To despair at how helpless some people are

[ThankYouVeryMuch]

You see it on here all the time, poster says they’re in a difficult situation and lots of people respond with sensible advice and details of organisations they can call for help and there’s always a reason why they can’t ask for help.

I saw a job at a local hair salon advertised on Facebook, 1 person posted “interested” underneath so the salon owner responds with their contact details (that were in the ad) and asks for a cv and the person responds “I don’t have a cv, nevermind” or someone else put on my local Facebook group saying she was new to the area and asking if there were any new mums in the local area, so I responded that there was a lovely, free mum and baby group in her village the next day and I knew the organiser so if she wanted to go along I’d make sure she got a warm welcome, and the response was “I can’t go to a baby group, what if none of the other mums speak to me”

Some people just seem as if the world owes them something and they should get what they want without putting in any effort.

[Tara12]

Why does this bother you? It's inconsequential and a bit nit picking. I have never seen what you are describing either!

[qwertyuiopy]

Tara12 Why does it bother you what bothers other people? Who are you to tell them what they are allowed to be bothered about? Your remark is inconsequential and nitpicking. You are projecting and quite rude.

[Butteredparsn1ps]

Catalinasplas my friends and I all discussed our applications with patents and teachers (mid 80's). Of my friendship group, the 2 who went to RG uni's both had professional, RG educated parents. My point is that even back in the day people accessed help, and some people have access to better quality advice.

My experience is that one of the things that defines successful people is knowing when to ask for help. Not in an unfocused way, such as the OP is referring to; to me that is wilful helplessness, but I'd take an employee who had the gumption to ask for second opinions and listen to advice any day over someone who wants to go it alone.

[Leapfrog44]

We're raising a helpless generation in a practical sense too. Know anyone under 20 who'd know how to grow a carrot, change a tyre (or is it tire??), darn a jumper or who knows what a blackbird eats?

There's no natural selection pressure for intelligence anymore either so I wonder if the human race is getting thicker, despite a larger pool of collective knowledge we have access to.

[neveracceptpoortrading]

How sad that you can't recognise some desperate people lack confidence, are lonely, unhappy, bereaved, separated, divorced etc.
We all need to be prepared to go the extra mile to encourage those that want to (rejoin) be in an inclusive society, but need help.
Lets face it a welcoming, accommodating, happy community is far more enjoyable for ALL

[NordicNobody]

It bothers people because it impacts on them directly. If someone is too helpless (in a lacking problem solving skills and tenacity sort of way) to do something, you can bet they're first resource is going to be to ask every bugger around them to do it for them. If someone can't be arsed to figure out how to cook a meal, and they just eat sandwiches and order takeaways a lot then that doesn't bother me. It's their life. If they think their friends and family should take time out of their lives to cook for them or teach them how, that bothers me (I'm looking at you, former flatmate who couldn't boil an egg ). The majority of the time with the kind of helplessness being talked about on this thread, the latter scenario is the case.

[Tara12]

qwertyuiopy
1 What bothers me is the insidiously hypercritical nature of the comment

1. I am have asked why this would bother someone, it's a fair question.
   
2. It is unecessarily syllogistic to pick up on tiny aspects of one or two comments on social media and turn turn into a syndrome.
   
3. Not sure why my comment bothers you, come to that!

[Tara12]

I have to say, also, social media is hardly a mirror of society. There is a morass of mindlessness, trolling and unkindness.

[crunchymint]

Buttered I went to university in early 80s and had no one to help with the application. I lived in a very poor area and only a handful of kids from the school went to university, none of my friends did. And none of my family had. I had no one who could help. I read the instructions and did it myself.
The internet has made things so much easier. Back in the day if those around did not know how to help you, or would not help, you had to muddle through. Now you can access lots of help.

[HectorPlasm]

Em? Syllogistic?

Runs to Google - daren't ask on this thread ....

[Flutterbyeee]

Anxiety is really inconvenient and annoying for the mentally relaxed isn't it?

Unbelievable

[ralfeesmum]

My brother was one of the job interview panel at the firm he works for. He said that he and the other panel members couldn't believe their eyes when one applicant (and a Uni graduate with a first too!) entered the interview room with BOTH his parents in tow........

He said they sat on either side of the applicant and proceeded to interview the panel! Their sainted son barely muttered a word.

He didn't get the job, Wonder why?

[JuJu2017]

YANBU. My SIL is like this. Think the world owes her something because she’s contributed to the population by having kids. Doesn’t help her that entitled attitude is encouraged by MIL.

[nannykatherine]

i personally blame the internet ..
now people just go online and ask everyone else about things we had to get up and find out ourselves before it existed
now people have no get up and go
it's oh i will go online and ask
but actually when given the info it's oh dear i'm too lazy to get up and do whatever
it was if look for information ourselves
sigh

[Ilovetea33]

This is a minor point, but if you know the best way to a place the rest of the group has never been to before, I think it's a bit mean to just tell them to google it. Why wouldn't you share your knowledge and help them to avoid a detour or a wait for the less convenient bus? Sometimes it's just nice to be nice.

[The80sweregreat]

I not good with DIY (I admit this) Using a drill or putting flat pack furniture together is beyond me. I might be ok if I were shown how - but any instructions and I’m at a loss.

[raspberrysuicide]

It makes me cringe when fully grown adult men phone up their wives/partners etc in the supermarket asking them what to buy.
I feel like shouting MAKE A BLOODY DECISION!

[raspberrysuicide]

Also people who put on facebook what time does Asda/Tesco etc close?

[The80sweregreat]

I look everything up on the internet. They always show opening times of the shops for example. It’s a great tool to use.

[QuinquiremeOfNineveh]

This is a minor point, but if you know the best way to a place the rest of the group has never been to before, I think it's a bit mean to just tell them to google it. Why wouldn't you share your knowledge and help them to avoid a detour or a wait for the less convenient bus? Sometimes it's just nice to be nice.

Sometimes it is. But if you're always the person who makes arrangements, finds out information, gives directions, and no-one else ever makes any effort, you begin to feel taken advantage of.

I worked with someone like that once. She would ask me every time she needed to know something, even though she had the same access to the information as I had. She wouldn't look things up for herself, or make the effort to remember or write things down once she'd been told. She'd worked there longer than I had, so it wasn't that she was new and needed help. She was just mentally lazy, I think.

[crunchymint]

Oh god I used to know someone who always asked for directions to places we were meeting. Just google it.

[Summerscorcherisjustsummer]

Not read thread and I agree with ops first premise. I will say however sometimes people try and be helpful but sometimes people are stuck in situations with no easy obvious way out. Many people have tried all avenues suggested so they may try and nod at the helpful person.. Who is being lovely and they feel awkward.
Because it's obvious what's being suggested and it may not work!!
Also remember people can be totally proficient in one or some aspects of thier lives but are actually inept in others.

Fil is big business man who can't boil an egg or feed his dc if Mil not there and can't do basic DIY and is emotionally inept.

He may get frustrated with his son who is not capable of deal making and hard negotiation. But his son is very adept in the kitchen and with his dc, wife and deeply emotionally intelligent. So it's swings and roundabouts...

[Lethaldrizzle]

The80sweregreat - I taught myself diy cos I was a single mum. Necessity is the mother of getting good at stuff you previously thought you were crap at!

[The80sweregreat]

Leth - I admire women that can do things such as DIY. I took tiles off the wall once and that was good fun - hard work though!

[falang]

I think it's not that people can't boil an egg etc, it's more that they won't. Entirely different things.