To have explained periods to my 10 year old daughter?

[youdialwetile]

My daughter was at a friend's birthday today and I just got a text from birthday girl's mum with a heads up that periods came up in conversation. All very friendly - said my DD and one guest said they had read the same book about it - the other 2 girls want to borrow the book. I replied that I'd be happy to drop it off. Then other book-reading guest's mum replied that yes, her DD had the book "but has not read THAT chapter" and if her DD knows about periods it's news to her with sad face emoji. Now I feel I'm branded the weirdly irresponsible parent exposing kids to inappropriate information. I'm in the USA which I think makes a difference - but British. Do I reply or ignore? It's a group text for the 5 mums with girls at the party plus host. They are all 10 years old.

I had just turned 9 when I started my period, and they were extremely heavy and painful for the first few years too. I already knew about them as was currently learning about them in sex Ed, and my 12 year old sister at the time had started very young too so my mum sat us both down and explained everything to us.

I told my dd1 the facts of life at 5 because she asked. Yanbu

My 7 year old is fully aware of them and what they are. I find it odd that they don't know at 10

My 7 year old son knows about periods, it’s biology and a part of human life! I think it’s weird for a girl of that age to NOT know, and is mollycoddling of the highest order.

@britnay @metalmidget wtf are those?!

Yanbu. My five year old son knows about them ffs (he insists on coming to the loo with me so of course he does)

If no one had told me about them by the time I was 9 then i’d have been majorly screwed when they started at that age. I would have thought i was bleeding to death and been utterly terrified

Children mature at different rates and its considered within normal range to start a period at age 8 these days. I don't think you were unreasonable to tell your daughter about them and they do have conversations they also get pretty explicit sex ed in yr5/6 particularly around puberty and periods. There is a fine balance between keeping kids kids and making sure they have enough info to know what is going on with their bodies.

I'd no warning for my first period which I got on holiday and was a flood, when I say that I mean that. It terrified me. When I told my mum her response was "you don't want that at your age you're too young". She refused to buy me the right sort of pads and I regularly had accidents (no ability to buy my own).

savage they're for non press on pads, the dr whites ones are natural fibres, no chemical smells. I prefer them but they're a bugger to get where I live.

How bizarre! My four year old SON knows about periods in a very basic sense.

I was 12 when I got mine. I'd had sex ed but that was useless and didn't prepare me at all for practicalities, just a load of diagrams by a very embarrassed middle aged man who wanted to be anywhere else!

YADNBU.

Poor dd was 9 when she started. I hadnt even thought of expaining them at that point.

I was away and dp was left to deal with a screaming, very frightend little girl... which to his credit he did by explaining; finding a video on youtube then taking her to buy pads, a nice bag to keep them in and then cake and milkshake

Honestly.. I dont think you can explain too early. I wish they were just part of everyday conversation so children didnt have to go through the awful terror dd and others have experienced

YANBU

Dd was 10 when she started her periods and she wasn't unusual in her group of friends. Most were 10-11y in the end.

She started puberty from 8y so she definitely needed to know.

School PHSE covered it summer year 5, so 9/10y

They get told at age 10 in school anyway, at least I did. I then went home and discussed it further with my mum. Got my period at 13 and was fully prepared ready. I was glad I learnt when I did. My friend was 9 when she got her period in school she knew nothing about what was happening & ran to a dinner lady and told her she was dying. The other girls mum shouldn't be upset, I wouldn't be I would just like to have my own conversation too.

my mum never told me :(. i started at 10 and never knew what it was. yanbu.

youdialwetile you are definitely not weird and certainly not wrong in informing your daughter about her own body.

Here in the UK children get a preliminary talk about puberty in yr5 (so aged 9/10) as part of their formal education at school. In year 6 (age 10/11) they have further education about both puberty and sex&relationships. This has been the norm for rather a long time.

personally I think it is important that both boys and girls are taught about the biological processes of the human body before them or their peers start this process. It is;
a)important for girls to know about their own bodies, understand things and not be scared when they start their periods
b) important for boys to be taught about these things in a matter of fact way so that they are better informed for the future
c) educating both sexes early is important to de-stigmatise periods as a topic and help menstruation and other sexual issues not be taboo in future.

I personally only have a son. I have talked to him/informed him about the effects of puberty on both sexes and also about the day to day realities of periods for girls. I think this is a good thing. and I think it is an essential piece of education for girls in particular by age 10.

My sister and I know full well what happens if your parents don't educate you about periods unfortunately! Luckily by the time I started, we'd had the talk at school and I knew what was happening, but my little sister wasn't so fortunate. My mum brought her to me when she was maybe 9 or 10, poor DSis in tears because she thought she was dying because of this blood - my mum thought I could tell her about periods, as if it wasn't a bit late by that point

Your DD's friends' mums need to pull their socks up and parent properly. Arming your daughters with basic knowledge about periods and sanitary care is part of that IMO.

I really wouldn't take it to heart, I more think it is a reflections that time has caught up with them about having the right type of conversations, after all they have the books. I certainly wouldn't read too much into culture differences, more parenting styles.

DD 10 and I had very direct conversations about periods about 18 months ago. I'd always been open about it and we had read age appropriate books that she has in her room, but as someone has mentioned, I wasn't sure what she'd heard, so I instigated a very direct conversation on the subject, and followed it up with her.

Not long after in a conversation with Mum friends, one mentioned that her DD had instigated a conversation about periods (our girls are part of the same friendship group) and I mentioned that might have come from my DD as we'd been talking about it. Another Mum, with boys, asked why I had decided to have the conversation now, it wasn't a criticism, just conversation.

I had 2 reasons for the timing. One was that I was aware that conversation and wives tails were doing the rounds at after school club, and I wanted DD to have the facts, the other was, that although I didn't expect DD to start hers imminently, I was aware that she had good friends who would (and since have) and again I wanted her to have the facts about what was going on and that we could talk. I must admit, I thought at the time I'd maybe left it late, but I think the timing as about right.

I don't always think that text messages are the easiest form of communication and doubt that anyone thinks badly of you. I also think that some parents don't really put a lot of thought about kids where else their children will get their info from if they don't provide it.

If they’ve not told a 10 year old girl about periods, they are neglecting basic parenting. Poor child.

Of course YANBU, why the big secrecy around it anyway, wouldn't it be awful if they'd not told their daughters about it and they got them? They'd be terrified

Then other book-reading guest's mum replied that yes, her DD had the book "but has not read THAT chapter" and if her DD knows about periods it's news to her with sad face emoji.

Maybe she was upset about the lack of spoiler alert?

You’ve done those girls a favour OP. Nothing to worry about.

Why is she sad? It's not like it's a chapter on sex, it's about something natural that will happen very soon. I never plan on disguising my periods... my DSis was 8 when she started so if anything she's risking a screaming child thinking she's dying!

Girls need to properly know what to expect, its not enough to just have a brief talk about it at school. If their first period comes without them knowing enough, its traumatic and quite neglectful of the parents to not prepare them.

My dad knew the basics about periods from being tiny and in the loo with me. Some girls start at 9, so leaving it late isn’t really very sensible.