To despair at how helpless some people are

[ThankYouVeryMuch]

You see it on here all the time, poster says they’re in a difficult situation and lots of people respond with sensible advice and details of organisations they can call for help and there’s always a reason why they can’t ask for help.

I saw a job at a local hair salon advertised on Facebook, 1 person posted “interested” underneath so the salon owner responds with their contact details (that were in the ad) and asks for a cv and the person responds “I don’t have a cv, nevermind” or someone else put on my local Facebook group saying she was new to the area and asking if there were any new mums in the local area, so I responded that there was a lovely, free mum and baby group in her village the next day and I knew the organiser so if she wanted to go along I’d make sure she got a warm welcome, and the response was “I can’t go to a baby group, what if none of the other mums speak to me”

Some people just seem as if the world owes them something and they should get what they want without putting in any effort.

[Undercoverbanana]

It must be wonderful to have the self-belief that you can do things and that other people don’t think you’re stupid all the time.

I can run GFA times across all distances but I could never put a CV together.

[Stephisaur]

@thankyouverymuch ahh that’s not far at all. It’s only like going to ikea. I agree, daft!

[RedToothBrush]

I’m afraid I have no faith in the government or the PM having a secret plan to claw back some sanity. It reminds me of the lead up to the Iraq war when we all convinced ourselves that Blair had to know something we didn’t know, something he wasn’t willing or able to share. We thought there had to be some other explanation for his actions. But there was nothing else, just a stubborn determination to go to war - despite the evidence.

I never at one poiint ever felt that.I always knew Blair was a fuck nugget at that point.

[RedToothBrush]

wrong thread. been drinking

[AdoraBell]

I was brought up feeling that I was useless, not least because that was said to me daily.

So it took me a lot of years to realise that I can do things. Living alone and having to everything for myself was completely liberating.

I agree that some people cannot navigate life due to mental health or other issues.

But those who just want someone else to do it, whatever it happens to be, for them really annoy me.

So I’m on the fence

[ilovesooty]

There are places that will provide free CV support if you can't put one together yourself.

//www.nationalcareersservice.gov.uk

[ilovesooty]

Sorry

nationalcareersservice.direct.gov.uk

[Brunsdon1]

If I'm honest OP I completely agree although I try very hard to make myself be compassionate and assume there is a reason for people to behave like this (I often fail at this though)

I'm rather of the belief that if you don't know something you figure it out...google and you tube are your friends

I once had a woman twenty years older than me be horrified that after my car breaking down I had fixed it myself which had involved going under the bonnet and using common sense

She was genuinely horrified and asked why I hadn't called one of the men in the service to help me

When I pointed out they knew less about cars than the average whippet (in fairness cars are not my thing either but I didn't have time to wait for the RAC) I genuinely looked at her confused as hell

Granted she was odd because she actually took great offence stating that if one woman did it then all men would stop "helping us"

I just do not understand someone who says "oh I could never ...(insert something less stressful that riding a camel to work)"

Have you ever tried? What's the worse that could happen? It's a very odd way of looking at things to my mind....must be awful to be so frightened of the world

[snewname]

I have learned helplessness when it comes to technological gadgets
It's easier to let dh deal with it all. I'm quite competent in other areas of life though.

[ThankYouVeryMuch]

@Brunsdon1 I completely agree, it must be so life limiting to not be able to do normal everyday interactions.

[AndromedaPerseus]

I think sometimes they want someone else to do whatever for them and if it doesn’t turn out how they would like it to they can blame the other person and don’t have to take personal responsibility

[Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname]

When my friend split with her exh he had to meet her at the garage whenever she needed fuel a she couldn't fill her car by herself.
Had him round when the TV ariel man came around as she didn't know what to say...
Mind boggles.

[SecretLimonadeDrinker]

I pretty capable and a big fan of googling but there has been times when my confidence has been so low that I doubted my ability to do anything.

I have been told by many people all my many faults and that my job/appearance isn't good enough and it's taken a long time to really believe that some people put others down to make themselves feel better. I remember going to get some lunch and feeling overwhelmed by choice when my anxiety was really bad.

Ironically I have many lovely things said to me over the last few years and also found that hard to accept.

[gamerwidow]

It does frustrate me when people won't take responsibility for their own life. Yes it can be hard but we've all had to learn how to do it so stop expecting to be spoon fed all the time. I have loads of sympathy for people who are shy and socially awkward, I am a shy person myself and I know it makes things harder but its unfair to expect others to keep fixing things for you.
My sister is terrible for this and is continually expecting me to fix everything for her from reading her post in (shes scared to open it because she never pays anything on time) to sorting out schools for her kids. I do it because I don't want her kids to suffer when it doesn't get down but I resent it. I don't want responsibility for another adult and family I have enough to do looking after my own.

[NordicNobody]

I worked at a primary school a few years back. One day girl A in my year 4 class wanted to play with girl B, but girl B was already playing with a group of other girls. Girl B and the group invited girl A to play with them but girl A said no she only wanted to play with girl B. Girl B said in that case she'd have to wait as she was already playing with that group, and if girl A wanted to play alone they could do so later. The next day girl A came in to school and with a 4 page long letter from her mum which she gave to the head teacher, basically saying that the head had to tell girl B to play with girl A all day and that girl B couldn't play with anybody else. My jaw hit the floor and I obviously assumed the head was going to call the mum and tell her to piss off but she didn't. Instead she actually told our class teacher to make girl B do as the mum had said! And the teacher did it! I just though that kid had no chance whatsoever and was going to grow up to expect everything handed to her on a plate. The whole thing blew my mind.

[ThankYouVeryMuch]

@NordicNobody I hope girl Bs mum kicked up a fuss, those type of friendships aren’t healthy.

[DrCoconut]

I remember being a bit when my supervisor at work announced he had to leave early as his wife was away for the night and he had to sort tea and oversee homework for his DC (teens not primary). I was a lone parent and did this every evening - after work hours.

[ScattyCharly]

I think this thread is a bit mean. These days, people are expected to be able to do such a lot of varied tasks. I consider myself capable, I do everything mentioned on this thread, lawn cutting, furniture assembly, dealing with basic car stuff, being a kids’ taxi, feeding them, getting stains out of clothes, organising everything, banking, sewing etc etc but things can sometimes be really daunting and also require unexpected deviations from the usual procedures. In addition to this, we all have loads to do and so everything is time pressured.

[ThankYouVeryMuch]

@ScattyCharly you think it’s mean that I would expect someone who wants a job to be able to provide a CV or someone who wants to make friends to go to a group where other people who also want to make friends will be?

[ScattyCharly]

Yes I do actually. Perhaps the person wanting the hairdressing job was intimidated or embarrassed at the prospect of putting together a CV and had never done one. Perhaps they are great with their hands styling hair but lacked literacy skills.

Perhaps the mum wanting to meet others was intimidated at the prospect of going to an established group and being ignored. Perhaps she was hoping to meet up with just one person.

Loads of people don’t know how to tackle all sorts of problems.

[Brunsdon1]

I think the point here surely is people who give up without trying isn't it?

Not so much she didn't have a CV but that it didn't occur to her to go and find out how to produce one and find a way to get it to her

There's loads of things I can't do or am rubbish out but surely an adult takes the bull by the horns and figures it out

Otherwise wouldn't it result in no-one doing anything New?

[GunpowderGelatine]

- what time does x school start?
google it/check their website

Oh god yes!

Hoiking my judgypants up, but it especially annoys me when parents don't get their shit together WRT their child's School.

During half terms holidays you're guaranteed to find parents on my Facebook timeline asking "what day do the children go back to X school?". How the fuck do people not know this? Do they not have to plan around work and childcare? Did they not think ahead that, at some point, their child has to go back to school, so they'd better find out when. Also most schools have newsletters and websites now, why would you advertise your incompetence to the whole of Facebook rather than just quietly google it?

[Birdsgottafly]

My DD was handed the school term dates when she wet to the school fair on Friday. They are different to the one's given at the start of the Year and what's on the Website.

Sometimes you phone the office and no-one knows what any arrangements are. So the school thing I can understand.

"or someone who wants to make friends to go to a group where other people who also want to make friends will be?"

If you're lacking in confidence, that first step of going into a new pace with new people is too daunting.

I think the simple questions are for social interaction.

When you think about it, people in previous generations, didn't do much that wasn't guided by family, or friends, especially Women. Men would have wider experiences, but that was in the Army/Navy etc and they were led every step of the way. People's lives were mapped out for them and most followed it.

[Brunsdon1]

I'm sorry birdsgottafly but I have to respectfully disagree

My dmum ( who granted is a nightmare) moved half way across the world , got her driving licence in three separate countries and was the first in her family to do anything similar...she wasn't guided in the slightest and had to figure it all out for herself

My grandmother had a husband away at war and then working and no mother or father in sight bringing up her family and 6 brothers with no guidance

You figure it out or you sink

I know it's hard...i really do...i hate going into new things or groups of people but I suck it up and give it a shot

That's honestly I would consider my best quality...its not easy but that's part of being an adult