what happened in the shop..

[Butterflykissess]

i was at the shops earlier and had a basket full of shopping, i went to the self checkout (before anyone suggest i use the tills in future i want to state that i suffer from anxiety and find it difficult so i use the self service.).. anyway as i had quite abit of shopping the whole amount wouldnt fit so i decided it was best to do it in two transactions. after i had finished i decided to leave a few bits behind (left in the basket) anyway as i went to walk off the man shouted "excuse me do you want this stuff!" i said "no sorry im leaving that behind" thinking it was flipping obvious if i was walking away, but whatever.

anyway he then says to me "well what about the pampers" hanging onto my clip on the pram. i said i had already paid for them, he asked for my receipt, meanwhile bare in mind everyone was staring at me! panicked i started to go through the bags looking for it but couldnt find it. he then accused me of trying to steal them! i was so humilated. i asked him to check the cctv. at this point the whole place was starting at me.

anyway as he walked off to check the cctv i found the receipt in my pocket. i went over put the receipt down infront of him and said "there is the receipt." i didnt even hang around i walked straight out but i am so humiliated. safe to say i cant go in there again! aibu to think it could have been done more discreet?

butterflykisses I think you have had some very harsh responses on this thread.

The actual details of what happened during this incident- the leaving the items, the use of the pram etc are all distractions.

None of that is actually important.

You actually did nothing wrong or illegal.

The thing that is important is the fact you seem to be struggling with every day simple activities that should be easy and are having such over reactions to every day stuff that should be simply annoyances.

And that is very concerning and to me a real sign that you need help.

I use one when I'm going to pitch to a new client. So much presentation stuff and art to show etc. So it's much easier than going back and forth with boxes. I got a plain black one and had it embroidered with my business logo all over. But you can get nice colours and designs or embroider your own.
They aren't all tartan granny trolleys.

But hey, you have secret anxiety which is affecting your life. You're now going to drag your kids on a bus because you can't possibly enter that shop again... But it's not a problem and you don't need treatment and it's not affecting your kids. So why would you ever consider another simple solution like a trolley.

What?? Wtf is wrong with a shopping trolley??

You've also lashed out at everyone on here. Which is worrying. If you can't discuss your mistakes without lashing out, that's a problem. Your children need to see that it's possibly to discuss errors without getting aggressive or upset. Or they will turn into very difficult adults.

You deserved to be made a scene of for leaving shopping behind, you wouldn't go to a manned till and leave items behind would you? Why would you even have them in your basket if you weren't intending on buying them? Shop assistant probably wanted to make a scene of you purely because of this but don't think it's an issue soooooo, good luck finding a new shop I guess

It sounds quite a practical suggestion. Or if you have style problems with it, what about a cheap cabin rucksack on wheels?

and sorry if i walk round a shop with a screaming baby then people will be moaning about that! so i picked her up, you really cant win.

Your anxiety seems to manifest in a very curious way, OP, because you sure do find some gumption when it comes to snapping back at perfectly reasonable sugestions and comments on here . . .

Sorry OP, you lost me at your comment about the shopping trolley. People are trying to help you and offer solutions but you can't accept them.
Why bother posting if you can't accept other opinions?

wouldn't go to a manned till and leave items behind would you?

actually people leave items by the side all the time.

and ive not lashed out ive defended myself.

butterflykisses- what's going wrong?

You seem very wound up, angry, carrying a lot of stress and negative emotion around with you.

Have things been difficult for you recently?

well its pointless suggesting slings i obviously dont use one because i dont want to. i find dd too heavy in them so i wouldnt go out without a pram.

I found the sling too heavy too, so got the backpack one. Changed my life. Made going out so much easier... didn't need to worry about pram access, and had both arms free. Kids both loved it too - got a good view. Would that make a difference?

Honestly, you find shopping an anxiety ridden activity... we're trying to suggest things to make it easier. Stop being so rude.

Why do you expect to be dealt with courteously when clearly you show no courtesy towards the shop staff who have to put back the stuff you decided you couldn't carry. If you treat others the way you wish to be treated you might find life a lot easier!

Butterflykisses
Pmd you please read

Ok so in the beginning your behaviour was odd. you put so much stuff in to a basket that was too much so you had to do 2 transactions? that makes no sense. So you were acting weird then (drawing attention to yourself). then you left some stuff in the basket, without telling anybody, which is rude.
I would definitely have thought you were shifty and wondered if you had forgotten to pay for the nappies i think. The way he dealt with it sounds very unprofessional and embarassing though.
The way you've replied to advice about a sling, carrier and then your very strange opinions about "not wanting to be seen dead with a trolley" is also odd. i imagine you were acting really weirdly overall which made him suspect you.

sorry but wouldnt be seen dead with a shopping trolley!

Why on earth not? I'm genuinely interested

What's wrong with a shopping trolley

I think your behaviour was a bit odd to be honest and why did you put things in the basket if you didn’t want them? I use self service and although the scales aren’t massive I’ve never had to make more than one transaction, just pile up or tell the guy hanging around and he’ll scan his code so you can remove the stuff already on there etc

Hi everyone.
Just thought we should post a polite reminder for everyone to try to be mindful of the way they word their posts. We really want Mumsnet to be a place that people can feel supported by each other, rather than attacked. We don't want to have to delete whole threads, especially when lots of Mumsnetters have taken the trouble to respond kindly.
Thank you all.
Enjoy your weekends,
Kim
Mumsnet HQ

I guess he could have been more discreet but it's easy to say that when you're innocent - as far as he's concerned you could have been guilty and he was required to apprehend you. So I would cut him some slack.

Also YABVU to leave things in the basket at the til. That's just lazy and makes things much more difficult for the people behind you and for the shop staff. Just mention it to someone next time, or put the stuff you don't want back yourself.

I haven't RTFT but if you aren't already seeking help for anxiety you really ought to.

sorry but wouldnt be seen dead with a shopping trolley!

I'm also extremely curious re the reason for this!

I use a shopping trolley sometimes! Love it!

Why are you ignoring all the helpful posts, OP? The ones from people who have been in your situation and know exactly how it feels, but sought help.

Why are you burying your head in the sand over the damage your anxiety will do to your family?

She's already said she miscalculated how much it all cost and couldn't afford to buy it all. Leave her alone.