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Original poster

To report DH for drink driving

153 replies

notmyusername321 · 18/06/2018 22:22

If you knew he was at that moment... would you call 999?

I did. and I'm the one to blame for his prosecution according to him his friends and family and have been blacklisted. unfortunately not the first time he's done it but the first time i've known about it during. his job, life.. my life, my children's lives all affected by this. WWYHD?

OP posts:
lookoutcoshereicome · 18/06/2018 23:37

Fuck them! You did the right thing. If you'd stood by and not done anything and he'd killed someone imagine how you'd feel then- much worse than you're feeling now.
By the sounds of it, the friends and family weren't worth keeping in the first place.

smithsinarazz · 18/06/2018 23:42

Well done.
I've heard of a few people who've had partners with families like that - thinking that "supportive" means "refusing to accept that a family member can ever do anything wrong". One sub-category of this is parents with "perfect" sons.
Result: you end up with a bunch of entitled, spoilt men who are dreadful to their wives and girlfriends and anyone else who gets in their way, because Mummy will always reassure them that they haven't done anything really wrong and (as in this case) even if the police have nicked them for behaving in a life-threatening manner, it's not really their fault.
Fuck 'em. Just thank your lucky stars you got away from the whole rank setting.

SpartacusVonWaitrose · 18/06/2018 23:42

Bravo.

If more people had your moral fortitude, the world would be a better place.

You placed the wellbeing of others before your own. I have nothing but respect for you. You are being scapegoated by a danger to society and his enablers who all need to take good hard looks at themselves before hanging their heads in shame.

People who do not wish to be prosecuted for drink driving should refrain from driving drunk.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 18/06/2018 23:43

Yet I am sure if one of their family was injured or killed by a drunk driver they would be demanding a long prison sentence.

I suspect they are both fuckwits and raging hypocrites at the same time.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 18/06/2018 23:47

If he is unable to see that it is wrong to drink and drive, I suspect that he has a problem with alcohol in general and that this is the tip of the iceberg.
I think there is a helpline for families of people who drink who you could talk this through with.

phlewf · 19/06/2018 00:08

Listen to the stories of people bereaved by drunk drivers and realise you dis the right thing. Imagine if he’d crashed and died and you hadn’t phoned. How would that affect his kids?
First wedding I remember going to the couple we’re killed soon after by a drunk driver. Less than a month since their wedding and everyone was back together at their funeral.
Couple on my street, in the car with 2 kids, wife pregnant, hit by a drunk driver, wrong side of the road, no lights on. Was truly awful.
I would call the police on my mother, my son, anyone who was driving drunk.
A car is a dangerous machine, just because there are lots of them doesn’t make them safe.

CocoDeMoll · 19/06/2018 04:39

You did the right thing and you’re braver than me. Well done.

My Dad drink drives a lot and I’ve always hoped he’d get caught. I didn’t realise he was probably over the limit (I know he’d had a drink but he never appears drunk IYSWIM) till I was in his car when I accepted a lift from him the other day with my two children and no car seats. I couldn’t believe I’d let him drive us like that.

AsleepAllDay · 19/06/2018 04:50

Everyone in your circle is condoning driving while under the influence, dramatically increasing the likelihood of an accident involving innocent people and pedestrians. If they lost a relative that way, see how they would feel.

OP, reporting him is emotionally and morally the right thing to do. I honestly don't disapprove of people using substances (have some involvement there myself, as do most of us - drinking is of course a huge part of culture), but I would never let a family member or friend get in the car after too many units or a spliff.

It's completely unnecessary when taxis and Uber are readily available

AsleepAllDay · 19/06/2018 04:52

Also, daddy being sloshed all the time and getting behind the wheel sets a terrible example for kids. It's really not okay. I'm completely behind adults using any substances responsibly and with regard to others and driving does not fall under this category. You wouldn't want him to drive a forklift, a car is the same.

Nooblynoo · 19/06/2018 04:55

You totally did the right thing. I detest drunk drivers and drug drivers.

Pengggwn · 19/06/2018 05:39

You're very brave. Of course his family and friends are going to look at you differently - that's why it's such a hard thing to do. Sod them. You're right, they're wrong.

ApolloandDaphne · 19/06/2018 05:49

You did the right thing. Surely you have some friends and family who support what you did?

JobHunting4 · 19/06/2018 05:51

Unfortunately because his family have reinforced that he isn't in the wrong, he will likely continue... Even possibly without a license now.

It's a shame he and they have caused the breakdown of your family in this horrible way. But for the record, you did right. You will not be to blame in any way when he has an accident

Babipotjam · 19/06/2018 05:59

This would be a deal breaker for me.

I totally agree with you.

PenelopeFlintstone · 19/06/2018 06:31

For me it would depend how drunk he was , how far he was going and on what sort of roads, etc.
Blind drunk, dropping his keys like the PP said, or had slightly more than the first one plus one an hour.
Which was it, if you don't mind me asking?

greendale17 · 19/06/2018 06:39

How did you know it was you?

FatBarry · 19/06/2018 06:51

His family and friends know he is wrong but because you reported him they can alienate you and deflect the blame away from him. They can support him and make out you are the wrong one for splitting he family because it eases their conscience about what a shit member if their family they have.

If you ever have any doubts just remember he could have driven once too often and with your children in the car. I shudder to think of the possible consequences.

As hard as it is for you now, you are an amazing person and did the right thing. Flowers

FlatTopVera · 19/06/2018 06:55

Penelope I find your question ridiculous and offensive. So it is ok to drive if you’re over the limit as long as no one else dares to use the roads at the same time?!

PenelopeFlintstone · 19/06/2018 07:03

Penelope I find your question ridiculous and offensive.
I don't care as I wasn't addressing you, FlatTopVera.
The OP asked a question and I've answered it truthfully, well aware that it wouldn't match everybody else's.
Should I lie next time? Or should I only answer if my answer matches the consensus?
I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world who sees different levels of drink driving.

YouOKHun · 19/06/2018 07:09

different levels of drink driving

Well, the woman who killed my relative wasn’t that drunk, just enough over the limit to compromise her reactions. She still killed my relative and ruined lives.

Bananamanfan · 19/06/2018 07:10

Well done, op. Time to get angry with him and his family, as he has caused the breakdown of your family, put others at risk. I suspect you had spoken to him about this before, had you? Flowers for you.

Juells · 19/06/2018 07:22

I've seen this only from the periphery - I lived in a very rural area, and a local farmer's wife reported that her husband had driven off drunk. The police searched for him, but he'd knocked down and killed a little girl by the time they tracked him down.

The OP's family and friends could all sod off, IMO. They're virtue signalling in the worst possible way - at no cost to them they can look like the good guys, supporting him in his troubles. Well, he brought his troubles on himself, and they're enablers.

I wouldn't want to be anywhere near him, constantly having to watch to make sure he wasn't doing something like that. Having to take responsibility for someone else's behaviour is very wearing.

They're enablers, you aren't.

PenelopeFlintstone · 19/06/2018 07:24

If she was just over, she might have killed them if she'd been completely sober.

Anyway, in my post, level of drunkenness wasn't the only mitigating factor. I also said it depends on the type of roads (meaning motorway or just around the corner on little streets) and something else that I can't scroll back for or I'll lose this post. I stand by it.

Angrybird345 · 19/06/2018 07:33

Just imagine if you had chosen not to call the police that night and your dh ended up killing someone .... how would you have felt then, knowing you could have stopped it. You damn well definitely did the right thing and you were not unreasonable in the slightest. Your family are ignorant. One day you’ll put this all behind you but good for you for being strong. You did the right and responsible thing.

FlyMaybe · 19/06/2018 07:37

You totally did the right thing, OP. Hold your head up high. Shame his family can't see that, but you can't reason with stupid. Hope they get to read this thread. I would have done the same thing myself.

Penelope you should be ashamed of yourself.

For you, OP Thanks

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