etc. Despite feeling like I have been loosing my mind recently I am often the one that can say where to check for something if its lost or knows exactly where x is.

Still can't find my decree absolute though - been lost for 13 yrs, I know I had it in my bag at my 2nd wedding just in case but was taken v ill on way back from honey moon, picked up a load of stuff from work as I was leaving, on way back home then got DH to drop me at hospital - I never went home for longer than 2 or 3 days for 2 mths, gave birth to a preemie was particularly poorly and in the middle of all that we moved house......its the one thing that got away - lol

chill....sit down shut your eyes and think through what you did --OK you were given the money & you had to rush out....but what did you do in between? Would you need to have put something down - which room did you go into? take yourself step by step over what you did, did you need to pick up car keys, front door keys, phone, hand bag shopping bag, which rooms did you go in did you need to feed cat lock back door? think room by room where you would have gone...

I once put Euros in an envelope in the car drawer under the seat so that I wouldn't forget to bring them. But then OH put a carrier bag with some stuff in it on top. We lifted that bag up many many times on the holiday as we practically took the car apart looking for our spending money, but it had stuck to the bottom of the carrier bag, and every time we lifted up the bag, the envelope of cash was lifted too. Of course we found it again the moment we got home.
So once you'be checked the obvious places, check the rest. I'd divide the room/house into sections and literally comb through each one in turn.

Not cash, but I did this with my passport as a teenager. I probably begged my parents to be allowed to look after it myself, and then when the holiday came, I couldn't find my passport and had to miss the holiday, and fork out for a new passport! It turned up in the drawer under my bed a few weeks later. The TV remote (for the living room) was also found in that drawer one time...
I imagine the cash is in your house somewhere and hope you find it!

When you went out OP did you go in your car -could you have popped it in the glove compartment? Hope you find it

How frustrating. I’d suggest not giving up. It will (probably) be somewhere 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

I read once that lost things are usually found within 2 feet of where you think they should be,

On reading this advice I went back to where my lost car keys should have been , and found them inside a cocoa tin !

Did you put the money back in the envelope ?

Oh dear OP - missed your update. Maybe you should have a cup of tea! Go to bed let your brain have a rest and see if an idea/recollection comes to you before resuming your search.

Sorry, not RTFT, but if you can't find it you may be able to claim on your house insurance. I somehow lost all the cash and vouchers people had given us for our wedding (reckon I dropped the envelope on Sauciehall St, so hope someone got some use out of them ) and was devastated. Insurance coughed up no bother.

Where is the place you thought you’d left it?

OP.

Where were you when you were counting the money?

Tolchock - that's an interesting idea about the house insurance.

However, because it was cash, would that count? I have no receipts or proof of anything.

I guess I could try. My sister is an insurance broker so I've nothing to lose by asking her.

Reading your replies makes me realise I'm not the only one having these dramas. We've all been through a fair few scrapes haven't we?

Reminds me of when my brother in law lost his wedding ring in the ocean while swimming on honeymoon. He found it. God only knows how.

I am totally going to go into full St Anthony invoking mode though!

I've remembered a wee bit of info but it isn't much.

I was sitting in a white chair in my lounge counting the money. I was putting it in piles of £50 on the floor so I could keep track of it.

And I was counting it really fast like folks who handle cash all the time - as I used to work in a poker lounge many moons ago and strangely enough that fast-counting always gave me a great deal of satisfaction, but then clearly I need to get out more

I remember counting it and putting it all back in a white envelope and sealing it up. What I did after that is a blank! It must have been about this time of night - 2am. As I get home from work about 12.30-1.30am most nights and this is the time I do stuff and sorting out.

So for me to have had the time to count it, put it in piles of £50 and put it back in the envelope must mean that I had the money AFTER I came from work and after the dentist's. There is no way I had time to count it before that as I was rushing and in a panic waiting for my friend to show up.

Me and her left together that day, and the counting of the money would have taken place that night after work, so I had the money AFTER she'd gone. But she wouldn't take it. She doesn't need it - she's very comfortably off.

I hope you didn't accidently post the envelope.

Another update. Not huge but quite funny, depending how you look at it.

A PP suggested asking the builder if he'd seen an envelope kicking about because if he had maybe he could tell me where he saw it.

Now when my friend was here helping me look for the money, the builder was here too. And she was tearing my place apart like a woman on a mission. The builder looked at her as though she was deranged and I said, "Oh, she's just helping me look for my .... er....." and my friend jumped in and said: "Your passport."
Me: "Yeah, my passport. We're going on holiday in a couple of weeks and she's stressed because I've mislaid it."

So that was that.

So I texted the builder today on a PP's advice. Thanks PP!

Well, of course I had to tell the builder I thought my "passport" was in an envelope and had he seen it lying about anywhere?

He rang me straight away, rather upset. He's from Eastern Europe and thought I was accusing him of nicking my passport. Poor soul. He was mortified, and I was so embarrassed. I had to explain to him that I hadn't meant it like that but was trying to think of all possibilities.

So it was all okay in the end. But he joked: "If you don't find that passport, tell me and I will come and take the place apart to find it!"

He did a bloody brilliant job by the way and charged a very, very reasonable price. I don't for one minute think the builder took it.