To have explained periods to my 10 year old daughter?

[youdialwetile]

My daughter was at a friend's birthday today and I just got a text from birthday girl's mum with a heads up that periods came up in conversation. All very friendly - said my DD and one guest said they had read the same book about it - the other 2 girls want to borrow the book. I replied that I'd be happy to drop it off. Then other book-reading guest's mum replied that yes, her DD had the book "but has not read THAT chapter" and if her DD knows about periods it's news to her with sad face emoji. Now I feel I'm branded the weirdly irresponsible parent exposing kids to inappropriate information. I'm in the USA which I think makes a difference - but British. Do I reply or ignore? It's a group text for the 5 mums with girls at the party plus host. They are all 10 years old.

"In the UK it is considered responsible parenting to fully inform... I am rather shocked that this is not standard practice in the US tbh..."

Oh God OP, please don't be ridiculous enough to send something like that. It's like a lesson in how to offend and alienate people for absolutely no reason, and forevermore be known as an arrogant, superior idiot.

It's incredible how people on this thread are extrapolating, from one person's experience of one or two other mothers who expressed nothing more than mild surprise / sadness that their ten year olds are growing up, that in general, Americans (and Catholics) must need to be advised by right thinking British mothers about what responsible parenting is.

Definitely not unreasonable. I started at 10 and would have been terrified if I hadn't known what was happening. My 4yo DTs know about periods because they ask questions (and toilet stalk me).

I'm also a Brit in the US and my DD is only 6 so I haven't entered this minefield yet but she's known about periods for over a year as she asked about tampons - both my children have had extensive sex-ed talks at home because they asked questions and I answered them.

Americans are (sweeping generalisation based only on my experience) generally way more prudish in every way than the Brits but even so 10 is way too old for girls not to know anything

I am pretty sure that the other woman’s DD HAS read that chapter unless she ripped it out before she gave it to her!

Weirdo. My dd started her periods when she had just turned 10. Imagine the trauma if you didn't know what it was! Frankly not telling girls by 8 is negligent parenting.

🙄

Gosh, next you’ll be teaching her about >sex< and ‘stuff’.

They’re a bunch of loons, 10 is well past the ‘need to know’ age. Consider yourself very normal 😊

I agree it's odd to give someone a book but not expect them to read the whole thing

The banned chapter would be the first one I'd read!

I have no respect for parents who don't inform their kids about periods. I remember my sister getting her arse in her hand because the school hadn't educated my niece about periods. She was raging when I told her it was her responsibility to talk to her own daughter about puberty.

My Mum never told me about periods and when I started I was shocked and didn’t know what was happening. I have talked openly about periods with my daughter since she was about 6 or 7. I think you have done them a favour to be honest.

My five year old son knows about periods so I think you are not the weird one in this situation, they are! You can’t halt biology and those girls are going to get their period one day whether their parents like it or not n

God I'd say that you find their attitude very strange and rather sad. Girls need to know about their bodies. It is empowering. I've always painted periods in a positive light. And come the day been very practical about it.

I don’t understand how a child can get to that age and not know. Did they not ask questions when they were younger? Mine learned about it gradually from a young age; it followed naturally from the questions they asked. (Why are you bleeding mummy?)

I was having periods by that age!
YANBU

And this from the country that brought us “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret”. Try lending her THAT book

I'd be tempted to answer something like "Really? But girls can get their periods from the age of 8, and 10 years old is pretty standard!"

Factual, shows you're surprised.

I am pretty sure that the other woman’s DD HAS read that chapter unless she ripped it out before she gave it to her

I know, right? If someone had given me a book and said "don't read that chapter" it would have been the first one I read!

Along those lines, OK it's a different country so IDK but can you imagine that any girl in a British school wouldn't have heard all about periods in the playground already? How accurate the information would be is another question, that's why it's so important to give the kids the information before they actually need it.

I'm also in awe of how these women managed to get solo toilet time for the last 10 years. How do you manage to keep that a secret for all that time?

I seriously don’t know how children can not know about periods. Mine follow me into the toilet, they see, they ask questions. They’ve known since they were toddlers!

My eldest dd knew about periods at 9 years old as she was showing signs as in her body changing and coming from an open family myself that had an older sister I knew at a young age myself.
We got a book but also chatted about it in normal conversation as we as her dad so she saw it's not a scary thing or an odd thing just part of growing up.
Luckily we did because she started her periods at 10.

She's now nearly 13 and completely comfortable with the whole thing and we don't have any period related issues or dramas here
Youngest dd is 8 and always asks in the supermarket isle if we need pads 😂

I started my period at 10, at boarding school, and thought I was dying because my mother hadn't told me about them. She was mortified and said she had started at 11 so thought she had time, and was going to tell me when I came home for half term. So no, 10 isn't too early to learn about them!!

Interesting. From the Amazon reviews I see that the book’s USP is that it explains periods and puberty without mentioning s*x. The problem with “that chapter”, which at least one of the reviewers ripped out, is that it contains diagrams of how to insert a tampon

My dds have known about periods since they were very young - I'm not sure how you avoid the topic, they used to accompany me to the toilet and ask about what I was doing.

Agree it seems irresponsible for them to know nothing about it at 10.

I'd text back something like.....maybe 'Sorry about that! With girls starting periods younger these days I thought most girls their age would already have been taught about them'

YADNBU - periods aren't something shameful or inappropriate! And a lot of girls start their periods around 10/11 - how frightening for them if they haven't learned about them yet. The other mother is being absurd. She's acting like periods are taboo which is really unhealthy!

It’s weird that a book mentioning periods and puberty doesn’t also mention sex!

Ridiculous. My children have known from toddler age in a mummies bleed every month as part of them being able to have babies sort of way. More detail filled in as they got older/asked.

Do US children not wonder what tampons are when they see them in shops or in bathroom cupboards?

Do older sisters not talk about it?

Boys need to know too, not just the girls. It’s basic human development.

I am really surprised at this.