Aibu to think “loola” and “noony” aren’t words interchangeable with genitals?!

[Mightymelon]

And that cutesy words for your genitals help NOBODY AT ALL?

To cut a long story short - I’m friends with a girl, who has seen one of those posts on Facebook, about correctly naming genitals to avoid confusion when kids have uti’s or worse, have been abused.
DF mentioned that in this thread as well as the willy/mini/front bottom names loola and noony being used by children instead of vagina/ vulva and penis, and said she’d never heard of it before. Nor have I?

Firstly I would like to know if IABU to have never heard of these words?

SECONDLY I WOULD LIKE TO URGE YOU WITH EVERY OUNCE OF MY BEING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS APPROPRIATE WORDS FOR THEIR GENITALS SO THAT IF ANYTHING’s WRONG THE ADULTS WHO DEAL WITH IT (TEACHERS/CHILDMINDERS/HCP’s/THE POLICE) CAN DO SO WITH AS LITTLE TRAUMA AND FUSS AS POSSIBLE!!

It doesn’t matter if you’re a professional though. I’m trying and clearly failing as I’m so tired to convey that all professionals need to know that children and vulnerable adults will use various words.

There are lots of reasons a disclosure may be misunderstood by someone who isn't trained properly to look and listen for the right signs/words.

But the majority of reception children know, even if they don't always use, the correct terminology for their bodies. My own children were taught penis from the minute they could speak but always used the word willy when talking about it.

And because children use colloquialisms to describe their genitalia, (even when they know the proper terminology) it's up to the professionals to make themselves aware of those names. It's no different to the police making sure they know all the slang and local names for drugs being used on their patch.

X post cantankerous

Sunny

And they do. But we are talking about a three year old looking at a video of Minnie Mouse and saying ‘my uncle kisses my Minnie’ because she associates the name.

Childcare providers can’t jnow all the stupid names people make up to avoid using actual words.

People need to just use actual words.

Obviously other signs are looked for, but ffs we need to do our bit to protect our children

Yebbut foof is always amusing. And Minnie makes me think of my great aunt

As a survivor of csa, I think it's MORE important to

TEACH children bodily autonomy - at ALL levels and yes that inc not being made to kiss/hug hairy/smelly aunty Susan goodbye!

TRUST your instincts if you think an adult has poor boundaries, has inappropriate intentions

BELIEVE children when they disclose

DEAL with disclosures appropriately

DISPEL all the myths around csa and rape.

"abusers are less likely to abuse a child who uses the correct terminology" calling bullshit on this - evidence?

Children are more likely in my experience to be reluctant to use the proper terms as they view them as 'rude' they speak more freely if allowed to use euphemisms.

SUnny and nokids
I fully understand what you’re saying, but when this slang words are so ambiguous it would seem insane to knowingly let your child call their vagina/vulva a money box.

One of the first case studies we discussed as SW was a case in which a young girl explained her step father had abused her but used childish language ‘minnie’ I think The Childcare professional assumed it was a doll being discussed and the abuse continued.

RE that case study - we were told it was a 16 year old girl who was the adult and they’d been looking at Minnie and mickey in nursery

A 16yr old girl is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a childcare professional.

We need to stop teaching children that it’s rude to discuss their bodies

nokid
A person working in a nursery is a childcare professional

@Cantankerous

No they really aren't

Agree
Sadly lots of adults can't say vagina and confuse vulva and vagina.
Stop this squeamishness about female anatomy. I think it's because we are conditioned to think female genitals are shameful/dirty and it will upset men if we mention them.
My pre schooler knows what a JYNA is and that she came out of mine

Those two names been used by masses of people for at least the past 20 years!

Does it matter whether the 16yo was a professional or not, the fact of the matter is that a disclosure was made that would have been picked up on if the child had used the correct anatomical terms for their own body.

I was taught "botty" for vagina so I have a botty and a bum, currently teaching my girls this because it always made sense to me. At least it's reasonably identifiable as a body part (!)

Not sure about the noonie and Minnie thing I think that's a southern thing from where I've seen it discussed online previously?

@butler really? We’ve had clarification on noony but not loola,
All I can think of is that loola prom, the one that weighed a ton and came with the maxi cosi creatis fix car seat

To clarify, I’m not saying we shouldn’t encourage children to use the correct terminology but that message won’t reach certain parts of society. Their children will, sadly, remain vulnerable and professionals should never make assumptions.

I don’t know if the exact words were “my uncle kisses my Minnie” but a childcare worker should be flagging that up with someone senior. Anyone working with vulnerable individuals, be they 16 or 60, needs to know that child and vulnerable adults will use all sorts of terminology and they need to be clued in. We cannot miss things and make excuses because the 4 year old girl cannot pronounce vagina.

Botty is a slang term for bum here.

@Graphista, this is what I was told by the person running the course I will try and find some evidence for you. Children only find correct terms embarrassing if adults show embarrassment when using them, no-one thinks children shouldn't be taught the word nipple, why should penis, vagina, vulva etc be different?

I was told the stats during a SW degree course, my will to drag my way through google to ‘prove’ it is nil.

The fact is that correct names protect children. What people who work in nurseries should or shouldn’t do is not relevant here, what is relevant is what we, as parents can do to protect children and this is very simple

Just tried to find it and it's a 1995 study, can't find a direct link to it I'm afraid

My 2yr old’s nickname is noonie, thanks to her older sister, and has been since birth. Until a month ago we had no idea this is also an alternative name for genitals (because in our house your front bottom is a vulva, why the fuck would you call it anything else...)

Not helpful, but where I am 'loola' is slang for someone who is a bit ditzy/daft. "Oh she's a bit loola that one".
I've definitely never heard it in relation to describing genitals.

I was taught "botty" for vagina

Round here, botty means bum, not vagina. Which really adds to the points made in favour of using the proper words, because using the same term for two different things could cause confusion.

And I've never heard the terms loola and noony.