To report DH for drink driving

[notmyusername321]

If you knew he was at that moment... would you call 999?

I did. and I'm the one to blame for his prosecution according to him his friends and family and have been blacklisted. unfortunately not the first time he's done it but the first time i've known about it during. his job, life.. my life, my children's lives all affected by this. WWYHD?

I haven't actually said that I do it! This is just evolving the wrong way from me asking a question so that I could answer the OP.
This is my view:
If they were obviously drunk and about to go on a busy motorway, then I'd ring the police.
However, if they were a little bit over at night, which doesn't take much, and were driving home a few streets away in a rural town, the streets of which are pretty much deserted at night, then I wouldn't dream of reporting them.
That was the OPs question. WWYHD, she asked. I wanted more detail to answer her question. And I still stand by it. No, I wouldn't report a woman driving home who had had two glasses of wine in an hour.

Even though that would probably put her over.

So everyone does it where you live. Apart from you, obviously.

And why would your pals need to drive if they are only going a few streets away?

I reported my dsis. My dm went absolutely crazy at me. My other family stuck up for me. It wasn't a one off either. You can view it as 'reporting' someone or you can view it as I possibly saved my sisters life or someone else's. She was only 18 and 12 years later is so mortified, ashamed and grateful. Well done op, you will look back and realise it was the best decision you ever made, for plenty of reasons.

So everyone does it where you live. Apart from you, obviously.
I live across the road from the pub.

And why would your pals need to drive if they are only going a few streets away? Too hot, too cold, didn't plan to go to the pub but just called in on the way home, no pavements or streetlights if they live even half a kilometre out in three of the directions, etc.

I don't judge them if they've only had a few.

You live in Scotland. It never gets THAT hot/cold that you need to drink drive.

Justify it all you want but you have heard posters stories about how drink drivers have ruined lives and yet you think it’s acceptable.

Why do you think I live in Scotland?

My mistake, you referred to Scotland and commented that you didn’t live in England or Wales. But regardless, my point still stands.

PenelopeFlintstone goady fucker, I now think.

Anyway, I'm going now because this wasn't my thread and I feel bad for the OP. But I don't live in Scotland.

Probably best if you do fuck off.

They are blaming you for rocking the boat. For years they have minimised and have been guilty for doing it. They have downplayed his alcoholism and for that too they are guilty.

You changed that and since they don't want to put the blame where it belongs, on himself and a bit on them too, they turn their anger to you. In truth they have failed as family and friends by downplaying his drink driving and accepting it.

Your ex is lucky that he left before you threw him out. I feel for you and your children, but you did the right thing. He could have killed and with his attitude he could still kill someone. I would not want my children in a car with him, let alone on the road when he is.

PenelopeFlintstone goady fucker, I now think.

Well, that's a first for me. I'm not goady. I just disagree with you and am defending my corner. And I still think my original question was a valid one.

Same to you Nicknacky!!

His family should be THANKING you. You didn’t just do the right thing by other innocent road users - you did the right thing by him and by your children (who are also related to his blaming family, although they seem to have forgotten that.
Yes, he is in trouble with the law but nothing like as much trouble as he could have been in, if he had caused an accident.
You could have saved him from prison. You may have saved his life and his family are pretty stupid if they don’t see that.
You can stand tall and justify your actions to his children. How could you have done that if he’d been killed or ended up in jail?

For me it would depend how drunk he was , how far he was going and on what sort of roads, etc.
Blind drunk, dropping his keys like the PP said, or had slightly more than the first one plus one an hour.
Which was it, if you don't mind me asking?

Penelope I DO get why you asked the question, but I would suggest that for a wife to call the police on her H, he MUST have been DRUNK ENOUGH for her to know that he represented a risk to himself and others and was NOT safe to be behind the wheel.

I was in Ireland the year the level dropped to practically nothing. From what I saw that visit it appeared to make little difference as there was no effective police system in that area. Nationally I think there has been a change and certainly since.

We do still have a lot to do as a nation to make it socially abhorrent to drink/drug and then get behind a wheel, not just by penalising in the courts.

I’d have done the same OP, and have, with a different member of the family. Drinking then driving in any form isn’t something I can get on board with.

However, I sort of see the point Penelope was making. Let’s say 2 glasses of wine put you at blowing 30 on a roadside test. In England & Wales you’d be under the limit of 35, but well over the limit of 22 in Scotland. So the same person drinking the same amount is breaking the law, the second they cross the border. It’s ridiculous, reaction times etc haven’t changed.

That’s exactly why it should be zero tolerance in my opinion...

No I do disagree with the disparity, and agree that one glass of wine won’t necessarily cause impairment however she does say that “everyone” blatantly disregards the law where she lives becuase it’s too hot/cold/far away/close enough.

And to be honest, most drink drivers that are caught are usually way, way over even the original limit.

Yep I get what Penelope is trying to say too and yes the discrepancy between Scotland/England is a silly loophole and yes, one person’s reactions are impaired differently from another person’s. But where do you put the line? Her justification for a bit of casual drink driving is still the mark of a twat.

Fuck his friends and family!! You did the right thing. Not only could he hurt himself he could hurt someone else.

How would they feel if someone they loved had been hurt or killed by a drunk driver?!

Refer your DH’s family to this thread.

@Tigger365 i agree. the point about people's tolerances varying is a valid one so to avoid people thinking they have a high tolerance so can get away with it the rule should be zero alcohol in blood if driving.

my ex dh is one of those people who thinks he has a high tolerance (he definitely doesn't i can tell within 10 seconds of a phone call if he's had more than 2 pints. he just desperately needs to justify his functional alcoholism)

Major high five and hug from me.

Since he's done it before don't let any kids near him or his car in case.

Cut ties and fuck the lot of them, if they can't see what a tosser he was for driving drunk then they aren't safe to be around.

(Door supervisor here and we offer disposable breath test kits or safe key storage until 16hrs later).