To steer DH away from this woman?

[Incywincyquincy]

So dh became facebook friends with a woman from school whose child is in dd's class. All innocent - I know her too and chat regularly. However, he seems to have a bit of a crush on her and I think she's noticed. It is noticeable that every picture she posts and every question she asks, he responds to instantly. Some might say he is being helpful, but she has started to notice and has mentioned in a jokey way that she feels a bit awkward about it.

How do I gently steer him away from doing this without embarrassing him or telling him what she has said?

Play dumb and say “Ooh you’ll never guess! Some bloke has been stalking Maureen on FB and apparently she’s told her husband and he’s gone ballistic and he’s going to pay this bloke a visit with a couple of his mates!!”

Haha at whatshallido pompous statement. Expert in Human behaviour
Experts are rarely self proclaimed and they accept their own infallibility
If you are indeed expert you’ll understand human behaviour has no one defining or definitive clinical approach. So you’re not expert in human behaviour you’re simply opinionated

Honestly, if you don’t feel up to being direct about it perhaps you should leave it to your friend’s DH if she has one. I bet he won’t have a problem setting him straight.

Seriously

He's being a disrespectful arse to you & making a fool of you both to boot. I wouldn't be protecting the snow flakes feels, I would be tearing him a new arsehole. Stop being a doormat

I agree with Thumbcat

@FlockOfDogs so why is it only creditable if the MAN in the relationship is not happy?? FFS it's nothing to do with her partner, the WOMAN concerned is what matters!

You know women like you feed misogynistic wankers like the OPs OH!

There is clearly something very wrong here.

Just joking before caused a "massive row". I've no idea If that's a normal massive marital row, or something much worse. None of us do. But it tells us she had already noticed his behaviour towards this woman and she doesn't want to go there again with him.

All we know is this woman had a word with rhe op about her husbands behaviour. It doesn't matter if we would personally block or say to the wife. The woman in question chose to speak to thr wife. End of.

The op is too scared to tell her husband directly. So She wants help on how to do it. Without telling him what her friend said, and without embarrassing him. I think we all have to assume due to the repercussions she may face.

I've genuinely no idea how she can do it. But telling her to just tell him, or tell the woman to block him, isn't going To work here.

If this really is someone suffering from domestic violence, clearly the only solution is how to get out.

Right now op, if you are scared of him, you're going to have to let this woman put up with his attention and focus on yourself, your safety and any kids you may haves safety..

It does sound like the OP is scared of her husband. It sounds like whatever she says he'll shoot the messenger. If you really can't say something straight to him could you get a friend or relative to say something like they've noticed? Hopefully the woman will start ignoring him too or defriend him. He's embarrassing you as well as himself.

The woman wouldn't have to block him on Facebook, she could add him to her acquaintances list and then change posts from the likely default of "friends" to "friends except acquaintances". He wouldn't see what she posts in future unless she changes it back to "friends" or "public" but he wouldn't know (for a while anyway) that he was missing out. It might be enough to break the pattern.

@GeorgeW78 but why the guck should she? Why not just be upfront and say stop it you bloody loon!!!

Guck - fuck

I know that but I was taking on board the possible DV.

@GeorgeW78 DV is not dealt with by pandering to the DHs needs!!

Ok I'm gonna call it...

Ok, I'll be honest - it's me that has a huge problem with it. I want him to stop. All the people from school are friends on Facebook but he is the only husband that does this. I am mortified but when I have approached him in the past he questions why he can't have any friends, or I'm over-reacting.

Just tell him he is making a fool of himself and she has said she is embarrassed and uncomfortable and so are you. If that causes a row, it causes a row. He's an idiot.

So she hasn’t actually complained about him? Or have I misunderstood?

Just tell him to back off, why give a shit about his feelings when he clearly doesn’t have much respect for you. Drooling over someone in such an obvious manner is embarrassing for you, for her and he should be told.

Ok, I'll be honest - it's me that has a huge problem with it. I want him to stop. All the people from school are friends on Facebook but he is the only husband that does this. I am mortified but when I have approached him in the past he questions why he can't have any friends, or I'm over-reacting.

So ask her nicely to block him. Just say you’re unhappy he reacts to her posts so quickly etc, would she mind blocking him because you find it embarrassing or something.

So she didn't say anything to you? It's simply you don't want him to comment on her posts? You're jealous?

So why lie to us?

So ask her nicely to block him. Just say you’re unhappy he reacts to her posts so quickly etc, would she mind blocking him because you find it embarrassing or something

Really don't do this, it's awful advice, you cannot make this her problem..

Honestly though, we all thought rhis was an abused woman, when it's a just a jealous one,

Why can't people just be honest instead of posting shite?

That's 5 minutes of my life I'll never get back

So when people wonder why previously prolific posters seem to back off and not engage as much...this is why

For every abused woman there is a fucking timewaster like this one

is he like this on fb in general (e.g. very actively involved, commenting and liking posts) or is it only with this particular woman?

go into his pone and delete her from fb. he wil think she did it. the end.