Am I crazy or should I be worried?

[flydojd]

I can't actually believe I am writing this, I've been with my fiance for eight years and always trusted him. We've had our problems, but I've never thought he would cheat or anything like that.

He has a rather unusual hobby (can't say what it is as it's so unsual it would be outing), which takes up 2-3 weekends a month. Sometimes he has to travel around the country for it, which means he's away for the whole weekend. This used to be rare, but now it's happening more and more often.

This weekend he's away. He left very early in the morning, and he's staying overnight in a Travelodge (he says). He says he's staying in the same room with a man who also does this hobby. What's really odd is the Travelodge is only 15 miles away. He said he's staying over as there's no point coming back for the night, but the hobby activities finished at about 4pm.

I'm finding this really, really odd, and confronted him about why he's staying at the hotel. He said it's easier for everyone, but I just don't get it?

Wow, maybe I sound crazy. I think this is more of a problem because our sex life has been very infrequent over the last year (once a month or so). I don't even know what I think he's doing, I just think it's odd he's staying at the hotel and questioning everything. Am I insane? Should I push this further with him?

To anyone who thinks I'm "unhinged" as I suggested the friend may be a gay lover - it came to my mind as it happened to my mother (my father was found to have a gay lover when I was 8, my parents divorced and he's been out ever since). It's rare but it can and does happen.

@glamorousgrandmother - I thought the Knot as well as I used to be in it, but then you wouldn't stay in a hotel, you'd camp and it would be hard to go by train as most are very rural.

Could be wrong though.

My money is on LARPing too...

Being overly protective of his pc/phone/etc is really, really bad news. He's hiding something. Never good.

Although there is a Sealed Knot event on this weekend so it is a possibility. Still don't get the hotel bit though...

OP - if it is the Knot and he is staying in a hotel then that is incredibly weird and I would be suspicious. In the 18 years I was a Knotter I never heard of anyone staying in a hotel.

(Other re-enactment groups are available)

WTAF is larping?

I always wonder what are all these outing hobbies that MN husbands have....

Seems reasonable to me - who wants to faff around on a train just to go to bed,get up and faff around getting back in the morning when they could have a relaxing evening and morning staying overnight?

Sounds a bit odd if the activity finished at 4ish and is only 15 miles away.
I'd be suspicious too. Especially with the tech secrecy.

I thought LARPing too.
I would definitely turn up to the hotel tho to ‘surprise’ him

Whatsnewwithyou It happened to me - my ex spent Saturday afternoons trekking with his best friend. Turned out they were doing more than just walking.

What is larping and what is knotting???

Live action role playing (think battle re-enactments etc).

Knotting (unless it's an euphemism) is tying knots in yarn.

sealed knotted is enactment of battles

anyway reenactment, knotters, use tents i believe
however op does not have to tell us the activity - she doesnt want to - that is not the point.

Ah yes, I thought it was an euphemism for gay sex

Dodgy as hell.

FuckPants, me too!

Whatsnew I immediately thought 'gay lover' too. We're both unhinged obviously!

This is definitely dodgy op.

I used to work 20 miles from home but travelled home every night

Sealed Knot - Knotters - Knotting - in the Knot.

It's an English Civil War re-enactment group.

It's awesome.

Usually doesn't involve Travelodges however.

I'd be very suspicious OP. The secretive and kicking off about the computer alone would make me suspicious enough.

This used to be rare, but now it's happening more and more often.

Like lots of other posters, I've been on the receiving end so I'd definitely be checking up on him. You don't want to waste years with someone who's messing around every weekend.

Get checked out at a clinic as well.

The train is irrelevant! A TAXI home would cost the same as a night in a travelodge, more or less. The event finishes at 4pm, and he doesn't drink! Why would anyone choose to hang about in a travelodge from 4pm onward when for the same price they could get a cab and be home with their OH by 4.30pm.

BIZARRE

No sign of the OP, she must be regretting having posted... 😞