Aibu to think “loola” and “noony” aren’t words interchangeable with genitals?!

[Mightymelon]

And that cutesy words for your genitals help NOBODY AT ALL?

To cut a long story short - I’m friends with a girl, who has seen one of those posts on Facebook, about correctly naming genitals to avoid confusion when kids have uti’s or worse, have been abused.
DF mentioned that in this thread as well as the willy/mini/front bottom names loola and noony being used by children instead of vagina/ vulva and penis, and said she’d never heard of it before. Nor have I?

Firstly I would like to know if IABU to have never heard of these words?

SECONDLY I WOULD LIKE TO URGE YOU WITH EVERY OUNCE OF MY BEING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS APPROPRIATE WORDS FOR THEIR GENITALS SO THAT IF ANYTHING’s WRONG THE ADULTS WHO DEAL WITH IT (TEACHERS/CHILDMINDERS/HCP’s/THE POLICE) CAN DO SO WITH AS LITTLE TRAUMA AND FUSS AS POSSIBLE!!

infinite

I will fight against any furthering of this peadphohile culture we live in and question anyone who, despite armed with the facts, continues to teach little girls that their genitals are a playful, naughty toy that should be discussed in code words and hushed voices.

I’m also not a ‘liberal’ I’ve been straight up radical for 20 years.

Lol. No, it doesn't worry me who is. Will you listen to yourself?

Bart

Boys aren’t really so much the concern, they have less internal sexual organs and they are far less likely to be abused.

and just FYI, your assumption that children have no agency or imagination of their own is just as worrying to me as whatever you think of my parenting.

Findo

Wow. I would be very keen to find out where these unique and ‘outtable’ words come from.

Because that’s not healthy for all the reasons already given.

“Lol”

So you're heavily implying that my daughters are being abused because they use their own word for their genitalia, though they both know the correct anatomical terms?

And you claim to be a social work professional of some kind?

OK then!

Find

You seem to think this is all a big joke. I’m sort of glad of that as it means you’ve not had to deal with the darker side of it all but please don’t be so belligerent as to think there IS no darker side.

There is. It’s shit and it shouldn’t matter but it does matter.

No I’m not a social worker.

I just know enough about the topic to not laugh about it and brush it off as irrelevant.

If my kids created secret names for their genitals I would tell them to use the correct names, because I know how importanr it is

@CantankerousCamel so you are seriously saying that if a child said 'gana' or 'papy'. The social workers wouldn't be able to ever find out that it was a 'Nanny' or a 'grandad' doing the abusing because the child hadn't said 'nanny' or 'grandad'. Children do not always have the vocabulary to say what happened. They use alternative language. We didn't cover this 'case'. If it really is a real case then it's far more about the SW complete inability to do her job, and complete lack of a single brain cell than it is about the child not using the correct names.

Still not a feminist issue. Women died to get us the vote. Please don't trivialise it. Men have rude words for their penis. Cock!!!

Where did I say this is all 'a big joke'? I first posted to say that girls can know both the correct anatomical terms for genitalia and have their own words, just as boys do, and gave my own experience as an example. You then accused me of confusing my children with doublespeak and implied I was allowing them to be abused by persons unknown.

But I'm belligerent. Right-o.

mumma

A child has to be flagged to be put in front of a social worker. If they talk about their genitals as a toy/pet/food they may never be flagged up.

And yes, men have got away with awful abuse because the defence have successful argued that the child’s pet name is ambiguous so it cannot be proved that genitals were involved.

all it takes is a shadow of doubt to ruin a court case. Don’t give them one.

Findo

Anyone who can use the term ‘lol’
In a conversation like this I can only assume is not capable of really taking it as seriously as is necessary.

Lots of people have explained why childish names are a bad idea. It’s not just the abuse factor it’s also a culture of secrecy and shame regarding speaking about bodies

You are starting to sound a bit loola tbf. graphista made the most sense of the lot of you. You can still teach bodily autonomy and privacy without explaining to your 3 year old the difference between their clitoris and their vaginal opening FFS.

Graphistas advice goes against every piece of literature released by child protection agencies and any advice any SW or childcare protection professional will give you.

But yeah go along with it because the thought of a three year old correctly naming their vulva is so awful for you.

mummybear but ‘gany’ or ‘papy’ are approximate common terminologies for grandparents’ names. It’s because children don’t have the vocabulary, language skills and confidence that you arm them with the correct words. Even if pronunciation isn’t great it’s better than calling Granny ‘fluffy’, pronounced ‘wuffy’ and Poppy ‘elf’.

A child who is very young, or has delays, or speech/language issues has a chance of expressing her needs and concerns she can articulate ‘gina but much less if she’s talking
about ‘oooaaa’ (hoohaa).

Well, it's true that I don't take you seriously, Cantankerous. I'm afraid you lost that battle when you started accusing me of allowing my children to be abused.

I'm interested whether you have children?

Still not a feminist issue. Women died to get us the vote. Please don't trivialise it

Crikey. Do you really apply a scale to whether something is a feminist issue?

Or course it’s a feminist issue; people are perpetuating the thought that the female body is shameful by using ridiculous euphemisms. There are, of course, slang terms of penis. Which are prevalent in society. Falling over oneself to find a non-offensive term for a vulva is crackers; count how many are on this thread!

The greatest disservice we do our children is not giving them the tools to communicate succinctly and effectively about their own bodies.

Graphista said this:

“TEACH children bodily autonomy - at ALL levels and yes that inc not being made to kiss/hug hairy/smelly aunty Susan goodbye!

TRUST your instincts if you think an adult has poor boundaries, has inappropriate intentions

BELIEVE children when they disclose

DEAL with disclosures appropriately

DISPEL all the myths around csa and rape.”

Sounds like common sense to me. If that goes against social work guidelines maybe someone needs to take a look at them.

Findo then there’s no point in us continuing to have a conversation.
My stance on this issue is that it is very serious. Yours is ‘lolz’

Honestly my wish to converse with you about my children is nil.

Jacques I guess I don't understand why you think men should be allowed to use colloquial terms for their genitalia but women shouldn't be. That doesn't sit right with me. I don't think using colloquial words implies body shame - though I wouldn't disagree that is an issue for women and girls, and definitely one I address with my own girls.

Cantankerous Likewise.

Frog
Graph disagreed with the importance of teaching and insisting on correct names for genitalia.

That is what is against SW policy and the only thing that really matters here.

We are parents discussing what parents can do to support children. Droning on about how children are flagged or what happens when they are is irrelevant because that’s not change we can invoke. Using correct names IS change we can invoke, right now and is shown to be very effective at protecting children.

It’s a no-brainer

Most of the colloquial terms for penises seem to be understood by all though, so there’s less of a chance of a small boy being misinterpreted. If he talks about his willy people would generally get it. If his family refers to his penis as a ‘miaow’ or a ‘warlock’, less so.

ha - I like 'warlock'! As I've said, I do see the importance of teaching children - both boys and girls - the correct anatomical words and mine have both known those since they were very little.

In my view, the very lack of commonly accepted, innocuous (ie, not pussy, cunt, or twat) words for female genitalia is a problem in and of itself.

FindoGask

I’m saying that the euphemisms for male genitalia tend to be understood by all. So someone says “dick” or “willy” it’s patently obvious what they’re talking about. Whereas you look at the names people are using for female genitalia and they’re deliberately masking.

Plus of course there’s the fact that females have a wider range of places to discuss! Males have “willy” and “balls”.