To have explained periods to my 10 year old daughter?

[youdialwetile]

My daughter was at a friend's birthday today and I just got a text from birthday girl's mum with a heads up that periods came up in conversation. All very friendly - said my DD and one guest said they had read the same book about it - the other 2 girls want to borrow the book. I replied that I'd be happy to drop it off. Then other book-reading guest's mum replied that yes, her DD had the book "but has not read THAT chapter" and if her DD knows about periods it's news to her with sad face emoji. Now I feel I'm branded the weirdly irresponsible parent exposing kids to inappropriate information. I'm in the USA which I think makes a difference - but British. Do I reply or ignore? It's a group text for the 5 mums with girls at the party plus host. They are all 10 years old.

I read are you there God it's me Margate by Judy Blume! Learnt a lot about periods and American culture!

Of course YANBU. My four year old knows about periods and that she'll get them when she's in about year six

It's important that boys know too though - the 'tampon tax' thing on Twitter was quite an eye opener with men saying they didn't want to pay 'because women wet themselves' etc.

Sorry to hear you didn't want your DC to learn about periods yet. In the UK it is considered responsible parenting to fully inform DC about these issues at an early age, especially as girls are starting to menstruate as young as nine nowadays. I am rather shocked that this is not standard practice in the USA tbh.
Surely NOONE would be stupid enough to send that shit?

OP, I can't believe you were seriously asking the question and I'm sure you know YANBU. I also can't see where any other parent was judging YOU in any way. More a "I can't believe they've grown up so fast" . I do it all the time. I'm sure most parents do. Anyway, at least it was a chance to pat ourselves on the back for being so open and honest and be judgy and make possibly, absurd assumptions about those who haven't. Oh, and just because one of the children hasn't read a chapter doesn't mean it was banned. Can noone see how silly that assumption is? Short of ripping it out, how on earth would you do that?

FWIW, my mum told me NOTHING and it was extremely traumatic when I got my period early. Especially when she still told me NOTHING. Other than how to use a pad. So I've always been open with my children with no topic off limits. Still, can't see where anyone here has been upset at the conversations or judged for talking about anything

JudyBlume would be appalled!

YANBU- although depends if she listens though. Didn't get mine til 12 but I'm sure we have conversations about it. I DIDNT LISTEN.

Then I went trampolining on the day the first time I had mine and I thought I was DYING.

Blimey, when I was ten I'd been well aware of periods for a while. I remember we had a woman come in to our primary school in year 5 to talk about periods (and give us free samples of sanitary pads), and I already knew.

I remember giggling when she described the belt and hook sanitary towels - my mom had said how she used to use them when she was younger. You could still get them in the 80s!

Totally fine. Some girls start their period at that age. Also, they learn about periods in school at the age of 9/10 (year 5).

I think not telling a 10 year old girl about periods is doing her a huge disservice, personally.

And why the sad face - that's weird. It's a normal bodily function, not cancer. I bet the mum isn't sad about her dd knowing about how poo is made or how the circulatory system works.

This is about the hang ups of the adults.

You did nothing wrong, OP.

Mine had the same/similar book at 8 as that's the age it's recommended for. Sounds like they are infantilising their growing daughters & you are not. As the daughter of a mother who did the same over this...

YADNBU!!

Are you in Hicksville somewhere?

I’d just pass it off as a British thing. They cover this in school now in Y5 (but DS knew by the time he was 6).

both mine, knew at 3 (both sexes) comments on red poo prompted discussion

Mine started at 11. I have all boys but even my 11 yo son knows about them. He asks me not to leave lady things about lol ( clean ones)

I knew everything about sex and periods at 6.
At 10 of course they should know, we did it all at school at 9 and then again at 10/11.
YANBU the other Mum is.

"This girl had been led to believe that pregnancy was only a product of marriage, rather than a biological function. "

My friends and I all assumed that growing up in the 80s. By 10 we'd have probably seen single parents on soaps or something, but when small we definitely thought someone got married and then somehow got pregnant when we were very little. Not Catholics at all, it was just very rare to see anyone with parents who'd never been married to each other.

YANBU, in my school the kids are informed about periods in Year 6. My own dd started her periods when she was 11 and girls in Year 4 and 5 of the school I teach in have already started.

Gosh you are delightfully rude Wellandtrulycurbed thanks for that!

My post - written while half asleep I must admit - was an attempting to explain a cultural difference. On re-reading and as Thelocalyokel says (only slightly less rudely) ; it does come across as superior which wasn't my intention. I was trying to form a serious response as I thought the woman's sad face emoji indicated that her DD had been upset.

I guess she could be sad her DD is growing up, she could sad because her DD was upset for some reason, she could be sad because the books were being read without adult supervision.

Who knows? It's open to interpretation surely?

Another one here whose sons knew from the age of five-six when they asked what tampons were for. I really didn’t want them to think it’s something for girls to be embarrassed about or think it was a nudge-nudge subject.

On the other hand my mother was awful about it. Didn’t explain anything before I started. Flung towels at me and didn’t explain how to use them - just told me to say when I needed them (didn’t buy sticky pads so I leaked all the time). Never explained that I could use tampons. I had to ask my elder sisters in the end. Also she told her friends that I’d started (we had a day out on the beach) and they sidled up to me and told me I was a woman now (I was 11!). Mortifying. I’d never want any girls to go through that. YANBU OP.

Grossly irresponsible parenting for a child of 10 to NOT know that she can expect to have blood coming out of her vagina at some point soon.

I'd reply "Given that some of the girls in your DD's class actually HAVE periods, I'd be horrified if she DIDN'T know about them. How frightening if they were to suddenly arrive and she didn't know why she was bleeding?" (passive aggressive sad face)

I agree with what you say in that text but I doubt it would go down well.

My DD is 10, she’s known about periods since she was old enough to ask what the pack of pads in the bathroom was. She came home from school the other day and told that she and a group of her friends had been chatting about periods, when one of them asked what a period was. This particular girl comes from a strict religious family, a fact the other girls know. The rest of girls decided not to tell her, because they were worried they’d get into trouble if they did.

Nothing's going to go down well with the sort of people who think puberty is a sin they were hoping their children will avoid if it isn't mentioned.

I'm now trying to remember when I would have found out - I know it must have been some time in primary school from my mum, but I certainly didn't have anything in school about periods at primary. I def didn't have the talk where the woman came in with the freebie packet of pads and a leaflet until secondary school - so I'm guessing probably aged 11. This was in the early 90s. Although I'm guessing some girls must have started by the time we had 'the talk', I can't imagine anyone didn't already know (not least because of Judy Blume!).

I didn't get my period till I was 14 - and was really miffed because my mum didn't start till she was 16, and I thought I had at least another year or so before I got mine!

I definitely was aware of periods well before I ever did anything at school though!

7yo ds knows about periods, I'm not really sure how you can hide it from an inquisitive child, even if you wanted to. He saw blood in the toilet that didn't flush, asked what tampons were and whether I was hurt. I'd rather he knows it's a perfectly natural bodily function and nothing to get embarrassed about.

I'm shocked! I don't understand why parents still think this way.

I plan on being open with my son about periods, too.