To have explained periods to my 10 year old daughter?

[youdialwetile]

My daughter was at a friend's birthday today and I just got a text from birthday girl's mum with a heads up that periods came up in conversation. All very friendly - said my DD and one guest said they had read the same book about it - the other 2 girls want to borrow the book. I replied that I'd be happy to drop it off. Then other book-reading guest's mum replied that yes, her DD had the book "but has not read THAT chapter" and if her DD knows about periods it's news to her with sad face emoji. Now I feel I'm branded the weirdly irresponsible parent exposing kids to inappropriate information. I'm in the USA which I think makes a difference - but British. Do I reply or ignore? It's a group text for the 5 mums with girls at the party plus host. They are all 10 years old.

They do need to know at 10 I agree, but it is up to the parent really. I’d have rather my DD did not find out at a friends house without my knowledge. The school always give notice of this sort of thing for that reason.

nellie that is exactly why I told my daughter so young, so that it was me who explained it to her. My daughter mixes with girls of all ages at school, it is a small school with less than forty children so she is hearing things daily that she comes home and we talk about. The only way to avoid your 10 year old from hearing about periods in the playground/ at a party/ from a friend is to tell her yourself before that happens.

My 8 year old has heard periods and sex discussed in the playground. If I hadn’t discussed these with her myself and armed her with the right knowledge, then she could be thinking some of the absurd things she hears in the playground were true. Instead she can come home to me and have an open conversation and say ‘Mummy I heard x say this at school, it doesn’t sound right and it has made me confused’. As a result we have had very frank conversations and she is happy, no longer confused and can go back to playing.

Yes she does need to know at 10, my dd started her periods when she was 9.3/4

I got my period just before my 12th birthday. Thank god my school and mother normalised them and got me used to the idea (along with immature brothers). You did nothing wrong, no idea why people in the 20th century are funny about periods.

My daughters have always seen tampons, period itself (they loiter while i'm in the loo) and have a brief understanding about it - they are 8 (she's known for donkeys years) and 4.
It's not some big thing - not like you told them about sex!
YANBU at all!

PS I suggested to a friend her daughter (8) watch the show Anne with an E as my daughter loved it - totally age appropriate - got a text from said friend saying 'you didn't tell me there were periods in the show'. I mean really, she's 8. Tell her already. Said friend doesn't have periods, hence why child didn't know abut them.

Good God 10 is far too late to learn about periods. She might easily have started them by now or could do any day. Imagine the shock if you knew nothing? Ans how does the Mum keep hee own periods secret? And why?

My 4yo ds knows about periods! And my dd (now 9) did from equally young. A few of hee peers at school have already started. It's a perfecrly norm thing!

@ reallyanotherone

“when you’re a lady, once a month blood comes from your bottom”

😂 I'd like to think I can do a bit better than that, for starters I know women don't bleed once a month from their bottom unless they have hemorrhoids or something.

My 7yo has always known, I answer questions honestly when she asks. From age three she’s asked things like why there’s blood sometimes etc. I’d be more worried about her not knowing at 10

savage not easy to put into words really!

WTAF - is this Carrie?

And this is why so many women still don’t know that their periods are abnormal. Whole thread in classics about it recently. Horrifying that they’re behaving this way - what do they think will happen?

Research I read a while ago said girls start their periods when they hit a certain weight range, and therefore it’s generally getting earlier.

My 4 year old dd often follows me into the toilet. I don't hide my periods from her. She asks questions and I answer. She knows that one day she will get them. No big deal.

Better than being told at 10 like me and crying with the thought of blood and a scary 'tampons'.

I went to school here in Florida, and it was covered in school around the time I was nine. My mother had already spoken about it to me. When my kids were in school, about the same age. I had not told my son about periods, so when I found out that the boys get the same talk the girls get, I was so surprised and had a talk with him, so he wouldn't be blindsided. We had pretty much talked about everything else they covered in the presentation. When we were kids, we didn't know the boys had the same talk, and as girls we were very secretive about the subject, afraid a boy might hear us talking about it!

Gosh what a stupid women.

Both my tiny petite dds stared their periods at 10!

Got mine when I was nine. Terrified.
We owe our girls honesty and help them not to be ashamed. I spent too much of my childhood trying to keep it a secret.

My dd started her period the day before her 10th birthday, luckily I bought her a book a couple of years before and we have chatted about what was going to happen when I noticed her developing. She had no issues when it did happen.So it's definitely not too young

I think I was 8 when my mum first brought it up. Definitely had books on the subject by year 5 (she bought 2, 1 of which she said might be a bit grown-up for me - that one was just right, the other seemed very babyish!). By the time I was 10 some of my age group had definitely started their periods, though I was nearly 13 by the time I did.

I told DD3 about periodsafew weeks ago she was having sex Ed at school and i wanted her to hear it from me first. She has two teenage sisters so if she say anything bloody I didn’t want her to get upset. She’s fine with it all apart from that disgusting thing you have to do to make a baby!

My dd is 10 and is learning about puberty this term. A girl in her class started her periods at 9.
Both ds and dd knew about them from an early age because I don't keep it secret. Ds nipped to the shop to get me some sanitary protection once because I ran out.

If you want to be the one to tell your kids about them and not their friends then you either do it early or deal with the fact that children talk, especially children with older siblings.

When I first starting dating DH aged 19 he asked me to share my tampons with him, he thought they were sweets, his family had never discussed anything to do with periods even in passing. I think boys and girls should know the basics.

It's utterly irresponsible to leave it to the age of 10! Silly selfish woman who is more concerned about Keeping her daughter in the dark (innocent?) Than avoiding a situation where she's confused amongst friends or may be scared at what's happening if she starts hers.

Absolutely terrible parenting.

Absolutely agree with you Balthazar, if you want to be the one to tell them, make sure you do it early (before 9 years old). Otherwise I really hope another adult tells them so they aren’t left terrified and embarrassed if they get their periods early. Quite honestly, the feelings of the children trump those of the adult in this circumstance.

no one explained periods to my mum. When she got hers, she thought she was dying. She was born in 1952. Why the hell should a 10 year old be kept from her very imminent future? It's female shaming at its finest.

My mum talked to me about it when I was 8 or 9 I think!
Some unfortunate girls start early, imagine if they did start and they didn't know about periods, the panic alone! 😔

I was never blessed with children, but as a former teacher - and let's face it, human female - I can't think why you wouldn't want to talk to your kids about this before there's a possibility of a daughter starting to menstruate.

I’m jealous that they managed to keep their kids out of the bathroom. My 5 year old still follows me in, so has even seen me changing my mooncup. She waited til we were in a service station loo to ask about that, very, very loudly.