Am I crazy or should I be worried?

[flydojd]

I can't actually believe I am writing this, I've been with my fiance for eight years and always trusted him. We've had our problems, but I've never thought he would cheat or anything like that.

He has a rather unusual hobby (can't say what it is as it's so unsual it would be outing), which takes up 2-3 weekends a month. Sometimes he has to travel around the country for it, which means he's away for the whole weekend. This used to be rare, but now it's happening more and more often.

This weekend he's away. He left very early in the morning, and he's staying overnight in a Travelodge (he says). He says he's staying in the same room with a man who also does this hobby. What's really odd is the Travelodge is only 15 miles away. He said he's staying over as there's no point coming back for the night, but the hobby activities finished at about 4pm.

I'm finding this really, really odd, and confronted him about why he's staying at the hotel. He said it's easier for everyone, but I just don't get it?

Wow, maybe I sound crazy. I think this is more of a problem because our sex life has been very infrequent over the last year (once a month or so). I don't even know what I think he's doing, I just think it's odd he's staying at the hotel and questioning everything. Am I insane? Should I push this further with him?

BrewDoggy He doesn’t drive!

Would love to know what his hobby is!!

Maybe it's train spotting. Just had some old steam train go by my house which had loads of crowds come gathered to see. One those lame hobbies I'd be embarrassed to say my other half did. Ah another thread I get into only to never find out the outcome lol.

Tbh if he’s knocking the back out of some bird (or bloke) I reckon he’d come up with a more elaborate excuse than “I’m staying in a travel lodge 15 miles away”

Is he home now OP? What did you do in the end?

@Redtartanshoes

he’d come up with a more elaborate excuse than “I’m staying in a travel lodge 15 miles away”

I wouldn't count on it. The excuses my ex was coming up with in the end were even flimsier 😂 It simply never occurred to me he'd lie. 😂

are you sure it would be so outing if you told us the hobby?

Who cares what the hobby is? The OP doesn't want to say so why are people going on about it?

flydojd, don't say anything this time but say you'd like to join him a few other times. Either to watch the hobby or, if that's not possible because of where/what it is, to socialise with him and his mates a bit.

I would have turned up at the hotel around check out time to 'surprise' him with a lift home.

Sword fighting??? lol

All the Travellodges I have ever stayed in have had a phone in the room [confused

Misses point of the thread.

Is he home ? 🤔

Apart from all the dodgy stuff with the hotel and him sticking like a limpet to his mobile and laptop - I'm all for people doing their own thing but if he spends most of every weekend doing his secret hobby, when do you have time together? I assume you both work full time? It seems utterly selfish to me and I wouldn't be marrying this person.

Is this the hobby where the men sent each other to the sex couldron?

sex cauldron?!?

www.reddit.com/r/idioticshowerthoughts/comments/3rf1xh/thoughts_concerning_the_sex_cauldron_joke_in_the/

Lot of people going on about a taxi forget he's got to get back the next day as well as the hobby is continuing. Sharing a room with a mate could actually save you a bit if cash. Also if it is larping or similar he may not score massively highly on social awareness.

Is the unusual sport Disc Golf? My partner plays this, a few years ago he spent hours each week playing after work, and going away for 2-3 weekends a month (due to the relative paucity of players there weren't that many events so he wanted to go to them all). He would always stay away overnight even though we have a child and some of the events were within driving distance of home, as the first day would finish at about 4pm but there were usually more rounds the next morning; I think he sort of got into a mental 'zone' and wanted to stay there. He tells me it was common for people to stay in a local cheap hotel even if they lived nearby, as they're playing a niche sport everyone knows each other pretty well.
On the plus side if it is disc golf he's unlikely to be cheating with a woman as there are not many women at tournaments...

I read this to DP.
He's on a week long course soon. It's 50 Miles away, with a hotel room included.
He's coming home every night, because he wants to.
He thinks this is BS too.

My first thought was that he could be having an affair with his male friend.

I have two friends who have been left for men; it isn’t as uncommon as you’d imagine.

I hope it’s just a travel logistics issue OP, but the secrecy is a concern.

Is he home yet????

@flydojd Any update? X

Knotting and Larping - snapping and farting?

Keep checking back here for an update!

flydojd

"The only reason I have to be suspicious is he's very secretive with social media/his phone/computer. He goes mad if I touch it and always locks his computer."

The fact that you said he wasnt secretive before only the last few years is what happened with my cheating ex. Unless your partner became secretive because you forgot to tell us that you got caught snooping then that's a big red flag.

Same with the sex life if he's the one not interested and there's no medical reason to explain it or other reason like some men are really put off if their partner gains much weight but are too afraid to tell them.