Aibu to think “loola” and “noony” aren’t words interchangeable with genitals?!

[Mightymelon]

And that cutesy words for your genitals help NOBODY AT ALL?

To cut a long story short - I’m friends with a girl, who has seen one of those posts on Facebook, about correctly naming genitals to avoid confusion when kids have uti’s or worse, have been abused.
DF mentioned that in this thread as well as the willy/mini/front bottom names loola and noony being used by children instead of vagina/ vulva and penis, and said she’d never heard of it before. Nor have I?

Firstly I would like to know if IABU to have never heard of these words?

SECONDLY I WOULD LIKE TO URGE YOU WITH EVERY OUNCE OF MY BEING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS APPROPRIATE WORDS FOR THEIR GENITALS SO THAT IF ANYTHING’s WRONG THE ADULTS WHO DEAL WITH IT (TEACHERS/CHILDMINDERS/HCP’s/THE POLICE) CAN DO SO WITH AS LITTLE TRAUMA AND FUSS AS POSSIBLE!!

We use pet names and proper words in this house. Though pet names are more usual because I like the sound of them better. I agree it is important that children know.

The shame associated with certain parts of the body exists irrespective of language. If children are used to associating embarrassment with their genitals, it won't matter what you call them.

Also I've heard just as many pet names for boys as girls. Tail being my least favourite.

I won't tell you my children call theirs it's woefully embarrassing but at the same time they have always known the anatomically correct names. They're never going to drop into a conversation with me that their outer labia is itchy.

If a child was complaining of her noonie being sore, you'd ask her where she means. A young child would most likely be holding said area anyway.

I think anyone working with kids who wouldn't guess what a child meant when they used any of these mentioned terms probably shouldn't be working with them.

By all means teach your child the real words if you want but don't you dare blame a parent for their child being abused just because they taught the word Noonoo or botty. An abuser will abuse regardless of what the child calls his or her private parts.

anyone would identify with familiar names for children’s bits. It’s common sense

Really? So far on this thread we’ve had noony, hooha, loola, minnie, milly, Tilly, tea, tuppance, flower, fairy and botty.

If a little girl is talking about her “tea” or her “flower” it wouldn’t be common sense to me to automatically think she’s referring to her genitals.

my mum use to say "mary" when we was little. found it so bloody random!

myotherusername It’s true that an articulate, confident child complaining that their noonie had been touched would be able to make their meaning completely clear.

But would an anxious child with a speech and language delay talking about “tea” or “flower” make their meaning as clear? At least if they know the correct words they’re more likely to attract the attention of a busy child care worker who’s attending to multiple children’s needs similtaneously.

Is willy ok? I don't feel that's a childish term personally. I think it's every bit as appropriate as 'penis'.

nolonger Tea and flower probably not. Noonie, twinkle, tuppence yes they should know what is meant as they only make sense in that they are covering for another word. At the very least they justify a follow up question.

Having child friendly words for genetalia isn't unique to the UK so maybe many parents feel better with them.

Which means what we really need is universal pet names so there would be no confusion.

I wouldn’t think vulva or vagina if I heard ailing child say twinkle, or tuppance either. Maybe it’s a UK thing? Especially if they had an expressive speech delay.

Boys have fairly universal pet names like willy, doodle that pretty much everyone would get. There are too many for girls and too many are nouns with other meanings, like tea, flower and fairy.

I think that naming has to be done so that meaning is completely clear even if less than ideal circumstances like a speech-delayed, anxious child in a noisy environment trying to communicate with a busy child-care worker. So why not just use proper names, or close to?

Doodle is one I've never heard and having worked with children, I've heard a few.

The issue is not that you know what the word means to them. It's the context they use it in.

If I said my Noonie hurt. You'd know something hurt. You'd know that you either didn't hear me correctly or it is something I've given a nonsense name to. Things with nonsense names are usually private parts but the next logical thing to say would be 'your what hurts?'

I agree that it’s the context that’s important but a child with a speech delay is going to struggle to articulate that context. “My noonie hurts” is a 3 word sentence which a speech delayed 3 year old could find challenging. Whereas the same child saying “gina” would have more auditory impact in a busy environment than one saying “oonie”.

Once things get to the notification stage then child protection workers have the skills and the time to work out whatever noun or made up name the child has been taught to use but it’s more likely to get to notification stage if people understand what they mean.

All children should be taught that anything in the underpants are called 'privates'.

Within that 'bottom' is absolutely fine and 'willy' 'penis' for a boy and 'front bottom' for a girl.

It keeps it simple and leaves no room for any doubt about what they are talking about.

Kids should be taught the pants area is private to them and no one should see it except Mum/Dad/carer etc.

The ignorance on this thread from parents who have know idea why this is important is really quite astonishing.

Within that 'bottom' is absolutely fine and 'willy' 'penis' for a boy and 'front bottom' for a girl.

I find 'front bottom' the oddest and most annoying of all. Reducing female anatomy to a qualifier other body part? Nope.

Vagina and penis here. We tried vulva but since half the women I know don't use that, I think using the most obviously identifiable word was best. Since I don't have a bloody stupid name for her elbow or nose, why would I for a functional part of her body?

‘Noonie’ is a common name for grandmother here.

I think unless you’ve had to read interviews where children have had to be asked increasingly uncomfortable questions by police officers because at 12 they don’t know what a vulva, vagina or clitoris is and just call their genitals ‘foof’

Then perhaps you don’t get it.

But the science my shows very clearly that yes, you give your children the correct names for their genitals, they’re far less likely to be victims of sexual abuse.

Why ANYONE would continue to talk about genitals in any other terms than clear, concise and correct ones after that basic information is beyond me.

‘Front bottom’ is absurd

It suggests that the outer labia are the defining factor.

Young girls and women need to know each area of their genitalia. It’s important for their self awareness and growth as well as being horribly limiting if something awful happens and they need to discuss it.

I just checked, and my daughters (6 and 9) know the correct anatomical names for both their internal and external genitalia. They still use names they've made up 'in house', and that is totally fine by me.

Find

Why are you telling them they need ‘special names’ to use for their genitals?

Just wondering what the logic is here

One of the first case studies we discussed as SW was a case in which a young girl explained her step father had abused her but used childish language ‘minnie’ I think

Absolutely not true. A child uses a lot of language to describe these things and by not calling your vagina a Vagina the abuse does not get overlooked. That's the most ridiculous thing Ive ever read and a shocking example of scaremongering.

It's a feminist issue. This is just bloody laughable. Why done we stick to things that actually are! A boy has many, many nicknames for a penis. Not just willy. Ffs!!

mumma
Three of us (so far) have studied the same case study.

Why would we be lying? What possibly reason would we have for saying ‘this protects childen’ Unless we know that to be true?

Of course it’s a feminist Izzy that all colloquial slang for female genitalia is considered too rude to say and hugely offensive to call someone.

Cunt is a perfect example.

Unintentional, please share your woefully embarrassing names for genitals! I bet it would make us all laugh.

I will resist all attempts to police our language by faux liberals backed by false information and spurious 'facts'

Cantankerous what's with the assumptions? I'm not 'telling' them to use any 'special' (wtf?) names - they have their own minds. I'd tell you the name they use, as I find it hilarious, but it's a bit outing, as I've told pals before - it's very similar to a colloquial term for people from a particular UK town.

Findo

If you’re not teaching your children to use these incredibly unique names for their genital, Does it not worry you who is?

Surely if a boy refers to his johnson everyone knows he means his dingdong?