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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

School play ethical dilemma - do you think this is fair?

203 replies

Sixerseconder · 22/06/2018 22:55

I was just wondering if I could fish for opinions on whether or not this situation is fair. I’m feeling rather conflicted about it, even though it’s my child who benefits.

My dd is 11 and in Year 6. At her school, the two year 6 classes join together to do a play, as one of their end of primary school celebrations. In recent years, the play has been a musical.

My dd is a really good actor, I would say one of the best in her year. She won a school competition last year where all the kids in her year recited a poem from memory - she did a funny one by Roald Dahl and she got to perform in front of the governors. She’s also had major roles in all the previous school plays. She’s confident and she’s funny. I’m not just saying this as a biased Mum - I fully recognise the many things she is absolutely terrible at, including anything sporty. She can’t draw either. But when it comes to exuberant acting and making people laugh, she can do it.

The problem is, the one thing she is shy about is singing. She doesn’t have the most amazing singing voice ever, though she can sing in tune, but she is adamantly opposed to ever singing solo in front of other people.

And the school play this year, as it has been in recent years, is a musical. For this year 6 school play, they held auditions (for previous plays further down the school the kids were asked to write down their top 3 choices of parts and teachers allocated them, my dd always ended up with a big part). And these auditions were singing only, and took place in front of the whole of year 6 and all the year 6 teachers. The children were told they could either sing a song on their own or with some friends, but had to sing at least a few lines solo.

Dd decided not to do a singing audition. I obviously wasn’t there, but dd tells me that almost every other child in Year 6, including all the other girls, auditioned. Many of these kids were clearly terrified of singing in front of so many people, and many couldn’t sing very well or in tune, but, unlike my dd, they faced their fear and did it.

However, when the parts were allocated, my dd was given the main comic role - it’s a role that had a lot of speaking lines, and didn’t have many solo singing lines, and those it had the teachers told her she could sing in a group rather than on her own. She’s in every scene, she loves the role, and she’s so good at it and so funny (I’ve seen a dress rehearsal as I’m helping put costumes and props together.)

But... many of the kids who actually sang by themselves to audition, and who were very shy, and sang very quietly or a bit out of tune, have been given rubbish parts. Two of them don’t actually have any lines, and just follow around my dd (they’re playing her servants, which rubs salt in the wound, somewhat...)

Many of the mothers of the kids in her year are really unhappy with this. They think the auditions were a stitch up and the teachers had decided who would play each part before they even held the auditions. And they don’t think it’s fair that my dd gets a huge, fun part when she didn’t have the courage to audition. I’m not really sure how to respond when I hear these whispers/insinuations, because, on one level, I can see how good my dd is in that part, but on the other hand, I can see the injustice of it.

So, what do you think? Should my dd have been given the main comic role because of her natural acting talent? Or should she not have been given a major part because, unlike other kids who probably have worse voices and far less confidence than her, she couldn’t pluck up the courage to do a solo singing audition?

OP posts:
LeighaJ · 25/06/2018 15:29

In Hollywood many big, well established actors don't have to audition for parts and they may even have a certain actor in mind for the lead role before any casting is done.

Your daughter is already established in the past at her school that she is funny and can act well. It's possible the people who run the school play purposely picked a play with a lead character they knew would suit her because they were more interested in the play being successful then being fair.

Life isn't fair. The other people just sound jealous when even if your daughter had auditioned the result probably would be the same and they'd all be just as jealous still!

LeighaJ · 25/06/2018 15:30

"It's possible the people who run the school play purposely picked a play with a lead character they knew would suit her because they were more interested in the play being successful then being fair."

And that is the fault of the school, not your daughter's.

Pengggwn · 25/06/2018 15:34

In Hollywood many big, well established actors don't have to audition for parts and they may even have a certain actor in mind for the lead role before any casting is done.

Hollywood directors don't have to be fair. Teachers do.

rosesandflowers1 · 25/06/2018 15:48

I don't think it's 'fairly clear' at all that the auditions were to 'scope out' singing talent. I think auditions should be assumed to be auditions

They were singing auditions Confused Of course they were to scope out singing talent. That's the point.

I think the thing that has caused the issue is people assumed that auditions were all that were being considered for the roles. When in reality, it was probably because the teachers had very little idea of who could sing. Of course without the full script (and being a 10/11 year old child who is excited!) they couldn't really be blamed for the misunderstanding. The teachers should have made it clear that some roles, especially those with little/no singing in them, would be decided based on more than the singing auditions.

parts should only be given to those who auditioned.

So - you think the teachers should have not given a talented actress a role because they ran out of time and she was unable to audition?

That would be unfair.

If there were non-singing roles available, why is the OP's child the only one who gets to have one without an audition?

We don't know that there are no other non-singing roles. We only know that the OP's DD, an extremely talented actress who doesn't like to sing, has got a difficult acting role with little/no singing, and that the three best singers were given the main role. There may be many other non singing roles that have been allocated to other children; we don't have the cast list!

We also don't know that she was the only child unable to audition due to time management. It's doesn't really make sense that they didn't have time for one child to recite a poem; there was likely more.

Pengggwn · 25/06/2018 15:52

rosesandflowers1

Well, my mind is made up - I believe this approach to be deeply unfair. I see you don't, but that's up to you.

rosesandflowers1 · 25/06/2018 15:58

participating in a school play can be a great opportunity for a child to find out if they're any good or not. It's a very particular sort of thing, unlike many sports, and it's not that easy to create an opportunity for yourself later in life experiment with it. It seems a shame not to give as many people as possible that chance, on another level.

They do do bits of acting in class, don't they? Make freeze frames or little plays as a way of learning? My DC had to do that all the time in primary school, I remember my DS absolutely hated it.

I'm not sure if you saw my earlier post, but I was saying that most kids will have actual Drama lessons when they get to secondary school. Better organised lessons, with actual specialists and more structure and focus. If the child is genuinely good at or interested in acting, they'll have their chance then. If not, there are fantastically cheap places where they can do it as an activity, often paired with other Performing Arts like singing and dance.

For me, being in a production is like going to a sports tournament or a spelling bee. I'd be annoyed if my child's PE teacher expected them to sit at the side while the children with good hand-eye coordination got to play tennis, and I'd be fuming if my child's teacher didn't bother giving my child English homework because they weren't naturally very attuned to spelling and grammar. I would not be annoyed if my child was bad at cricket and didn't get chosen for a competition, or if they were bad at spelling and a better child was chosen.

Kids should all have an equal chance and equal attention in lessons etc. But when it comes to stuff like this, the talented kids who will really benefit from the experience deserve to have their time in the limelight for what they're good at.

bonbonours · 25/06/2018 15:59

It should have been possible to audition for speaking parts OR singing or both. Not everyone is good at everything and everyone should be to show off their talent. Obviously the school knew your daughter would suit the role and gave it to her. If they had thought other kids who didn't audition would be good they would have given them parts too.

rosesandflowers1 · 25/06/2018 15:59

I see you don't, but that's up to you.

IMO, poor communication, not unfairness.

Well, agree to disagree!

Colbu24 · 25/06/2018 16:06

Ultimately the school wants a great performance.
Accept their decision it has nothing to do with you.
The other children I'm sure are used to not getting parts. It happens in every primary school in country.
It's the last year just enjoy it. It's going to be a great show.

Middleoftheroad · 25/06/2018 16:09

School plays are always unfair, with the favourites getting lead roles each time (yawn).

Mine were trees or sheep each year and always at the back. I grew tired of little Arabella's solo each year, while the PTA chair's son conveniently landed the male lead each year.

They'll just have to suck it up, but it is annoying.

Fresta · 25/06/2018 16:26

You'd all be complaining if you went to watch the show and it was rubbish because the main parts were all taken by children who couldn't sing, were shy, couldn't remember their lines, couldn't speak clearly, etc. while all the talented children had minor roles and stood at the back. There's a reason why it's the same kids each year- it's because they are more able and they keep the play afloat- you just can't turn take with drama and still do a good production! it doesn't work like that. As if teachers keep a record anyway! As if you say to the best child- sorry, no you can't be lead because you were it 3 years ago- I'll have to have someone less talented than you! Auditions are useful to throw up any hidden talents, but mostly teachers will have in mind who will be good a role.

There's also a reason why PTA kids seem to have good roles- it's not because they are getting favours- it's because they are confident parents-who produce confident children! Whinging complaining parents produce whinging complaining less confident children who are less suited to performing in front others!

Pengggwn · 25/06/2018 16:44

You'd all be complaining if you went to watch the show and it was rubbish because the main parts were all taken by children who couldn't sing, were shy, couldn't remember their lines, couldn't speak clearly, etc. while all the talented children had minor roles and stood at the back.

I don't think these are the two choices, are they?

Just make sure the talented children who want to audition do so alongside the less talented who want to audition.

And if they don't want to audition, don't cast them.

Cobrider · 25/06/2018 19:02

The other children I'm sure are used to not getting parts. It happens in every primary school in country

Hmm
midnightmisssuki · 25/06/2018 19:25

so your dd didn’t audition and still got the main role? Sorry OP but I can see where the other parents are coming from....

Dramatics · 25/06/2018 19:32

I wouldn't say the Queen of Hearts is the main role, if it's anything like the Alice play one of mine did. It does sound like it was a badly organised and I can see why there's disappointment. My Yr6 child's school are doing Oliver and the class teacher is cast as Fagan. There's a few disappointed children who've got one liners as Child 1 etc but apparently it was felt it needed an adult for Fagan's part for the age aspect Confused

bathildab · 25/06/2018 19:39

I wouldn't worry. My DD was similar and loved every second of her experience. Drama in Y7 in her high performing school has been one bitter pill after another. Just enjoy it while it lasts. There are always ructions over the Y6 play. It all blows over!

Oliversmumsarmy · 26/06/2018 02:57

There's also a reason why PTA kids seem to have good roles- it's not because they are getting favours- it's because they are confident parents-who produce confident children! Whinging complaining parents produce whinging complaining less confident children who are less suited to performing in front others*

There was a thread quite recently about how to make your child more confident.

I don't think anyone came up with the suggestion, Join the PTA.

petrolpump28 · 26/06/2018 06:31

Do you think there is a chance you have lost a sense of perspective here? I think an ethical dilemma might be something along the lines of shall I leave my country or stay and risk being killed.

MargaretCavendish · 26/06/2018 07:35

I think an ethical dilemma might be something along the lines of shall I leave my country or stay and risk being killed.

No, OP's fine but you don't know what 'ethical dilemma' means.

petrolpump28 · 26/06/2018 07:41

What is the moral imperative in this case please?

Fresta · 26/06/2018 09:28

oliversmummy- I didn’t say joining the PTA would make your child confident! Do you have a hard time comprehending generally? I said the type of parents that join the PTA- especially those that go for chair and responsibility roles- are usually more confident outgoing people and therefore have confident outgoing children.

user1485342611 · 26/06/2018 15:38

I have never seen or heard of a child getting leading roles, despite being inferior actors, because their mum is on the PTA.

Is this a myth, or does it actually happen?

Chickychoccyegg · 26/06/2018 16:51

well speaking from experience I find schools give (big /main) parts to the same children every , and give the rubbish parts to the kids wirh less confidence, who could also do a good job if given a chance.
my dd recently auditioned for a school play, school said she did a great audition, was a musical, lots of singing , she's an average singer, all main parts were given to the same children that got all the main parts last year, and none of them are particularly talented at singing or acting, no better or worse than most of the class, I think schools play favourites

Fresta · 26/06/2018 18:17

It's a complete myth user- I've never met a teacher who even cared about the PTA! They are usually something teacher's try to have a little involvement in as possible in my experience.

BewareOfDragons · 26/06/2018 18:39

I've yet to see a primary school production that wasn't pretty rubbish, and I've seen a lot of them. A lot. In different primary schools.

So it is rather silly for teachers not to spread out the good parts to children who genuinely want to have a go. The play isn't going to be great anyway...

Now secondary school, plays and musicals start to get really good! Because they're full of children who really want to be there, not 'everyone' because they 'have' to.