To have explained periods to my 10 year old daughter?

[youdialwetile]

My daughter was at a friend's birthday today and I just got a text from birthday girl's mum with a heads up that periods came up in conversation. All very friendly - said my DD and one guest said they had read the same book about it - the other 2 girls want to borrow the book. I replied that I'd be happy to drop it off. Then other book-reading guest's mum replied that yes, her DD had the book "but has not read THAT chapter" and if her DD knows about periods it's news to her with sad face emoji. Now I feel I'm branded the weirdly irresponsible parent exposing kids to inappropriate information. I'm in the USA which I think makes a difference - but British. Do I reply or ignore? It's a group text for the 5 mums with girls at the party plus host. They are all 10 years old.

YANBU - I started my periods aged 11 in my first term at high school.

My mum had already given me all the information I needed. She also told me that she had started her periods aged 10 and had thought she was dying. Unfortunately she never had much information or support from her own family.

Having to deal with periods at that age is hard enough without knowledge about them being deliberately kept from you.

My auto correct keeps changing dds to “dad” .. !

Gosh, I'd reply they were very lucky their children hadn't started yet, with no knowledge and do a sad emoji.
I thought I was dying when I started, only y4 primary before the talk at school and mum hadn't told me, as thought I was a bit young.
Luckily my big sis was there but she didn't help much and couldn't explain much as only 2.5 years older than me.
it's much better to tell them at an early age.
I told mine just after 9th birthday, although she'd seen pads and knew a bit before this.

Thanks @catinasplashofsunshine I will look at those, i just want a back up she can reference and read at her leisure.

She knows that hair, spots, sweating, developing breasts is puberty and that puberty is a natural process that leads to adulthood, but does not know about periods yet, so I want to tell her first and have the book as a back up/extra.

I'm taking her to the theatre soon and dinner first so we have some mum and daughter time to discuss together.

At 10 they should know . I didn’t know what periods were when I started far worse than knowing too early . My Ds knew about periods before 10 taught in school .

I would leave them to it but know you have done the right thing for dd

I've explained it to my 7 year old DD in an age appropriate way so as not to scare her. I started my period early and didn't known a thing and it terrified me. I'd say you were being very responsible for explaining these things to her, it's an inevitability that she'll have one so why not tell her. The other woman is the weirdo for not telling her DD about it

YANBU.. my grandma, mum and sister (and now niece) all started at 9 in primary school so i was well, but delicately briefed early on. It turns out i was a late bloomer and held on to 13..but it was a much less scary experience having all the facts from early on.

8 pages of posts saying the same thing.

The ones who are most shocked are so deliciously ironic. That they are so ‘right on’ to (rightfully) teach their dcs about the reproductive system at an appropriate age, but yet can’t imagine that in this big wild world that their approach isn’t universal.

Definitely the right thing to do is for the children to know about this, I started at 10 on first day of summer term and was mortified standing with my back to the wall the whole day as had marks all over my summer dress. My daughter who is 10 started recently and I'd already given her (about a year ago when she was 9) a selection of pads etc to keep in her room and had explained it all to her. We talk openly about it in front of her 8 yr old brother and father, her brother needs to know it is normal life too. Please feel confident about discussing periods with your children - I'm more worried that your friends will not be doing the same with theirs!

Poor dd was 9 when she started. I hadnt even thought of expaining them at that point

This is a genuine question, but periods don’t generally start out of the blue with no other warnings?

I coach swimming and often notice girls as young as 7, even 5 or 6, with breast buds and underarm hair. Once you notice that, it’s time to make sure they know what is going to happen over the next two years, regardless of age.

So weird. I started mine at 10 and a half. Why wouldnt you tell a 10yo?

I told my DSs about periods at about the same age, they'll never have them but I thought it sensible to have the conversation. It just came up one day so I seized the opportunity.

It's a part of growing up and should be spoken about and not brushed aside. I did however say it was a conversation for us and don't go asking their grandparents

I started at 11. I didn't realise for the first 3 or 4 months & thought I'd got an upset stomach, especially as I had cramps. No-one had told me. I will make sure DD knows before she's 10.

Jeez you beat me to it - was just going to say not to forget our sons! Both my children know about periods - they are 7 and 4. they are not shocked or disgusted in the slightest, just Interested. They have both known for a long time but every so often will ask new questions and so their knowledge is updated in an age appropriate way.

I have American family. Many are pretty conservative. They would not have such a silly attitude and believe in empowering young girls with info about this from an early age.
We disagree in a few things but not this.

When DS was 6, he was in the front of my car and found a tampon in the glove box. He asked me what it was and we had a chat about periods, to which he concluded “but it’s not going to happen to me is it?”.

On the way home, he found the rest of the box and burst out “Mummy, you’ve got a whole army of these little soldiers!”.

NotTaken why so snide and nasty? A good proportion of the posts are sharing anecdotes about how their own mother didn't take that approach and caused them to be terrified or ashamed when their periods started. Which hardly fits your uncalled for scornful summing up.

@Becca19962014 I still can't figure out the logistics!
Natracare are quite good if you're only after natural fibres though; although reusable pads and a mooncup are now my preferred option.

I'd re-offer to lend them the book

YANBU - we only have one bathroom & my son was 3/4 when I was pregnant with his sister so he has seen/be told about everything (in a scientific, non-graphic way). He's seen me wipe blood and asked why, I've explained, he's gone 'Oh, ok' and got on with his life, untraumatised and more knowledgeable. Why wouldn't you tell a child, especially a 10 yr old girl who would feel less scared & more prepared when she gets her own periods.

Bike I laughed out loud at your little boys comments! What a cutie!

My ds has known since toddlerhood too and has been so curious- He would ask ‘does losing your babyhouse hurt?’ I would say it could give me a sore tummy or back but otherwise it was ok. He replied ‘I am so glad I am not a girl’. He is ten now and he will bring me my hot water bottle if I have cramps. If I look sore he will ask ‘period Mummy? Shall I get Daddy to heat the hot water bottle for you? Or do you want chocolate?’ I am so proud, he will make a fantastic and empathic husband one day! Teaching our boys early on makes it a normal part of life!

My dh was fascinated when we were first living together, he knew nothing about periods, (his Mother always had her own bathroom that he and his brother were forbidden from using) but obviously was a fast learner, he will bring me a hot water bottle and buy me chocolate without me even having to ask! He has gone to the shops to buy me tampons/ pads whenever I have needed him to, although I have to send him a picture of which to buy!

My DD is 11 so realistically, could be started her periods any time. She's known about them for years, I've never hidden them from her. She knows about the symptoms of it, how often she'll have them.

It's my job to prepare her for the things that will happen in her life.

Iv three boys 5,7,9. They know about periods (not much privacy in my bathroom). It's just a body function.

My DD knew from little,another velcro toddler who followed me to the toilet.Bits of information added as she got older.When she began to develope we went out and bought a starter pack and a pretty diddy bag to put supplies in to keep in her school bag incase.
She and another girl started at 10.She has taken it in her stride.A boy who usually teased her said he knew what was happening to her as he had an older sister so knew all about it,again matter of fact as it should be.

DD is 3 and knows I bleed every month. She sees it when she follows me to the bathroom.

DS is 7 and knows about periods, why they happen, what I (and countless other girls and women) do to stop my blood staining everything in sight and how the periods make me feel.

It is not some dirty secret, it's the embodied reality of the majority of women of childbearing age. God forbid our kids should grow up knowledgeable about everyday physiology.